


Wake Up and Smell the Shitposts

by halesiias (orphan_account)



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Canon Divergence, Drama™, F/F, Gen, Group chat, Innuendo, Instagram, JJ is like the only straight one ngl, Light Angst, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, Memes, Phichit is Free! trash, Shitposts, The discourse is strong in this one, This sort of has a plot, Twitter, kinda unoriginal, lots of screaming, sns, unnecessary swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-02
Updated: 2017-03-18
Packaged: 2018-09-03 17:16:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 34
Words: 33,317
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8722138
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/halesiias
Summary: Gonna skate into the dms ;;)))was probably high when i wrote this don't take it seriously





	1. "....im getting a divorce"

Sent 11-24-15 at 02:30 

 

+guanghongji+: Leo

 

leo_dli: Guang-Hong

 

+guanghongji+: no ur supposed to say ‘what my dear guang-hong? I care so much for you and would be deeply interested in listening to you complain at two am every day for the rest of my life!’

 

leo_dli: um...ok?

 

leo_dli: what my dear guang-hong? I care so much for you and would be deeply interested in listening to you complain at two am every day for the rest of my life!

 

+guanghonji+: im glad you asked! Now, there’s something i’ve needed to get off my chest for awhile that could very well change our relationship. Promise me you wont hate me for telling you this?

 

leo_dli: is this abt u stealing my spaghetti after Skate America bc i already know

 

+guanghongji+:....no....but how’d you figure out? 

 

leo_dli:....i literally watched you take it from the fridge…

 

+guanghongji+: oh.....well, anyway, u ready for the big news?

 

leo_dli: you make it sound like ur pregnant

 

+guanghongji+: haha very funny

 

+guanghongji+: what i wanted to say is that......

 

leo_dli: ?

 

+guanghongji+:.......

 

leo_dli: ??

 

+guanghongji+: ............

 

leo_dli: ?????

 

+guanghongji+: .........................

 

leo_dli: guang-hong

 

+guanghongji+: fiiiiiineeeee ill say it

 

+guanghongji+: I’m.....in love with you!!!!

 

leo_dli: ...........

 

leo_dli: Guang-Hong

 

+guanghongji+: yes?

 

leo_dli: .........

 

leo_dli: we’ve literally been dating for a year

 

+guanghongji+: oh shit ur right

 

 

v-nikiforov posted a photo: at the airport with @yuuri_katsuki! #Japan #Airport #withthebae

 

 

Sent 11-24-15 at 09:47 

 

phichit+chu: omg Yuuri

 

phichit+chu: if anyone had doubts abt ur relationship theyre gone now!

 

phichit+chu: I’m actually crying rip my heart

 

phichit+chu: ….

 

phichit+chu: Yuuri?

 

phichit+chu: oh the silent treatment:

 

phichit+chu: fine. forget my visit to Japan!

 

phichit+chu: I’m going to Leo’s instead for Christmas!

 

phichit+chu: goodbye Yuuri!

 

 

Sent 11-24-15 at 18:22

 

yuuri_katsuki: omg Phichit

 

yuuri_katsuki: my phone died 

 

yuuri_katsuki: I’m sorry!

 

yuuri_katsuki: ……

 

yuuri_katsuki: Phichit?

 

phichit+chu: ur lucky i love u so much

 

yuuri_katsuki: aw thanks :)

 

phichit+chu: im still pissed tho

 

yuuri_katsuki: :(

 

phichit+chu: KIDDING! Aw yuuri im sorry! I forgive u too!

 

yuuri_katsuki: :)

 

yuuri_katsuki: now if you dont mind me I’d like to get some rest before I have to deal with people hate stalking my Instagram 

 

phichit+chu: lol good luck

 

yuuri_katsuki: bye :)

 

 

v-nikiforov posted a photo: My Yuuri is so tired! #sleepy #naptimewithyuuri #aw

 

 

Sent 11-24-15 at 21:10

 

yuri-plisetsky: you guys are gross 

 

yuri-plisetsky: get a room

 

v-nikiforov: as you may have noticed, my dear Yura, we are indeed in a room

 

v-nikiforov: my bedroom to be specific :)

 

yuri-plisetsky: fuck off

 

v-nikiforov: jealous?

 

yuri-plisetsky: no why would I be?

 

v-nikiforov: weelllllll a little birdie told me you two had a touching moment after the competition :)

 

yuri-plisetsky: .....

 

yuri-plisetsky: ...maybe

 

v-nikiforov: Yay! Our son is finally getting along with his parents! :)

 

yuri-plisetsky: ...bye

 

v-nikiforov: Bye Yurio! 

 

yuri-plisetsky:....bye...dad...

 

v-nikiforov: YURIOILOVEYOUSON

 

 

+guanghongji+ commented on v-nikiforov’s photo: Wow! 

 

 

Sent 11-25-15 at 02:01 

 

+guanghongji+: leo

 

leo_dli: we arent doing this again are we

 

+guanghongji+: no i just wanted to say ily bae

 

leo_dli: ....ok

 

+guanghongji+: .....

 

+guanghongji+: ....im getting a divorce

 

leo_dli: guang-hong

 

leo_dli: we arent even married

 

leo_dli: also u know im a terrible flirt

 

+guanghongji+: ...ik

 

+guanghongji+: i just wanted to say goodnight! and...

 

+guanghongji+: ...i really miss you when you’re gone….

 

leo_dli: Guang-Hong I miss you too

 

leo_dli: i swear we’ll see each other again soon. Oh and SNS!

 

+guanghongji+: yeah….but SNS just isn’t the same….

 

leo_dli: we’ll make this work. We always have.

 

+guanghongj+: yeah….

 

leo_delaiglesia:What time is it there? 3:00? I shouldn’t keep you up. Go to sleep, alright? 

 

+guanghongji+: its 2. Goodnight Leo!

 

leo_dli: Goodnight Guang-Hong 

 

Sent 11-25-15 at 04:56

 

christophe-gc: yuuri

 

christophe-gc: i guess this is the wrong time to give a booty call?

 

christophe-gc: yuuri?

 

yuri_katsuki: hi this is victor

 

yuri_katsuki: what do you want

 

christophe-gc: ...shit

 

Sent 11-25-16 at 08:32

 

yuuri_katsuki: hi chris

 

yuuri_katsuki: i dont know how victor got into my instagram, but whatever

 

yuuri_katsuki: also im not interested. ever. thanks


	2. "WEE WOO WEE WOO ITS THE POLICE UR ARRESTED NOW"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter two is up earlier than expected :)

v-nikiforov posted a photo: Can you believe @yuuri_katsuki is 24 now? #hbdyuuri #happybirthday #loveyou

 

Sent 11-29-15 at 14:33

 

phichit+chu: Yuuri! Happy birthday!!!

 

yuuri_katsuki: Thanks Phichit!

 

phichit+chu: I wish I could be there! Oh, but Christmas is so soon! Plus there’s the GPF!

 

yuuri_katsuki: Can’t wait! :)

 

phichit+chu: Bye Yuuri! <3

 

yuuri_katsuki: bye!

 

 

Sent 11-29-15 at 14:50

 

+guanghongji+: I totally forgot your birthday! I’m so sorry Yuuri!

 

Yuuri_katsuki: It’s ok calm down

 

+guanghongji+: oh thank heavens! Brb yuuri!

 

Yuuri_katsuki: k

 

 

Sent 11-29 at 14:55

 

+guanghongji+: Leo! Wake up!

 

+guanghongji+: ik its like early morning there but! GEt! Up!!

 

+guanghongji+: pls

 

+guanghongji+: rn

 

+guanghongji+: babe pls

 

Leo_dli: im awake

 

+guanghongji+: FINALLY! 

 

Leo_dli: what is it

 

Leo_dli: r we getting an overseas divorce again

 

+guanghongji+: no

 

+guanghongji+: it’s Yuuri’s bday!

 

Leo_dli: ur right! Can u make a gc 

 

+guanghongji+: ok

 

+guanghongji+: what should i call it

 

Leo_dli: idk “skater palz?”

 

+guanghong+: ….u know what how about we just use “HBD YUURI!”

 

Leo_dli: ….yeah good move…

 

 

+guanghongji+ made a group chat: HBD YUURI!!!

 

Sent 11-29-15 at 15:03

 

+guanghongji+: ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

 

yuri-plistesky: “Sent 11-29-15 at 10:03?”

 

+guanghongji+: …

 

christophe-gc: It's so early here~

 

+guanghonghi+: ?

 

christophe-gc: 08:06

 

+guanghongji+: oops sorry 

 

leo_dli: it's 2 am here.....

 

+guanghongji+: yeah but its ok bc i woke u up :)

 

leo_dli: yeah....

 

yuuri_katsuki: is this really a chat dedicated to my birthday

 

+guanghongji+: yep! hbd yuuri once again!

 

leo_dli: feliz cumpleaños!

 

yuuri_katsuki: thank you!

 

christophe-gc: happy birthday dear! is it still a no on the booty call ;)

 

yuuri_katsuki: wheres phichit

 

+guanghongji+: idk is he even awake now

 

yuuri_katsuki: yeah its like 13:00 there...

 

leo_dli: .....uh....thats 1 right?

 

+guanghongji+: hahahaha americans :)

 

yuuri_katsuki: yes Leo that's 1:00 

 

leo_dli: at least someone around here is helpful

 

+guanghongji+: rude

 

christophe-gc: YUURI WHY ARE YOU IGNORING ME

 

leo_dli: victor hasnt shown up yet...

 

+guanghongji+: so?

 

leo_dli: i can finally get married to yuuri! hes so nice! and caring! :)

 

+guanghong ji+: ........

 

yuuri_katsuki: i......eh

 

leo_dli: will u @yuuri_katsuki become my internet husband?

 

yuuri_katsuki: .........sure

 

leo_dli: Yes! goodbye @+guanghongji+ we're over :)

 

+guanghongji+: .....my own boyfriend and friend suddenly decide to go off and elope, leaving me to die alone? 

 

yuri-plisetsky: Tragic

 

+guanghongji+: thnks for the sympathy

 

yuri-plisetsky: if it makes you feel any better i'm single too

 

jjleroy!15: yeah, but unlike you Guang-Hong can actually get a man

 

yuri-plisetsky: FUCK YOU JJ

 

yuri_plisetsky: WHY ARE YOU EVEN HERE WHO EVEN INVITED YOU

 

christophe-gc: .......

 

yuri-plistesky: GIACOMETTI

 

christophe-gc: .......oops

 

+guanghongji+: well....thanks for sticking up for me @jjleroy!15

 

jjleroy!15: np! thats just JJ STYLE!

 

yuri-plisetsky: fuck. off.

 

jjleroy!15: i don't even speak english wtf are you talking about

 

yuri-plisetsky: im leaving bye fuckers 

 

 

Sent 11-29-15 at 15:30

 

yuri-plisetsky: i hate your friends

 

yuuri_katsuki: who

 

yuri-plisetsky: all of them

 

yuuri_katsuki: yourself included?

 

yuri-plisetsky: i thought i was your son

 

yuuri_katsuki: so you admit it!

 

yuri-plisetsky: .....Victor didnt tell you

 

yuuri_katsuki: ?

 

yuri-plisetsky: i said that a few days ago

 

yuuri_katsuki: .....

 

yuuri_katsuki: ....why is everyone like this

 

 

HBD YUURI!

 

Sent 11-29-15 at 15:46

 

phichit+chu: ~here i am~

 

leo_dli: once again feeling lost but now and then i breathe it in to let it go

 

phichit+chu: ? is that a song?

 

leo_dli: its an american kids show lmao

 

+guanghongji+: oh victorious or something right? we watched it together once!

 

+guanghongji+: haha victorious! Victor-ious!

 

leo_dli: .....who r u

 

+guanghongji+: i hate you

 

leo_dli: hate is a strong word. also who r u and what have u done with my sweet guang-hong

 

+guanghongji+: who r u again??

 

yuuri_katsuki: im sorry for ruining ur relationship

 

+guanghongji+: thnks????

 

yuuri_katsuki: btw leo and i got a divorce

 

christophe-gc: why????

 

phichit+chu: BC VICTORS A JEALOUS HO OBVI

 

yuuri_katsuki: language. there are minors....

 

yuri-plisetsky: fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck

 

phichit+chu: WEE WOO WEE WOO ITS THE POLICE UR ARRESTED NOW

 

yuri-plisetsky: ?

 

yuuri_katsuki: why do i even bother with you people

 

kenjirou-m: Yuuri! I'll follow the rules!!!

 

yuuri_katsuki: ...ok minami

 

+guanghongji+: you....you're the Japanese skater who was fawning over Yuuri!

 

kenjirou-m: yep!

 

yuri-plisetsky: aka the katsudon stalker

 

jjleroy!15: didn't you stalk Victor and go to Japan to find him?

 

yuri-plisetsky: Thats different. I'm not some crazy Victor fanboy, unlike Yuuri

 

v-nikiforov: i heard my name~

 

yuri-plisetsky: actually you read it but whatever

 

phichit+chu: ROAST HIM TO DEATH YURIO!

 

yuri-plisetsky: ONLY MY PARENTS CAN CALL ME THAT

 

v-nikiforov: weren't you raised by ur grandpa?

 

v-nikiforov: OH YOU MEANT ME AND YUURI :)

 

yuri-plisetsky: im leaving

 

jjleroy!15: oh so cold....well, i guess you are russian :)

 

yuri_plisetsky: I hate you

 

yuuri_katsuki: bye yurio! thanks again for the pirozhkis!

 

yuri-plisetsky: yeah...your welcome

 

jjleroy!15: *You're

 

yuri-plisetsky: GOODBYE

 

 

+guanghongji+ posted a photo: i’m a genius! #victornikiforov #victorious #myedit

 

 

Sent 11-29-15 at 16:01

 

leo_dli: did u just…

 

leo_dli: make a victorious edit with victor’s face over tori’s?

 

leo_dli: wow

 

leo_dli: Guang-Hong?

 

+guanghongji+: …wanna get re-married

 

leo_dli: k

 

+guanghongji+: k


	3. "wet boys"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> REUPLOAD BC MY SHITTY EMOJIS WERE BLOCKING THE WHOLE CHAPTER FROM UPLOADING

Sent 12-2-15 at 06:54

 

+guanghongji+: leo help i have school in an hour

 

leo_dli: ?

 

+guanghongji+: help me with a math problem

 

leo_dli: ok

 

+guanghongji+: 9x-7i > 3(3x-7u)

 

+guanghongji+: solve for i

 

leo_dli: isnt this like grade seven stuff?

 

+guanghongji+" just solve it!

 

leo_dli: ok um....

 

leo_dli:......i < 3u

 

leo_dli: .....wow

 

+guanghongji+: thnks love you too! <3

 

+guanghongji+: bye leo! wish me luck!

 

leo_dli: good luck at school <3

 

 

 

HBD YUURI

 

Sent 12-2-15 at 07:17

 

phichit+chu: you guys abandoned me for three whole days

 

leo_dli: to be fair i was training

 

phichit+chu: FOR 72 CONSECUTIVE HOURS????

 

leo_dli: ......sorry

 

yuuri_katsuki: you guys are up early :)

 

yuuri_katsuki: watcha :) :) :) doin :) :) :)

 

phichit+chu: shit he's pissed

 

yuuri_katsuki: idk :) :) :) what ur :) :) :) talking bout :) :) :)

 

phichit+chu: ABANDON SHIP

 

phichit+chu: AHHHHHHHHH

 

leo_dli: Phichit chill

 

phichit+chu: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

 

phichit+chu: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

 

phichit+chu: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

 

phichit+chu: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

 

phichit+chu: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

 

yuri-plisetsky: what the fuck could you possibly be screaming about at 1 am

 

phichit+chu: its like 5 here so it should be ok :)

 

phichit+chu: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

 

yuri-plisetsky: SHUT THE FUCK UPPP

 

phichit+chu: AW IS YURIO MAD :)

 

yuri-plisetsky: FUCK YOU ILL FLY OVER TO BANGKOK RN AND KICK UR ASS

 

phichit+chu: or u could just wait another week until the GPF :)

 

yuri-plisetsky: ..............

 

yuri-plisetsky: ok.....ur on

 

yuri-plisetsky: ill beat ur ass to the podium and take gold!

 

phichit+chu: A CHALLENGE! I GOTTA POST THIS!!!!

 

yuri-plisetsky: YOU ARE LITERALLY THE WORST

 

 

 

 

phichit+chu posted a photo: Good times with my old pal Yuri~ #itson #GPF #gonnagetgold #watchoutyurio

 

 

 

phichit+chu changed name to "fight on ice"

 

Sent 12-2-15 at 07:46

 

kenjirou-m: why is this called fight on ice?

 

phichit+chu: scroll up ^^^^^^^^

 

kenjirou-m: oh....

 

kenjirou-m: I LOVE CHALLENGES

 

kenjirou-m: REMEMBER WHEN I CHALLENGED YUURI @ CSK CHAMPIONSHIP

 

phichit+chu: yep! they're fun right?

 

kenjirou-m: yeah!!!

 

yuri-plisetsky: DONT TREAT THIS LIKE A GAME

 

yuri-plisetsky: IM GONNA WIN AND IM SERIOUS ABT THIS

 

yuri-plisetsky: WATCH UR BACK CHULANONT

 

phichit+chu: WHOS YELLING NOW HUH??

 

yuri-plisetsky: still you

 

phichit+chu: shit...ur right

 

yuri-plisetsky: ik im always right

 

v-nikiforov: i beg to differ yurio

 

v-nikiforov: remember...?

 

yuri-plisetsky: SHUT UP OLD MAN

 

v-nikiforov: im hurt

 

v-nikiforov: where yuuri when i need him :'(

 

yuuri_katsuki: literally right next to you. we're in the same bed.

 

yuuri_katsuki: im going back to bed bye *_*

 

v-nikiforov: sweet dreaams my darling katsudon

 

yuri-plisetsky: ew ur gross

 

phichit+chu: thats not a nice thing to say to your birth givers 

 

yuri-plisetsky: ONE IM FULL RUSSIAN

 

yuri-plisetsky: TWO THEYRE BOTH MEN

 

yuri-plisetsky: THREE THAT WOULD MEAN THEY WERE 12 AND 8 WHEN THEY HAD ME

 

yuri-plisetsky: FOUR EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

 

v-nikiforov: has yurio even had the talk yet? we should give it to him

 

yuuri_katsuki: dont get me involved. wanna sleep.

 

phichit+chu: I CAN EDUCATE HIM

 

yuri-plisetsky: IM LITERALLY 15 SCREW YOU

 

yuri-plisetsky: VICTOR YOU LITERALLY GAVE IT TO ME 5 TIMES NOW YOU SHITHEAD

 

yuri-plisetsky: LITERALLY EVERY 15 YEAR OLD KNOWS. HELL, EVERY 10 YEAR OLD PROBABLY KNOWS AT LEAST A LITTLE BIT ABT IT

 

v-nikiforov: really? i learned when i was 17 :0

 

phichit+chu: really? wow! i was y-o-u-n-g! maybe.........12?

 

v-nikiforov: wow! how times have changed :0

 

yuri-plisetsky: YOURE LITERALLY 12 AND 5 YEARS OLDER THAN ME. IT HASNT BEEN THAT LONG

 

v-nikiforov: if u stayed in Japan i wouldve shrugged at u rn

 

phichit+chu: are you suggesting yuri would be in bed with you too?!? #scandalous #ew #thatsrllygross

 

v-nikiforov: Makkachin sleeps with us, so i dont see why not?

 

phichit+chu: ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

 

yuri-plisetsky: CHULANONT THIS MAKES ME WANNA KICK UR ASS EVEN MORE

 

jjleroy!15: *Your

 

yuri-plisetsky: FUCK YOU. WHY ARE YOU EVEN AWAKE? DONT OLD PEOPLE GO TO BED EARLY

 

jjleroy!15: I'm hurt. I'm only 19 you know! Barely old enough to consume alcohol in the Yukon!

 

yuri-plisetsky: am i expected to know where that is

 

jjleroy!15: no.....ps its only 7:00 :)

 

yuri-plisetsky: THATS FUCKING LATE FOR AN OLD PERSON

 

jjleroy!15: isn't it like 1 there? how abt you sleep instead?

 

yuri-plisetsky: LEAVE

 

jjleroy!15: nope! i do things JJ STYLE!!!!

 

phichit+chu: Wow! such branding! much JJ! very candian!

 

leo_dli: sorry to burst your bubble Phichit but that meme is long dead

 

phichit+chu: NOO! I LOVE THE CUTE DOGGY MEME! BRING HIM BACK BRING HIM BACK!!!

 

leo_dli: sorry, but Kermit the Frog memes are all the rage rn

 

phichit+chu: WHAT ABT KEYBOARD CAT????

 

leo_dli: wow thats an ancient one....

 

phichit+chu: NOOOO!!! how abt..............that boy???

 

yuri-plisetsky: you mean dat boi

 

+guanghongji+: SHIT WHATUP

 

leo_dli: arent you supposed to be in class?

 

+guanghongji+: eh....maybe ;)

 

+guanghongji+: wait minami was on too and u didnt say anything

 

yuri-plisetsky: we forgot his looks were deceiving and that hes actually not a 12 year old

 

phichit+chu: SHOTS FIRED

 

kenjirou_minami: Rude! I was on the train going to school ! :(

 

phichit+chu: oopa

 

leo_dli: oompa loompa

 

+guanghongji+: isnt one running for president of ur country?

 

leo_dli: .....no comment....

 

yuri-plisetsky: u mean that walking cheeto? fuck him. 

 

phichit+chu: ok but is your president or trumpty dumpty worse?

 

yuri-plisetsky: ......no comment......

 

+guanghongji+: snatched

 

phichit+chu: ur countrys homophobic too ji-ji

 

+guanghongji+: no one knows youre gay @ fite on ice

 

phichit+chu: except literally everyone on this chat

 

yuri-plisetsky: true

 

leo_dli: arent like most of us gay??? or at least in that spectrum?

 

phichit+chu: yeah....yuuri, victor, u, ji-ji, me, chris, probably minami......a solid 5/9!

 

leo_dli: impressive math phichit

 

+guanghongji+: hey phichit can u help me solve a math problem

 

leo_dli: o_o

 

+guanghongji+: im being serious rn bae its ok ily

 

leo_dli: thank god

 

+guanghongji+: whats √25

 

phichit+chu: ....this is elementary level math ji

 

+guanghongji+: JUST ANSWER THE QUESTION

 

phichit+chu: ok....5

 

+guanghongji+: thnks

 

phichit+chu: ur welcome...?

 

leo_dli: i bullied him for that too lmao

 

+guanghongji+: shut up not everyone can be cute, funny, a competitive skater, AND smart !_!

 

leo_dli: whats that emoji

 

+guanghongji+: emo tears

 

yuri-plisetsky: i relate ngl

 

phichit+chu: SHUT UP YOU #FAKEEMO

 

yuri-plisetsky: MY EDGY HAIRCUT SAYS OTHERWISE MR ' I PRANCE AROUND WHILE WEARING PRINCES COSTUMES ON ICE AND GANG CLOTHES ON THE STREET'

 

phichit+chu: THEYRE NOT GANG CLOTHES!!!! :'(

 

leo_dli: idk phichit

 

phichit+chu: shut up!!!! Theyre cool!!!!

 

yuri-plisetsky: who told u that ur mom? Yuuri? Your coach?

 

phichit+chu: as if i would listen to Ciao Ciao!

 

kenjirou-m: I like your clothes Phichit! send pics!

 

+guanghongji+: scandalous :0

 

leo_dli: go to school GH

 

+guanghongji+: bye ily

 

leo_dli: <3

 

yuri-plisetsky: im gonna go drink bleach

 

phichit+chu: I automatically win the challenge then! #Phichitwins! #GPF #GOLD

 

yuri-plisetsky: fuck dying i NEED TO WIN

 

phichit+chu: thats the spirit! 

 

kenjirou-m: never give up!

 

phichit+chu: who else is singing the Free! ED?

 

yuri-plisetsky: wtf is Free

 

phichit+chu: wet boys

 

leo_dli: chris on ice?

 

phichit+chu: well, no, but yes

 

phichit+chu: its hot gay boys swimming

 

kenjirou-m: oh free! mr. sharky is mean

 

phichit+chu: RIGHT????

 

phichit+chu: ngl rin is my least favorite he was such a dick :/

 

kenjirou-m: rei is best boy!

 

phichit+chu: hell yeah! Rei did nothing wrong!!

 

leo_dli: no idea what ur talking about but ok

 

yuri-plisetsky: why are you so gay chulanont

 

phichit+chu: BABY I WAS BORN THIS WAY!!!!!

 

leo_dli: lady gaga is queen

 

phichit+chu: hell yeah!

 

yuri-plisetsky: whatever. im gonna talk to someone sort of normal

 

 

Sent 12-2-15 at 8:19

 

yuri-plisetsky: Mila

 

m_babicheva: Hm? what is is yuri?

 

yuri-plisetsky: theyre so annoying

 

m_babicheva: oh u mean your skater friends? they seem so nice though!

 

yuri-plisetsky: ur just horny

 

m_babicheva: Not true! I have a gf~

 

yuri-plisetsky: WHAT? WHO????

 

m_babicheva: Sara Crispino!

 

yuri-plisetsky: u cant be serious...everyone is gay....everyone

 

m_babicheva: im bi but yeah w/e

 

m_babicheva: dont tell me you respect our presidents ideal now?

 

yuri-plisetsky: like hell I do

 

yuri-plisetsky: ive basically been adopted by katsudon and Victor

 

m_babicheva: wow! im jealous~

 

m_babicheva: nyway gn baby yuri! sleep tight now!

 

yuri-plisetsky: are you already going to bed?

 

m_babicheva: nah ive been on a 6 hour facetime with the bae

 

yuri-plisetsky: wow

 

m_babicheva: m. Night Yuri!

 

yuri-plisetsky: Night…

 

 

m_babicheva posted a photo: Late night chats w/ the bae~ #loveher #facetime #saraisbae

 

 

 

fight on ice

 

Sent 12-2-15 at 08:32

 

yuuri_katsuki: wow you guys sure are busy early in the morning *_*

 

phichit+chu: sorry did I disturb your majestys peaceful slumber

 

v-nikiforov: as if. yuuris been up for an hour reading something on his phone

 

phichit+chu: my my

 

phichit+chu: yuuri......

 

yuuri_katsuki: "THROUGH THE LOOKING GLASS"!!! I SWEAR!!!!

 

phichit+chu: wow! is that Alice in Wonderland?

 

yuuri_katsuki: yep!

 

yuri-plisetsky: i didnt know u could read katsudon

 

leo_dli: wow! a wild harry potter ref appears!

 

yuuri_katsuki: i wasnt aware you could type yurio

 

phichit+chu: SHOTS FUCKING FIRED

 

yuri-plisetsky: i need a new hobby. and sleep. gn

 

yuuri_katsuki: gn yurio! -Victor & Yuuri

 

phichit+chu: bye my lovely nephew!

 

yuri-plisetsky: what-fucking-ever im too tired to complain. bye.

 

leo_dli: Adios yuri! 

 

phichit+chu: adios @ my life

 

yuuri_katsuki: adios @ my dignity

 

leo_dli: adios @ everything

 

v-nikiforov: hola

 

leo_dli: is this spanish class now :?

 

v-nikiforov: yes? teach me things Professor de la Iglesia

 

leo_dli: Adios= bye. Hola=hello. congrats. u know spanish

 

phichit+chu: wow! youre better than Ciao Ciao is at trying to teach me Italian!

 

leo_dli: i try

 

phichit+chu: i would teach something but im busy

 

leo_dli: ?

 

phichit+chu: mario kart

 

leo_dli: play online ill try to join

 

phichit+chu: sweet

 

leo_dli: im obvi leo! i see u!

 

phichit+chu: yess!

 

leo_dli: im just gonna hang up the dms for awhile bye guys

 

phichit+chu: same. bye.

 

v-nikiforov: pfvWSZGRuk8hy gvfg234

 

phichit+chu: ?

 

yuuri_katsuki: he fell asleep while typing lol

 

phichit+chu: aw! sleep well victor!

 

leo_dli: yep!

 

v-nikiforov: hoijhlh8ui

 

phichit+chu: yes we love you too <3

 

leo_dli: <3

 

yuuri_katsuki: <3

 

 

yuuri_katsuki posted a photo: revenge #victorisalwaystired #revengeforallthosepicsofme #haha


	4. "phichit. pull the trigger."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i updated today :)  
> yay :) me :)  
> im :) so :) tired :)

Sent 12-23-15 at 12:10

 

mickey-crispino: SARA CRISPINO

 

sara-crispino: yes mickey?

 

mickey-crispino: YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND????

 

sara-crispino: ....bye

 

mickey-crispino: SARA

 

 

Sent 12-23-15 at 12:12

 

sara-crispino: mickey's so mad :0

 

m_babicheva: oh

 

m_babicheva: sucks for him

 

sara-crispino: lol yeah

 

sara-crispino: he was so worried i was gonna end up with Seung-gil or Yuuri...

 

sara-crispino: looks like i fooled him!

 

m_babicheva: is that a win for us or the fact that heteronormativity is so strong

 

sara-crispino: idk lets just celebrate while we can :)

 

m_babicheva: good idea :)

 

sara-crispino: what time is it there?

 

m_babicheva: 06:12 :)

 

sara-crispino: oh did i wake you up? sorry

 

m_babicheva: nah its ok

 

m_babicheva: yura has a thing for ranting late at night and early in the morning anyway

 

sara-crispino: thats a relief

 

sara-crispino: you should get some sleep though. the GPF is coming up soon and we gotta do our best

 

m_babicheva: agreed!

 

m_babicheva: bye Sara! <3

 

sara-crispino: Bye Mila <3

 

 

Sent 12-23-15 at 12:20

 

yuri-plisetsky: Miiiiiilllllaaaaaaa

 

m_babicheva: every time i see you evanescence starts blaring in my head

 

yuri-plisetsky: okay?

 

m_babicheva: m. coninue.

 

yuri-plisetsky: youll never guess what happened this time

 

m_babicheva: did you finally get a lover yura?!??!

 

yuri-plisetsky: screw off hag. im serious.

 

m_babicheva: just tell me

 

yuri-plisetsky: fine. i havent slept in 41 hours

 

m_babicheva: i raise you my 52 hours of sleep deprivation 

 

yuri-plisetsky: shit i lost again

 

yuri-plisetsky: how do you even stay awake that long

 

m_babicheva: a cute gf, coffee, and talent :)

 

yuri-plisetsky: interesting. ill look into it

 

m_babicheva: THE GF PART???

 

yuri-plisetsky: no the coffee part. i wanna try it.

 

m_babicheva: ....you've never had coffee?

 

yuri-plisetsky: so? im only 15

 

m_babicheva: PLEASE THERE ARE 12 YEAR OLDS DRINKING COFFEE THESE DAYS

 

yuri-plisetsky: thats not exactly healthy

 

m_babicheva: if a kid has to be up by 6:40 for school and theyre only 11 i cant really blame them for drinking coffee

 

yuri-plisetsky: i guess

 

m_babicheva: .....nyway.....im gonna sleep now

 

yuri-plisetsky: wait....so if i stay up for an additional 12 hours then I'll win?????

 

yuri-plisetsky: hahahahaa snatched

 

m_babicheva: go to bed yura

 

yuri-plisetsky: shut up

 

m_babicheva: should i sing my lil bro a lullaby? rock-a-bye baby on the tree top~

 

yuri-plisetsky: IM ASLEEP

 

 

+guanghongji+ posted a photo: help me #stuckatschool #theteacherscominmyway #ohno #imtoocutetodie

 

 

Sent 12-23-15 at 13:22

 

leo_dli: do you ever actually go to class

 

+guanghongji+: hey im in class!

 

leo_dli: then log off

 

+guanghongji+: im divorcing u again

 

leo_dli: ji

 

+guanghongji+: I TAKE IT BACK

 

+guanghongji+: JUST DONT USE MY LAST NAME AGAIN PLS :'(

 

+guanghongji+: IT TOOK ME A YEAR TO GET TO FIRST NAME BASIS

 

leo_dli: sorry

 

+guanghongji+: <3

 

leo_dli: <3

 

 

fight on ice

 

Sent 12-3-15 at 14:07

 

phichit+chu: u know what would be a great idea?

 

 

phichit+chu changed chat name to "cheese whiz"

 

 

phichit+chu: a secret santa @ the GPF!

 

kenjirou-m: what does cheese whiz have to do with a secret santa?

 

phichit+chu: nothing. i just like it.

 

leo_dli: i knew u had bad taste lol

 

phichit+chu: its good!

 

leo_dli: dont trust him minami it tastes like plastic

 

phichit+chu: maybe i happen to enjoy the taste of plastic! 

 

leo_dli: like i said: bad taste

 

kenjirou-m: could we not fight?

 

jjleroy!15: no

 

leo_dli: thanks

 

jjleroy!15: i already told you i didnt have brain surgery grandma!

 

phichit+chu: im grandma?

 

jjleroy!15: oops wrong chat

 

leo_dli: why are you dming your grandma on instagram?

 

jjleroy!15: its the only website she understands

 

jjleroy!15: besides tinder

 

phichit+chu: ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

 

jjleroy!15: ikr

 

jjleroy!15: well this has been great. bye!

 

leo_dli: .......

 

leo_dli: his grandma has a tinder

 

leo_dli: ............

 

phichit+chu: what if she had grindr instead lol

 

leo_dli: i would be very confused

 

kenjirou-m: whats grindr?

 

phichit+chu: u dont wanna know

 

kenjirou-m: .....ok

 

leo_dli: phichit can we change the name

 

leo_dli: cheese whiz sucks

 

phichit+chu: oh right back to the cheese whiz discourse of course!

 

phichit+chu: im gonna make a twitter poll just to prove you wrong!

 

leo_dli: good luck lol

 

 

Phichit Chulanont posted a poll: Opinion on Cheese Whiz (leo ur gonna lose)

 

 

cheese whiz

 

Sent 12-3-15 at 14:01

 

phichit+chu: and now we wait ;)

 

leo_dli: im pretty sure everyone hates it but ok

 

christophe-gc: it tastes like ass

 

phichit+chu: ok but only youd know that chris

 

leo_dli: while you try (and fail) at roasting chris, id like to thank him for being SMART

 

christophe-gc: its just the truth ;)

 

phichit+chu: shut up leo. how do we even know if thats a bad thing or not?

 

christophe-gc: ;)

 

leo_dli: ew im leaving

 

phichit+chu: goodbye loser!

 

leo_dli: well see tomorrow who the real loser is chulanont

 

christophe-gc: ur mom

 

 

leo_dli posted a photo: haha :) #loser #cheesewhizsucks #ripphichit2k15

 

480 Comments 

 

phichit+chu: WHYD YOU POST ON INSTA

 

phichit+chu: WHEN WILL THE ABUSE END

 

leo_dli: @phichit+chu lol pay up

 

phichit+chu: @leo_dli ?

 

leo_dli: @phichit+chu $40. i accept paypal.

 

phichit+chu: no way.

 

leo_dli: @phichit+chu then fly on over to America. I'm sure i can find food better than processed cheese in a jar

 

phichit+chu: im going to Barcelona in a week. come there to support me :)

 

leo_dli: @phichit+chu no

 

phichit+chu: :(

 

semmy-irene: @phichit+chu I live in Barcelona! I'll be there!

 

phichit+chu: @semmy-irene ur my new bff

 

phichit+chu: @leo_dli bye loser :)

 

leo_dli: i still have @+guanghongji+

 

phichit+chu: he doesnt count

 

op_niki-don: @phichit+chu why doesnt @+guanghongji+ count as @leo_dli 's friend? :0

 

leo_dli: @op_niki-don he's a liar ignore him

 

phichit+chu: FIGHT ON ICE 2.0 @yuri-plisetsky

 

yuri-plisetsky: stop getting me involved

 

kitty_plisetsky: I LOVE YOU @yuri-plisetsky !!!!!

 

yuri-plisetsky: @kitty_plisetsky I wouldve never guessed

 

leo_dli: @yuri-plisetsky stop being rude to your fans!

 

yuri-plisetsky: @leo_dli at least my biggest fan isnt my signicant other :)

 

leo_dli: I-

 

phichit+chu: SO HE ADMITS IT

 

princess_nikiforov: @leo_dli @yuri-plisetsky @phichit+chu ???????

 

leo_dli: @princess_nikiforov nothing

 

yuuri_katsuki: @princess_nikiforov who'd you kill for that username

 

leo_dli: probably you @yuuri_katsuki :)

 

yuuri_katsuki: im not a princess...

 

phichit+chu: yeah. hes a queen!

 

princess_nikiforov: @phichit+chu agreed!

 

phichit+chu: lmao im imagining yuuri as the evil queen from snow white :}

 

yuri-plisetsky: can you stop shitposting off of the group chat. this is confidential 

 

sym_pho_nikiforov: you have a group chat @phichit+chu @yuri-plisetsky @leo_dli @yuuri_katsuki

 

leo_dli: @sym_pho_nikiforov its confidential ;)

 

yuri-plisetsky: sh

 

yuuri_katsuki: @phichit+chu help

 

phichit+chu: ?

 

yuuri_katsuki: dog

 

phichit+chu: SEND PICS

 

yuuri_kastuki: dont post them or ill...idk....

 

phichit+chu: k

 

 

Sent 12-4-16 at 16:45

 

yuuri_katsuki: MC is on me

 

yuuri_katsuki: so is Victor...:')

 

phichit+chu: i knew u still had a little bit of fanboy left in u

 

yuuri_katsuki: eh i think its just hormonal stuff

 

phichit+chu: u talk like ur still a teen yuuuuri

 

yuuri_katsuki: I do? perhaps you should read what you type

 

phichit+chu: touché

 

yuuri_katsuki: anyway heres a pic 

 

yuuri_katsuki: help.png

 

phichit+chu: haha thanks

 

phichit+chu: bye yuuuuuuuri~

 

yuuri_katsuki: pHICHIT

 

 

phichit+chu posted a photo: wow! #victuuri #makkachin #cute #iwillgodownwiththisship #butnohomo:)

 

243 Comments

 

yuuri_katsuki: PHICHIT

 

phichit+chu: YUURI

 

leo_dli: hey thats me and gh's thing

 

phichit+chu: yeah but unlike u were platonicbestbrosbestex- roomatesnohomoonlybromobffsforeverbestbros

 

yuuri_katsuki: what does that even mean

 

phichit+chu: it means were not *******

 

yuuri_katsuki: .......

 

leo_dli: PHICHIT ILL STRANGLE YOU

 

phichit+chu: lmao have fun on ur 20 hour flight to Bangkok! xoxoxo

 

leo_dli: IM FLYING TO BARCELONA TO TACKLE YOU ON THE ICE

 

phichit+chu: platonic tackles or the victuuri tackle™ 

 

leo_dli: pHICHIT

 

yuri-plisetsky: stop screaming

 

phichit+chu: YURIO!!!!!!!!!

 

v-nikiforov: yuuri

 

yuuri_katsuki: hm

 

v-nikiforov: **** **

 

yuuri_katsuki: ok

 

yuuri_katsuki: bye guys :)

 

phichit+chu: OH MY GOD ARE YIOU GUYS SSURDIUE

 

leo_dli: ????????????????YUURI????????????????

 

phichit+chu: OH M6TJHT4IL GODFOSDDC

 

yuri-plisetsky: YOU GUYS ARE DISGUSTINGGGGGG WTF 

 

phichit+chu: YUUURI @yuuri_katsuki ANSWWEEERR MEEEEEEEEEEFRE

 

leo_dli: WHAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTT

 

leo_dli: @yuuri_katsuki @yuuri_katsuki @yuuri_katsuki !!!!!!!!!!!

 

yuuri_katsuki: what?

 

phichit+chu: R U DOINGF ITTT

 

yuuri_katsuki: It?

 

phichit+chu: ITTTTTTTT "iT" IT THE DO DOUNG TH DO "IT"

 

yuuri_katsuki: ??????

 

yuuri_katsuki: OH MY GOD PHOICHIT

 

yuuri_katsuki: IT STANDSCD FOR XMAS 4P

 

yuuri_katsuki: AKA A GIFT FOR UUUU

 

yuuri_katsuki: YOURE SO EXTRAA PHICHIT

 

phichit+chu: ASKJCDSEJHD OMF IM SORRY

 

p_hini: @phichit+chu YOU THINK DIRTY SON

 

phichit+chu: @p_hini nah i clean up nicely :) someones gotta sweep the ice :)

 

leo_dli: LMAO

 

yuuri_katsuki: you all are ridiculous. goodbye.

 

trn_skate: @yuuri_katsuki Wait! can u say "ily bae :)"

 

yuuri_katsuki: @trn_skate uh ok

 

yuuri_katsuki: ily bae :)

 

v-nikiforov: im ur only bae Yuuri

 

trn_skate: @25-days-of-niksmas CALLED IT

 

yuuri_katsuki: victor ik. bye instagram :)

 

phichit+chu: stop spamming me!!!!!!!!!!! i need a nap!!!!!!!

 

yuri-plisetsky: good riddance @yuuri_katsuki

 

v-nikiforov: dont talk to your father that way

 

_catsuki_: father? omfg!

 

v-nikiforov: @_catsuki_ ;)

 

phichit+chu: this close to deleting this post

 

v-nikiforov: @yuri-plisetsky what do u want for christmas yurio? another kitty headband? ;)

 

yuri-plisetsky: phichit. pull the trigger.


	5. "comment"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> short chapter to introduce the boy who deserved so much better

Sent 12-6-15 at 04:11

 

leo_dli: guang-hong

 

leo_dli: winters has arrived

 

leo_dli: my rooms so hot :(

 

+guanghongji+: cant be that bad

 

leo_dli: its literally 80° 

 

+guanghongji+: WTF REALLY

 

+guanghongji+: CANT THAT LIKE KILL YOU OR SOMETHING

 

+guanghongji+: ARE YOU DYINGF? BBY LEAAAVVEEE THSAT ROOM NOW

 

+guanghongji+: THATS LIKE THE TEMPERATURE OF A FUCKING OVEN L E A V E

 

leo_dli: ?

 

leo_dli: its not that hot

 

leo_dli: i mean maybe i should take off my sweater

 

leo_dli: but this is like normal summer weather

 

+gunaghongji+: WTF HOW ARE ANY OPF YOU ALIVE

 

+guanghongji+: MAYBE THATS HOW YOU WIN AT THE OLYMPICS YOURE ALL SUPERHUMANS

 

leo_dli: ?

 

+guanghongji+: 80 is soooooooooooo hot arent u coming down with boils and melting?

 

leo_dli: no?

 

+guanghongji+: are u dying?

 

leo_dli: no?

 

+guanghongji+: are you a reptile person

 

leo_dli: .......no

 

+guanghongji+: THEN HOW

 

leo_dli: ?

 

 

Sent 12-6-15 at 06:01

 

 

+guanghongji+: so....i just remembered theres such a thing as Fahrenheit in America.....

 

leo_dli: ..........

 

 

cheese whiz

 

Sent 12-6-15 at 06:10

 

leo_dli: guanghongfreaksout.png

 

leo_dli: .............

 

leo_dli: i was never here........

 

 

Sent 12-6-15 at 07:23

 

phichit+chu: omg

 

phichit+chu: ji-ji!

 

phichit+chu: ahahahaha

 

yuri-plisetsky: is he actually 17

 

phichit+chu: yeah, despite his looks

 

kenjirou-m: me too! #(*0*)#

 

yuri-plisetsky: arent u like 50 cm

 

kenjirou-m: IM 155 CM!! ONLY LIKE 10 CM SHORTER THAN U!

 

yuri-plisetsky: one for every year cuz ur like 5 right 

 

phichit+chu: aw yurio dont bully ur beloved minami-senpai!

 

yuri-plisetsky: ew

 

yuri-plisetsky: piss of chulanont this is confidential business

 

jjleroy!15: Confidential enough for an entire group chat to see it

 

yuri-plisetsky: WHY DO YOU ONLY SHOW UP TO BULLY ME

 

jjleroy!15: If anything I'm stopping you from bullying another peasant

 

yuri-plisetsky: "ANOTHER" ?

 

yuri-plisetsky: WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE

 

jjleroy!15: Im the king!

 

phichit+chu: wait...and yuuri's the queen....are you guys secretly together

 

jjleroy!15: I have a girlfriend

 

jjleroy!15: Victor would kick my ass anyway

 

yuri-plisetsky: Katsudon is too good for you anyway you asshole

 

jjleroy!15: ok yuri! see you in a week!

 

yuri-pliserky: ugh

 

phichit+chu: haha

 

yuri-plisetsky: what

 

phichit+chu: you're so mad over nothing

 

yuri-plisetsky: jj is the fucking worst

 

phichit+chu: .....mkay

 

 

Sent 12-6-15 at 08:29

 

phichit+chu: yurio's angry again 

 

phichit+chu: wanna talk?

 

phichit+chu: unless you're asleep...

 

seung-gillee: no. I'm here.

 

phichit+chu: Hi!

 

seung-gillee: hi

 

phichit+chu: what time is it?

 

seung-gillee: 08:29

 

phichit+chu: its only 6 here :0

 

seugn-gillee: why are you up so early 

 

phichit+chu: huh? i always am....

 

phichit+chu: oh wait! i forgot ur not in the gc!

 

seung-gillee: ?

 

phichit+chu: You'll see!

 

 

cheese whiz

 

phichit+chu added seung-gillee to chat

 

Sent 12-6-15 at 08:33

 

phichit+chu: here we are!

 

seung-gillee: oh

 

yuri-plisetsky: great. another person i have to deal with

 

yuri-plisetsky: i guess it could be worse though. mila could be on here

 

phichit+chu: she already is. she just doesnt go on here

 

yuri-plisetsky: not like i can blame her for avoiding this hellhole 

 

phichit+chu: you say that, yet you're still here

 

phichit+chu: im beginning to suspect you actually like us yuri!

 

yuri-plisetsky: unlikely

 

phichit+chu: rude

 

seung-gillee: what do we do here

 

phichit+chu: hm...what do we do yurio?

 

yuri-plisetsky: scream late at night, cause unnecessary drama, and use outdated memes as commas

 

leo_dli: are you describing the whole chat or just phichit? ;)

 

phichit+chu: mean! take it back, you will!

 

yuri-plisetsky: i forgot cliches. there are lots of those

 

seung-gillee: i see

 

leo_dli: really we just use this to bully each other

 

yuri-plisetsky: and claim everything is a roast

 

phichit+chu: stop picking on me!

 

phichit+chu: this isnt even about the gc anymore ur just teasing me!

 

 

yuri-plisetsky changed chat name to "Pick on Phichit"

 

 

leo_dli: wow

 

phichit+chu: meanies!

 

seung-gillee: i think i understand now

 

phichit+chu: cool! post something if u want!

 

seung-gillee: is anyone here straight

 

phichit+chu: haha as if

 

leo_dli: well JJ is....thats abt it

 

phichit+chu: Michele Crispono is but we wont let him on here lol

 

yuri-plisetsky: his thing with his sister is a borderline obsession

 

phichit+chu: ikr? straight ppl r wild

 

leo_dli: who else....? idk abt minami so that leaves....just JJ

 

phichit+chu: yeah even mila's dating a girl!

 

seung-gillee: who?

 

phichit+chu: Sara Crispino! Michele is pissed!

 

seung-gillee: oh

 

seung-gillee: comment

 

yuri-plisetsky: both her and her brother are so annoying

 

m_babicheva: Im still on the chat you know

 

yuri-plisetsky: who even invited you?

 

phichit+chu: i think it was either me or victor on the first day...oops

 

yuri-plisetsky: come to torment me here too mila?

 

m_babicheva: be quiet yura. dont badmouth my gf or ill practice lifts on u again :)

 

yuri-plisetsky: nO

 

leo_dli: ?

 

m_babicheva: yuriliftingpractice.mov

 

leo_dli: lmao yuri!

 

phichit+chu: HAHA

 

seung-gillee: comment

 

yuri-plisetsky: you four shut up.

 

m_babicheva: its just revenge yura :)

 

m_babicheva: if i catch u again we're having extended practice AND blackmail from me

 

yuri-plisetsky: what kind of dirt do you have on me? im perfect

 

m_babicheva: example one:

 

m_babicheva: fourthgraderecordersolo.mov

 

yuri-plisetsky: FUCK YOU 

 

m_babicheva: <3 love u too yura

 

phichit+chu: aw yuri! ur so cute! ur hair was so short too!

 

leo_dli: yikes...that screeching is terrible...no offense

 

seung-gillee: comment

 

yuri-plisetsky: i hate all of you. im leaving

 

phichit+chu: except you cant rant to mila, so where will you go?

 

leo_dli: the only acceptable phichit roast :0

 

yuri-plisetsky: .......

 

seung-gillee: comment


	6. "IM A TRUST FUND BABY YOU CAN TRUST ME"

kenjirou-m posted a photo: um..... #wow #victuuri

 

57 Comments

 

leo_dli: minami where are you?

 

kenjirou-m: yuuri's....

 

+guanghongji+: i wanna see yuuri again! no fair

 

leo_dli: well its easier for you than for me, but still....

 

+guanghongji+: well we still have christmas with him right?

 

leo_dli: can't 

 

+guanghongji+: what? why not?

 

leo_dli: I have to go to my grandmother's house in DC

 

+guanghongji+: oh.....

 

lin_mandy_mindy: @leo_dli: im in DC rn but i have to leave for christmas :(

 

leo_dli: @lin_mandy_mindy aw that sucks. holiday travelling is the worst. good luck!

 

aaro_nii: LIN

 

eli-zazzy: LIN

 

katsu-kiss: LIN

 

troph!gh: LIN

 

lolly-pika: LIN

 

phichit+chu: LIN

 

lin_mandy_mindy: @phichit+chu !!!

 

phichit+chu: @lin_mandy_mindy !!!!

 

ursi-katali: @kenjirou-m WHY IS VICTOR TAPED TO THE WALL?????

 

kenjirou-m: @ursi-katali ok so i go into the kitchen to get some water for his definite hangover l8r and i come back to see this. no explanation was given but i feel so bad for yuuri! :0

 

izzy-beetle: @kenjirou-m: does that mean he taped himself up there?????

 

kenjirou-m: @izzy-beetle: i guess??? idk. @yuuri_katsuki explain

 

yuuri_katsuki: i dont know either

 

hufflepuff-lutz: the sheer power of alcohol????

 

yuuri_katsuki: @hufflepuff-lutz or just the sheer power of Victor Nikiforov

 

 

 

Damp noodles

 

Sent 12-7-15 at 15:33

 

phichit+chu: who named this damp noodles lol

 

christophe-gc: ur mom

 

leo_dli: what are you twelve?

 

christophe-gc: no twelve year olds arent old enough silly

 

phichit+chu: you disgust me

 

chritophe-gc: oh so you've discussed me?

 

leo_dli: IM A TRUST FUND BABY YOU CAN TRUST ME

 

phichit+chu: .....

 

phichit+chu: ?

 

christophe-gc: ?????

 

chrsitophe-gc: i mean smooth pickup line but ?????

 

leo_dli: so that....wasnt a reference?

 

christophe-gc: no? not intentionally, that is

 

leo_dli: oh

 

seung-gillee: comment

 

yuri-plisetsky: @ CHULANONT CAN YOU PLEASE EXPLAIN TO HIM THE CORRECT WAY TO RESPOND

 

yuri-plisetsky: THIS IS GETTING OUT OF HAND

 

phichit+chu: Seung-gil

 

seung-gillee: yes?

 

phichit+chu: can you....maybe...say something else?

 

seung-gillee: ....ok

 

phichit+chu: perfect! there you go yurio! all better!

 

yuri-plisetsky: pft thanks grandma

 

phichit+chu: im married to ur grandpa now???

 

yuri-plisetsky: NO BACK OFF

 

seung-gillee: oh

 

phichit+chu: sorry yurio, his pirozhkis are just irr-es-ist-ab-le

 

yuri-plisetsky: FUCK YOU

 

seung-gillee: ....ok

 

phichit+chu: ....

 

yuri-plisetsky: ....this just got awkward....

 

phichit+chu: seung-gil u were just repeating urself right????

 

yuri-plisetsky: pls say he was

 

seung-gillee: ....ok

 

phichit+chu: ......

 

yuri-plisetsky changed chat name to "smells like death"

 

phichit+chu: yurio stop being so fukcign emo

 

yuri-plisetsky: bleach is my favorite beverage

 

phichit+chu: yeah we get it ur edgy

 

phichit+chu: now could u pls do something productive

 

yuri-plisetsky: what abt u

 

phichit+chu: unlike you, I am an adult

 

yuri-plisetsky: so??? all the more reason to act responsible :)

 

phichit+chu: screw u

 

seung-gillee: ....ok

 

phichit+chu: ....

 

phichit+chu: ....we'll work on that....

 

 

Sent 12-7-15 at 16:07

 

yuuri_katsuki: leo

 

leo_dli: yes?

 

yuuri_katsuki: did something happen?

 

leo_dli: hm...only phichit becoming yurio's grandma

 

yuuri_katsuki: what?.....actually, never mind, thats not important

 

yuuri_katsuki: did something happen with Guang-Hong? at all?

 

leo_dli: not that I can recall....

 

yuuri_katsuki: ....I.....are you sure?

 

leo_dli: yes?

 

leo_dli: why?

 

yuuri_katsuki: oh um, an hour ago he called me on the phone for no particular reason...

 

yuuri_katsuki: ....and we're talking and its fine up until Victor comes in the room screaming carols like the absolute nut he is

 

yuuri_katsuki: and Guang-Hong just breaks down....

 

yuuri_katsuki: we're still on the phone and he's still crying....

 

leo_dli: did he say anything????

 

yuuri_katsuki: he wont speak

 

leo_dli: did victor give him alcohol? he may be underage but i know for a fact he has low tolerance

 

yuuri_katsuki: victor's banned from handling alcohol for awhile...so hes taken up on eggnog already....

 

leo_dli: ew. maybe GH is afraid of eggnog. i know i am.

 

yuuri_katsuki: i think its more serious than that leo

 

leo_dli: should i try talking to him?

 

yuuri_katsuki: yeah. i have to go anyways. call him. hearing your voice might calm him down.

 

leo_dli: alright. thanks yuuri

 

yuuri_katsuki: bye leo

 

 

Voicemail left 12-7-15 at 16:18

 

Leo: Guang-Hong

 

Leo: Are you okay?

 

Leo: ....call me back when you want to talk

 

Leo: or text me. Either's fine really

 

Leo: okay?

 

Leo: Bye.

 

 

Guang-Hong rubbed his eyes as he listened to the voicemail again. It was nice to hear Leo's voice, as Yuuri had said over the phone, but it didn't help his case. Did Leo really not know what was wrong with him? Guang-Hong knew he was a little dense, but perhaps more so than he originally thought. He wanted Leo besides him again, to hold him and make it all better. He wanted to spend Christmas with him, all wrapped up in sweaters and eating cookies while they unwrap presents and sing carols horribly out of tune. He wanted to kiss him hello at the airport, a daring move he had yet to try, and then again when he had to leave. It had already been a month since they'd last seen each other, and Guang-Hong wasn't sure now when they'd meet again.

 

The only meeting time he'd planned was Christmas, but that was a dud now, so when would it be? Springtime, when their schedules are more cleared up skating-wise? Summer, when Guang-Hong goes to train in Canada? Next year, when the next skating season begins? When they'd first started dating, Guang-Hong knew things would come up and they'd be apart for awhile, but never had he anticipated that it'd hurt so much.

 

He stopped the voicemail and sat there in silence. Leo's voice had worry strung through it. Leo cared for him, that Guang-Hong knew, but Leo couldn't solve every problem he had. Yuuri hadn't been very helpful earlier on the phone, plus he went against Guang-Hong's wishes for Leo to not be alerted of his feelings. Guang-Hong needed to rant. He opened the app that was the very center of his issues and clicked on Phichit's profile. Hopefully Phichit would be understanding.

 

 

Sent 12-7-15 at 17:40

 

+guanghongji+: Hey Phichit

 

phichit+chu: Guang-Hong are you alright? Yuuri told me you were crying on the phone

 

+guanghongji+: yeah...

 

phichit+chu: ...is it because of what Leo said earlier?

 

+guanghongji+: yeah

 

phichit+chu: I'm sorry :(

 

phichit+chu: I know how you feel

 

+guanghongji+: ....you have an idiot boyfriend?

 

phichit+chu: ....maybe....

 

+guanghongji+: who???

 

phichit+chu: if i tell you then you HAVE to talk to Leo

 

phichit+chu: figure out ur problems ok?

 

+guanghongji+: .....okay....

 

phichit+chu: perfect! ok i'm dating..................

 

phichit+chu: my pillow!

 

+guanghongji+: phichit

 

phichit+chu: yeah?

 

+guanghongji+: spill. now.

 

phichit+chu: fiiiiiinnnnneeeeee

 

phichit+chu: its Seung-gil

 

+guanghongji+: i knew you too were more than friends!

 

phichit+chu: yay! u used an exclamation point! 

 

phichit+chu: are you feeling better?

 

+guanghongji+: a little....ill talk to leo

 

phichit+chu: good luck!

 

phichit+chu: oh and dont tell anyone abt SG and I ok?

 

phichit+chu: .....

 

phichit+chu: Guang-Hong???

 

 

Sent 12-7-15 at 18:08

 

+guanghongji+: sorry

 

+guanghongji+: for missing your call i mean

 

+guanghongji+: sorry

 

leo_dli: are you alright? Yuuri said you were crying

 

+guanghongji+: I was earlier...not anymore

 

leo_dli: ...do you want to talk about it?

 

+guanghongji+: I dont know what to say

 

leo_dli: well take your time. im not leaving you.

 

+guanghongji+: you say that, yet

 

+guanghongji+: here we are

 

leo_dli: ?

 

+guanghongji+: i hate you

 

leo_dli: oh

 

+guanghongji+: i mean not really

 

+guanghongji+: i mean i kinda do

 

+guanghongji+: but not in the way you think I do

 

leo_dli: do you want me to pretend to understand?

 

+guanghongji+: i should just explain myself i guess

 

+guanghongji+: long story short: you're such an idiot

 

leo_dli: oh

 

+guanghongji+: you and Victor have the same memory

 

leo_dli: hes way more forgetful than me

 

+guanghongji+: really?

 

leo_dli: ....probably

 

+guanghongji+: what was the first thing you did on Instagram today

 

leo_dli: I...commented on Minami's pic

 

leo_dli: ..............oh

 

leo_dli: i fucked up

 

+guanghongji+: :/

 

leo_dli: imsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorry

 

+guanghongji+: I suppose it can't be helped

 

+guanghongji+: long-distance relationships are too hard

 

+guanghongji+: in a year this whole mess will be over

 

leo_dli: ...do you want to break up

 

+guanghongji+: you want to break up with me????

 

leo_dli: NO

 

leo_dli: i just thought you were suggesting that!

 

+guanghongji+: what?

 

+guanghongji+: you mean you already forgot?

 

leo_dli: forgot what?

 

+guanghongji+: ...you really do have Victor's memory

 

+guanghongji+: last year I mad a promise

 

+guanghongji+: I said I'd move to America after high school to be with you

 

leo_dli: oh....did you really mean it?

 

+guanghongji+: while I admit 16 year old me was a little too optimistic, I meant it just as much then as I do now

 

leo_dli: thank god

 

leo_dli: i love you, you know

 

+guanghongji+: i love you too

 

leo_dli: do you have time for a call?

 

+guanghongji+: for you? of course

 

 

smells like death

 

Sent 12-7-15 at 19:00

 

phichit+chu: ....yurio stop being so emo

 

v-nikiforov: silly Phichit! 

 

v-nikiforov: have you ever seen an emo wear as much leopard print as he does?

 

v-nikiforov: i think he's just edgy, not emo

 

phichit+chu: good point

 

yuri-plisetsky: hey i can be emo if i want to

 

yuri-plisetsky: ...not that I want to, but still...

 

v-nikiforov: ok yura :) whatever you say son :)

 

yuri-plisetsky: ugh

 

yuri-plisetsky: how's Katsudon

 

v-nikiforov: traumatized

 

v-nikiforov: he's never had to deal with a kid bawling on the phone before

 

yuri-plisetsky: ???? who????

 

v-nikiforov: jealous? 

 

yuri-plisetsky: ???

 

v-nikiforov: worried we found another kid to replace you?

 

yuri-plisetsky: shut up. who was it?

 

v-nikiforov: so mean yura~

 

v-nikiforov: fine. it was Guang-Hong

 

phichit+chu: oh yeah....yuuri told me all abt that

 

yuri-plisetsky: HE TOLD YOU BUT NOT ME?

 

yuri-plisetsky: IM HIS SON

 

v-nikiforov: <3 love you yura ε>

 

yuri-plisetsky: wtf how you turn the heart

 

v-nikiforv: its a secret~

 

phichit+chu: epsilon.

 

v-nikiforov: well i would chastise you phichit, but judging by your instagram you really dont know how to keep things private

 

yuri-plisetsky: what about you mister "im going to leave without telling yuri but am still going to document my entire life in japan so he can find me easily"?

 

v-nikiforov: i have a long name

 

phichit+chu: yeah! and if I do recall, your relationship with your protege isnt so private either, as demonstrated at the Cup of China!

 

phichit+chu: Mister "ill tackle him on the ice in a hug/kiss combo on international television for the whole world to see"!!

 

v-nikiforov: i have two very long names

 

yuri-plisetsky: anyway, ji was crying?

 

v-nikiforov: i started singing jingle bell rock and he just bursts into tears! 

 

yuri-plisetsky: that song sucks anyway lmao i would cry too

 

phichit+chu: he was crying because Leo cant come to christmas

 

phichit+chu: and he wont be seeing him for awhile

 

yuri-plisetsky: oh

 

v-nikiforov: thats sad :'(

 

v-nikiforov: ill appreciate my yuuri while it lasts~

 

phichit+chu: "while it lasts"?????

 

phichit+chu: are you planning on leaving him???

 

phichit+chu: I DONT CARE IF YOURE VICTOR NIKIFOROV

 

phichit+chu: ILL STILL KICK YOUR ASS IF YOU HURT HIM

 

yuri-plisetsky: if you leave him ill kill you

 

yuri-plisetsky: if you come back to russia ill personally dropkick you back to Japan

 

v-nikiforov: if i do recall correctly, you seemed to thing different not too long ago yurio!

 

yuri-plisetsky: people change. though, i guess youre an exception

 

yuri-plisetsky: youre still a selfish man victor

 

yuri-plisetsky: katsudon deserves better than you

 

phichit+chu: thats a bit harsh yurio. 

 

phichit+chu: victor, just dont hurt him, okay?

 

v-nikiforov: the most I'll do is scratch up his back

 

phichit+chu: ....

 

phichit+chu: o.o

 

yuri-plisetsky: YOURE FUCKING GROSS

 

yuri-plisetsky removed v-nikiforov from the chat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hmu on my tumblr @hotdiggitygay for more yoi and various other things


	7. "the discord returns!"

smells like death

 

Sent 12-7-15 at 22:40

 

phichit+chu: *)3(*

 

phichit+chu: fish face!!!!

 

jjleroy!15: it looks like the 3 is a cheerleader

 

phichit+chu: ?

 

yuri-plisetsky: i guess JJ is right

 

yuri-plisetsky: for once

 

christophe-gc: *** pompoms?

 

jjleroy!15: yeah!

 

jjleroy!15: they're cheering for me!

 

jjleroy!15: ggoooooOOOOOOOO JJ STYLE!

 

yuri-plisetsky: shut your fuck

 

leo_dli: :O)

 

phichit+chu: it looks like that one butterfly!

 

yuri-plisetsky: are you high

 

phichit+chu: being on this gc makes me wish i was

 

phichit+chu: youtube.com/dhmis3

 

yuri-plisetsky: fine

 

phichit+chu: leo are you and gh ok

 

leo_dli: oh yeah we are

 

leo_dli: we decided to meet for new years :)

 

phichit+chu: lol have fun with travel traffic 

 

leo_dli: u should tell gh that

 

phichit+chu: WAIT UR NOT COMING TO YUURIS???

 

leo_dli: we're going to nyc!

 

phichit+chu: LUCKY TAKE ME W YOU

 

leo_dli: no thnks

 

phichit+chu: :(

 

seung-gillee: you'd rather go to NYC?

 

seung-gillee: I can arrange that

 

phichit+chu: WAIT RLLY

 

phichit+chu: YOURE THE BEST SG!!!!

 

leo_dli: arent you going to yuuri's?

 

phichit+chu: until the 27th

 

phichit+chu: then im free

 

seung-gillee: we can go on the 28th and leave the 3rd

 

phichit+chu: YES!!!

 

leo_dli: not to be rude, but why Seung-gil?

 

leo_dli: how do you even know each other?

 

phichit+chu: ....through a mutual friend...

 

leo_dli: ?

 

+guanghongji+: what he means to say is they clicked

 

+guanghongji+: metaphorically and physically

 

+guanghongji+: ;)

 

phichit+chu: I HATE YOU

 

phichit+chu: WORST. FRIEND. EVER

 

leo_dli: oh

 

leo_dli: sorry Seung-gil

 

seung-gillee: eh

 

phichit+chu: GH IF I SEE U IN NYC IM GONNA SHOVE U IN FRONT OF THE SUBWAY TRAIN

 

+guanghongji+: lol have fun in jail 

 

+guanghongji+: i know that my leo will save me :)

 

+guanghongji+: he is a fierce lion!

 

leo_dli: ...i dont really live up to my name...

 

phichit+chu: ofc u do

 

phichit+chu: after all, you're definitely the king of his jungle ;)))))))

 

leo_dli: i dont care if i go to jail for murder

 

leo_dli: PHICHIT IM GONNA KILL YOU

 

yuri-plisetsky: that was the worst pun ever. get him.

 

+guanghongji+: my face is red

 

+guanghongji+: very very red

 

kenjirou-m: i relate 

 

+guanghongji+: i feel violated

 

phichit+chu: violate dat ass GH!

 

leo_dli: sTOP

 

yuri-plisetsky: yuck

 

yuri-plisetsky: not worse than those two fools though

 

yuri-plisetsky: at least that old mad perv is gone

 

v-nikiforov: u called?

 

yuri-plisetsky: WHO LET YOU BACK IN WTFFFFF

 

 

yuri-plisetsky removed v-nikiforov from the chat

 

 

yuuri_katsuki added v-nikiforov to the chat

 

 

yuuri_katsuki: yurio be nice

 

yuri-plisetsky: FUCK YOU TOO

 

v-nikiforov: thats my job

 

yuuri_katsuki: I-

 

 

yuri-plisetsky removed v-nikiforov and yuuri_katsuki from the chat

 

 

yuri-plisetsky: we should be safe now

 

yuri-plisetsky: itll be quiet now

 

phichit+chu: not quite yet....

 

 

phichit+chu removed yuri-plisetsky from the chat

 

 

yuri-plisetsky posted a photo: I hate all of you #gotohell #imstillgonnakickurass #GPF

 

90 Comments

 

phichit+chu: Ill add you back if you let me win @ GPF

 

yuri-plisetsky: fuck the gc GPF Gold here i come

 

phichit+chu: such vulgar language yurio *0*

 

phichit+chu: in front of fans nonetheless 

 

opy!katesik: I still love u @yuri-plisetsky marry me

 

yuri-plisetsky: @opy!katesik where'd you get the idea of idol marrying fans from? Victor? go stan him not me if u into that

 

leo_dli: so mean! @ophy!katesik stan me instead I'm good looking, single, and a good skater!

 

opy!katesik: sorry @leo_dli yuri is still the one for me

 

+guanghongji+: looks like @leo_dli is single >_>

 

+guanghongji+: good like with that...

 

phichit+chu: oh shit leo!

 

phichit+chu: kiss nyc bye bye baby!

 

leo_dli: i fucked up twice in one day???

 

leo_dli: !!!!!!!!!!!

 

lady_dli_wife: @leo_dli what happened? 

 

leo_dli: uh

 

phichit+chu: @lady_dli_wife he played ji-ji again!

 

lady_dli_wife: so you ARE dating????? @leo_dli @+guanghongji+

 

+guanghongji+: @lady_dli_wife i guess not anymore haha...

 

leo_dli: shit

 

leo_dli: @+guanghongji+ waiiiiiiitttttttttttttttttttttttt

 

phichit+chu: desperate much?

 

leo_dli: i made him cry earlier its not happening again

 

peny-piskia-ol: @leo_dli WHAT DID U DO TO MY POOR SON????????

 

phichit+chu: @peny-piskia-ol he turned him down for christmas...they never get to see each other tho so GH got upset

 

leo_marry_me: wait so @leo_dli is a gay? NUUUU MARRY MEEEEEE

 

kiki_dli: NUUUU I WANT HIM !!!!!!!1111111

 

lili-nut: im blocking all these thirsty straight ppl

 

lili-nut: @leo_dli u should too lmao

 

leo_dli: @lili-nut thats the least of my problems rn

 

leo_dli: GH IM S O R R Y

 

+guanghongji+: fine. apologize over the phone. ill wait.

 

leo_dli: i wont mess up again!

 

phichit+chu: hahaa unlikely 

 

 

smells like death

 

 

phichit+chu renamed chat name to "skate palz"

 

 

Sent 12-7-15 at  


 

leo_dli: GH IT HAPPENEF

 

leo_dli: IM A FUKN PROPHET

 

+guanghongji+: so you can remember skate palz but not a conversation from earlier?

 

leo_dli: B QIET I SUFFER

 

phichit+chu: confused but okey

 

christophe-gc: kte plaz if barcjiloma

 

phichit+chu: ?

 

christophe-gc: w idf ths gayde medrrage ifs bajfiomna

 

leo_dli: is that even english

 

+guanghongji+: well its not chinese...

 

phichit+chu: thats definitely not german

 

christophe-gc: iacchb lbied diabch yubbi

 

phichit+chu: ?

 

leo_dli: are you drunk

 

seung_gillee: no comment

 

 

phichit+chu added yuri-plisetsky to the chat

 

 

phichit+chu: get im

 

yuri-plisetsky: thSTA WORSE WTFFF

 

phichit+chu: <3

 

seung-gillee: is that for me or plisetsky

 

phichit+chu: both?

 

yuri-plisetsky: creepy

 

christophe-gc: therreeezsummm

 

yuri-plisetsky: BACK OFF YOU DRUNK FUCK

 

leo_dli: eeeeeee

 

leo_dli: phichit do u like eggnog

 

phichit+chu: hell no!

 

leo_dli: ITS GOOD

 

+guanghongji+: the discord returns!

 

 

+guanghongji+renamed chat to: Food Wars:Part 2

 

 

seung-gillee: copyright

 

+guanghongji+: shit ur right i just googled it

 

+guanghongji+: "Not associated with Food Wars the anime"

 

+guanghongji+: k?

 

leo_dli: twitter poll here i come!

 

 

Leo de la Iglesia made a poll: OPINION ON EGGNOG (IM GONNA WIN AGAIN PHICHIT)

 

 

Food Wars: Part 2

 

Sent 12-7-15 at 23:43

 

leo_dli: and now we wait :)

 

phichit+chu: im boarding a plane rn

 

phichit+chu: ill see how this goes down 2morrow :)

 

phichit+chu: bye guys! xoxoxoxo

 

leo_dli: lol bye loser

 

+guanghongji+: bye! (im rooting for the bf so bye loser)

 

yuri-plisetsky: lucky. i have another hour at the airport :/

 

christophe-gc: BERTUYYYYE SCUU 2 GPF

 

yuri-plisetsky: shUT UP

 

 

yuuri_katsuki posted a photo: and now we wait :/ #planesaretheworst #GPFherewecome #okwithyouhere

 

 

v-nikiforov made a group chat

 

 

v-nikiforov renamed chat to "GPF"

 

Sent 12-8-15 at 01:03

 

v-nikiforov: hi!

 

yuri-plisetsky: really Victor

 

yuuri_katsuki: hm

 

yuuri_katsuki: strange 

 

jjleroy!15: a new chat? Ofc the king is so popular!!!

 

yuri-plisetsky: dont make me barf

 

christophe-gc: i was hammered earlier :)

 

yuri-plisetsky: yes we fucking know you were

 

yuuri-katsuki: does that mean all the GPF competitors are on here?

 

v-nikiforov: yep :)

 

christophe-gc: where'd you get Otabek on here? he wont follow or even talk to me:/

 

v-nikiforov: being world champion helps ;)

 

v-nikiforov: soon my yuuri will know!

 

yuuri_katsuki: lets just think about the GPF for now...

 

v-nikiforov: of course my katsudon!

 

yuri-plisetsky: i feel like you two are going to be especially bad in Barcelona....

 

v-nikiforov: well, for starters, gay marriage is legal there!

 

v-nikiforov: oh my 

 

v-nikiforov: yuuri just choked on his drink :)

 

christophe-gc: youre such a sadist

 

v-nikiforov: and you're not?

 

christophe-gc: touché Nikiforov

 

yuri-plisetsky: im taking a nap. bye.

 

v-nikiforov: sweet dreams yura~

 

yuri-plisetsky: see you in hell dad

 

v-nikiforov: :)

 

christophe-gc: can i be the godfather

 

v-nikiforov: no. youre the pervy drunk uncle

 

christophe-gc: ill take what i can get

 

v-nikiforov: and phichit is still grandma?

 

v-nikiforov: hes my mama i guess

 

christophe-gc: and ur yuuri's daddy ;)

 

v-nikiforov: reverse

 

christophe-gc: kinky ;)

 

 

otabek-altin deleted "GPF"


	8. "shut up grandma"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Despite having school and being totally asleep for 90% of the day, I managed to update!

leo_dli posted a photo: AHEM @phichit+chu KNEW IT #eggnogwins #iwinagain #suckitphichit

 

280 Comments

 

phichit+chu: ugh

 

+guanghongji+: sorry phichit, this battle goes to leo!

 

leodli: ;)

 

kenjirou-m: ew why did everyone vote for eggnog? its gross!

 

phichit+chu: EXACTLY

 

leo_dli: well, sorry to burst your bubbles, but the popular vote wins!

 

phichit+chu: not in your country it doesnt...

 

leo_dli: oh

 

+guanghongji+: weeellll looks like Eggnog Wins is the new chat name :)

 

phichit+chu: i actually hate you

 

+guanghongji+: k

 

 

Food Wars: Part 2

 

+guanghongji+ changed chat name to "Eggnog Wins!"

 

Sent 12-8-15 at 07:11

 

yuri-plisetsky: eggnog sucks

 

yuri-plisetsky: it tastes like piss

 

yuri-plisetsky: and it looks like victor

 

v-nikiforov: its good yura!

 

christophe-gc: succ

 

yuri-plisetsky: i

 

leo_dli: the discourse continues

 

phichit+chu: chris whats ur opinion on the nasty liquid death

 

christophe-gc: eh

 

christophe-gc: im flexible

 

christophe-gc: ;)

 

yuri-plisetsky: WERE ICE SKATERS OFC WERE FLEXIBLE

 

yuri-plisetsky: AND NO ONE ASKED ANYWAY

 

jjleroy!15: yuri's flexible ;)

 

yuuri_katsuki: stop harassing minors!

 

+guanghongji+: yet u say nothing when leo toys around with my feelings :'(

 

+guanghongji+: this is favoritism

 

yuuri_katsuki: .

 

phichit+chu: yIKES thank god im not in yuuris position

 

christophe-gc: position

 

phichit+chu: I WANT HIM BANNED

 

v-nikiforov: all in favor of banning Chris say "I"

 

phichit+chu: I

 

yuri-plisetsky: IIIIIIII

 

v-nikiforov: I

 

leo_dli: I

 

+guanghongji+: I

 

yuuri_katsuki: sorry.....I

 

christophe-gc: WHAT DID I EVER DO TO YOU

 

seung-gillee: I

 

christophe-gc: THIS IS UNFAIR

 

m_babicheva: I

 

christophe-gc: YOU CAME BACK JUST TO KICK ME OFF

 

v-nikiforov: sorry Chris...majority rules

 

yuri-plisetsky: YES

 

yuri-plisetsky: ANY LAST WORDS BITCH?

 

christophe-gc: ....

 

christophe-gc: succ

 

v-nikiforov removed christophe-gc from the chat

 

phichit+chu: haaaaalellujah haaaallelujah haaallelujah halleluuuuuuuujah

 

yuri-plisetsky: are you actually singing shrek rn

 

phichit+chu: leonard cohen is #iconic

 

yuri-plisetsky: dont even speak to me. john cale killed that shit

 

leo_dli: i give cohen credit for making the song, but his voice is horrendous 

 

yuri-plisetsky: -Actual music ho Leo de la Iglesia

 

phichit+chu: ugh discord is making me die

 

yuri-plisetsky: u and ur terrible music taste can go to hell

 

phichit+chu: and baby id invite you but looks like youre already there ;)

 

seung-gillee: plisetsky is the size of an infant

 

yuri-plisetsky: YOURE LIKE 7 CM TALLER THAN ME

 

jjleroy!15: maybe he was referring only to a certain part of your body ;)

 

yuri-plisetsky: FUCK YOU

 

phichit+chu: lmao sg u actually roasted someone

 

phichit+chu: im v proud

 

yuri-plisetsky: I THINK I LIKED HIM BETTER JUST SAYING COMMENT ALL THE TIME

 

phichit+chu: nah son this is a new era

 

leo_dli: chris is gone, sg is sassy, and best of all...eggnog is accepted!

 

phichit+chu: fuck eggnog

 

seung-gillee: .....ok

 

yuri-plisetsky: i take it back 

 

seung-gillee: .....viva la revolution

 

 

Sent 12-8-15 at 09:22

 

christophe-gc: let me back in the chat

 

yuri-plisetsky: over my dead body

 

christophe-gc: that can be arranged

 

Sent 12-8-15 at 09:25

 

yuri-plisetsky: yuck

 

m_babicheva: what yura?

 

yuri-plisetsky: giacometti

 

m_babicheva: ah

 

m_babicheva: but he's gone so????

 

yuri-plisetsky: creepyho.png

 

m_babicheva: lmao yura

 

m_babicheva: good luck :)

 

yuri-plisetsky: mILA DONT ABANDON MEE

 

 

Eggnog Wins!

 

yuri-plisetsky changed chat name to "lmao bye chris"

 

phichit+chu: wow

 

phichit+chu: yurio

 

yuri-plisetsky: ?

 

phichit+chu: u in spain yet?

 

yuri-plisetsky: ya

 

phichit+chu: wanna grab a bite to eat?

 

yuri-plisetsky: .....k

 

leo_dli: when ur friends make plans right in front of u :/

 

phichit+chu: WERE IN SPAIN

 

leo_dli: :/

 

+guanghongji+: its ok leo. wanna facetime?

 

leo_dli: ok!

 

v-nikiforov: when ur friends make plans right in front of u :/

 

yuuri_katsuki: i exist you know

 

v-nikiforov: oh yeah! ur my best friend yuuri!

 

v-nikiforov: best pal

 

v-nikiforov: bestiest buddies

 

v-nikiforov: great mates

 

v-nikiforov: excellent chums

 

leo_dli: does he have a mute button

 

yuuri_katsuki: all i see is "block and report" :/

 

v-nikiforov: JK YUURI

 

v-nikiforov: LOVE U

 

leo_dli: desperate 

 

+guanghongji+: !!!! pay attention to me !!!

 

leo_dli: ok. gtg guys the bf is needy :)

 

v-nikiforov: "needy" ;)

 

yuri-plisetsky: ITS LIKE CHRIS 2.0 STOP

 

phichit+chu: actually...its kind of quiet...

 

v-nikiforov: isnt there usually more screaming and innuendos?

 

phichit+chu: yeah....

 

v-nikiforov: lets figure that out later. now is time for the pre-gpf skate palz celebration :)

 

yuri-plisetsky: stop

 

 

 

Sent 12-8-15 at 10:16

 

m_babicheva: hi :)

 

sara-crispino: hi!

 

m_babicheva: how r u?

 

sara-crispino: ok....mickey and emil have been annoying though...

 

m_babicheva: emil?

 

sara-crispino: the czech skater @ rostelecom cup

 

m_babicheva: oh...whats he like?

 

sara-crispino: really sweet!

 

sara-crispino: ...and flirtatious...

 

m_babicheva: ur taken tho :))))

 

sara-crispino: but its not just me

 

sara-crispino: hes also taken a liking to Mickey :)))))))

 

m_babicheva: wow

 

sara-crispino: hes really just a big puppy. so cute. would be blessed to have him as an in-law ;)

 

m_babicheva: awww

 

sara-crispino: hes an angel...really...he looks much older than 18 though....

 

m_babicheva: a beard that big at 18 is something to be proud of

 

sara-crispino: oh hes pretty proud of it

 

sara-crispino: has anyone else talked to him?

 

m_babicheva: not to my knowledge...

 

sara-crispino: a shame...poor guy could use some more friends...

 

m_babicheva: ill look into it...

 

sara-crispino: wonderful!

 

sara-crispino: now, how are you?

 

m_babicheva: wanna find out??? ;)

 

sara-crispino: hmmmmm??? ;)

 

m_babicheva: call me

 

 

lmao bye chris

 

Sent 12-8-15 at 12:54

 

jjleroy!15: you guys have gone a long time without chatting

 

jjleroy!15: wow

 

phichit+chu: its too quiet w/o chris

 

phichit+chu: not that we want him back...

 

jjleroy!15: maybe we just need a new member!

 

yuri-plisetsky: no

 

phichit+chu: aw it could be fun yuri! the more the merrier!

 

phichit+chu: minus chris

 

yuri-plisetsky: OR we could just tell all the inactive ppl to talk more

 

kenjirou-m: i forgot i wasnt just an observer and am actually allowed to talk ///>//>///

 

phichit+chu: awwww minami~

 

phichit+chu: so cute~

 

seung-gillee: im cute

 

phichit+chu: yup :))))

 

phichit+chu: so is yurio!

 

yuri-plisetsky: im not cute. im manly as hell.

 

yuri-plisetsky: but what do we do?

 

m_babicheva: i have an idea!

 

yuri-plisetsky: oh so u finally came back?

 

m_babicheva: temporarily

 

phichit+chu: what is is mila?

 

m_babicheva: u need a new member right?

 

yuri-plisetsky: no

 

phichit+chu: yes

 

m_babicheva: perfect! Emil Nekola needs more friends! add him!

 

yuri-plisetsky: ...really...that guy?

 

yuri-plisetsky: he follows the Crispinos around like a lost dog

 

m_babicheva: just TRY ok?

 

phichit+chu: did ur gf set u up?

 

m_babicheva: ;)

 

m_babicheva: gtg

 

m_babicheva: bae awaits!

 

 

m_babicheva added emil-nekola to the chat

 

phichit+chu: yay! another cult member!

 

yuri-plisetsky: youre scarier than i originally thought

 

phichit+chu: and you're more kitten-like than i thought!

 

yuri-plisetsky: shut it

 

emil-nekola: hi

 

phichit+chu: hi!

 

yuri-plisetsky: un

 

emil-nekola: what is this?

 

phichit+chu: mila said u were nice 

 

phichit+chu: so ur stuck with us now

 

emil-nekola: oh okay

 

yuri-plisetsky: what a fucking liar

 

yuri-plisetsky; youre here because we needed a replacement for chris

 

emil-nekola: either is fine :)

 

yuri-plisetsky: what a tool…

 

phichit+chu: dont be rude!

 

phichit+chu: @+guanghongji+ @leo_dli come one guys

 

leo_dli: hi

 

+guanghongji+: 你们好 

 

phichit+chu: english

 

+guanghongji+: hello!

 

emil-nekola: hi!

 

leo_dli: youre from czech republic right?

 

emil-nekola: yes

 

+guanghongji+: cool

 

phichit+chu: where the hell is yuuri

 

phichit+chu: i mean i knew him and victor snuck out of the restaurant...

 

phichit+chu: but that was a while ago!

 

phichit+chu: @yuuri_katsuki @v-nikiforov

 

phichit+chu: u two are the parents come greet ur new family member

 

yuri-plisetsky: shut up grandma

 

phichit+chu: it happened!!!

 

emil-nekola: i am confused!

 

+guanghongji+: same!

 

yuri-plisetsky: all you need to know is...

 

yuri-plisetsky: 1: we fight a lot

 

yuri-plisetsky: 2: like everyones gay

 

yuri-plisetsky: 3: JJ, Seung-gil, Victor, and Chris were like the four horsemen of the annoying ppl apocalypse 

 

yuri-plisetsky: 4: we kicked Chris out tho so his replacement in that category is phichit by default

 

yuri-plisetsky: 5: this chat makes a lot of us want to drink clorox

 

phichit+chu: amen

 

leo_dli: he called you annoying

 

phichit+chu: at least he isnt a liar mr. de la iglesia

 

leo_dli: what have i lied about

 

phichit+chu: that eggnog is good and cheese whiz is the bane of evil

 

leo_dli: AGAIN WHERES THE LIES?

 

+guanghongji+: shots #fired

 

emil-nekola: you are a lively bunch!

 

yuri-plisetsky: you have no idea...

 

v-nikiforov: yay! new cousin!

 

emil-nekola: cousin? cool!

 

v-nikiforov: yura ur so mean! i am not annoying! tell him yuuri!

 

yuuri_katsuki: like leo, i only speak the truth...

 

v-nikiforov: told you!

 

yuuri_katsuki: ......so im going to shut up and leave now

 

yuri-plisetsky: #rekt

 

v-nikiforov: rude!

 

leo_dli: yikes

 

+guanghongji+: need me a freak like that

 

phichit+chu: idk GH i heard some preeetty freaky things abt lover boy over there~

 

leo_dli: rumors~

 

phichit+chu: fact~

 

emil-nekola: drama!

 

phichit+chu: indeed!

 

leo_dli: please phichit

 

leo_dli: the most #drama youve had is when your sister commented "bro u ugly" on ur insta 

 

+guanghongji+: I REMEMBER THAT OMG

 

phichit+chu: shut up!

 

phichit+chu: Ill have you know that she admitted to lying!

 

phichit+chu: im like a handsome prince!

 

leo_dli: i think "cute" would be more accurate but ok

 

+guanghongji+: whos cuter me phichit or minami

 

phichit+chu: jelly much?

 

+guanghongji+: @leo_dli answer

 

leo_dli: ofc its u dear :)

 

+guanghongji+: incorrect

 

leo_dli: ?

 

+guanghongji+: "im manly as hell" - mr russian fairy yuri plisetsky

 

yuri-plisetsky: SHUF UTPT

 

emil-nekola: you're funny

 

emil-nekola: but i have to go

 

emil-nekola: bye friends!

 

phichit+chu: aw bye emil!

 

leo_dli: bye!

 

+guanghongji+: bye!! :)

 

yuri-plisetsky: .....bye

 

phichit+chu: I KNEW U CARE

 

yuri-plisetsky: ...shut up...

 

 

Sent 12-8-16 at 14:30

 

yuri-plisetsky: ....

 

yuri-plisetsky: ....you were right...

 

yuri-plisetsky: ...thanks mila

 

m_babicheva: 100 for Mila, -10000 for yura!

 

m_babicheva: ready to give up yet?

 

yuri-plisetsky: see you in hell baba

 

m_babicheva: :)


	9. ~can you feel the love tonight~

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> short chapter bc im exhausted from school and sports. tbh im freaking out abt ep 10. i have to wait until 5 to watch it unfortunately...

lmao bye chris

 

Sent 12-9-15 at 11:57

 

+guanghongji+: do you think my teddy bear will get jealous if i cuddle leo more than him?

 

leo_dli: are you saying Mr. Cakepop only has a year to live?

 

+guanghongji+:D

 

+guanghongji+: if it means getting to cuddle you all night then yes

 

leo_dli: youre so embarrassing 

 

+guanghongji+: you love it

 

leo_dli: yeah....

 

kenjirou-m: you too are so cute! i need someone to cuddle me!

 

leo_dli: oh yeah were on gc arent we

 

leo_dli: shit

 

+guanghongji+: i did it intentionally 

 

+guanghongji+: just to brag abt how great me bf is~

 

leo_dli: (✿ꈍ。 ꈍ✿)

 

+guanghongji+: cutest emoji! 

 

+guanghongji+: this is u leo: ღღ•̥̑ .̮ •̥̑)

 

kenjirou-m: i want one!!!!!!!

 

+guanghongji+: this is minami: .ﾟ:;｡+。ε(ﾉ∀≦*)з｡+.｡ﾟ:

 

kenjirou-m: CUTE!!!!!

 

+guanghongji+: this is yuuri: (⌒_⌒;)

 

+guanghongji+: this is victor: (ृ ु ´͈ ᵕ `͈ )ु

 

+guanghongji+: this is chris: _へ__(‾◡◝ )>

 

+guanghongji+: and this is me when bae texts back: ◌⑅⃝*॰ॱᒄᵒᵏⁱ(꜆˘͈ෆ˘͈꜀)ᒄᵒᵏⁱ◌⑅⃝*॰ॱ

 

phichit+chu: wow! 

 

phichit+chu: im this one: (˵¯͒⌄¯͒˵)

 

leo_dli: wtf....it actually sorta looks like you....

 

phichit+chu: me @ leoji and victuuri: (˵¯͒⌄¯͒˵)

 

kenjirou-m: (灬╹ω╹灬)

 

+guanghongji+: this is seung-gil: ( 〃．．)

 

phichit+chu: BAE IS SO CUTE 

 

seung-gillee: ( 〃．．)

 

phichit+chu: eeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

 

+guanghongji+: this is JJ: (•́⌄•́๑)૭✧

 

+guanghongji+: this is yuri: =＾● ⋏ ●＾=

 

+guanghongji+: this is emil: ー( ´ ▽ ` )ﾉ

 

+guanghongji+: and this is mila: (　＾∇＾)

 

yuri-plisetsky: WHY AM I THE ONLY ANIMAL

 

v-nikiforov: maybe you should read that sentence again. then youll understand

 

yuri-plisetsky: FUCK OFF AT LEAST IM NOT A LOVESICK FOOL

 

+guanghongji+: thats literally all of us who are you trying to insult

 

yuri-plisetsky: ur mom

 

leo_dli: youre turning into chris. maybe we should block u too...

 

yuri-plisetsky: no

 

yuri-plisetsky: this gc is the only thing keeping me sane

 

v-nikiforov: i knew u loved us (ृ ु ´͈ ᵕ `͈ )ु

 

yuri-plisetsky: whatever

 

+guanghongji+: ~can you feel the love tonight~

 

yuri-plisetsky: that song sucks

 

+guanghongji+: do it. someone say it.

 

yuri-plisetsky: hoe dont do it

 

phichit+chu: succ

 

yuri-plisetsky: oh my god

 

 

leo_dli posted a photo: Baby it's cold outside~ღღ•̥̑ .̮ •̥̑)

 

457 Comments

 

+guanghongji+: u used the emoji! yay! ◌⑅⃝*॰ॱᒄᵒᵏⁱ(꜆˘͈ෆ˘͈꜀)ᒄᵒᵏⁱ◌⑅⃝*॰ॱ

 

leo_dli: ღღ•̥̑ .̮ •̥̑)

 

yuri-plisetsky: stop flirting

 

phichit+chu: i think its cute

 

phichit+chu: although it does make me a bit jealous...

 

crygh_victun: #drama

 

phichit+chu: i live for the drama!

 

leo_dli: we've been over this phichit. what. drama.

 

phichit+chu: horrible encounters

 

leo_dli: ?

 

phichit+chu: imagine getting up at 3 am in a foreign country to get some fresh air outside

 

phichit+chu: you're tired and wearing your Mickey Mouse pajamas, but you don't care

 

phichit+chu: you walk down past Yuuri's room, where he's yelling at Victor, but you say nothing

 

phichit+chu: you take an elevator with the worst music ever to the lobby and walk outside into the freezing cold in your thin pajamas

 

phichit+chu: its quiet, and no one is around. you can finally relax.

 

phichit+chu: and just as you turn the corner to walk down a small alley, you hear a noise

 

phichit+chu: you panic and hide yourself, fearing the worst

 

phichit+chu: and you peek around the corner ever so slightly...

 

phichit+chu: and you see your two friends kissing next to a dumpster

 

phichit+chu: and you scream, because you are scared to death

 

phichit+chu: and your friends scream and break apart

 

phichit+chu: and a hotel manager nearly calls the cops

 

phichit+chu: and you're scarred for life

 

leo_dli: screw you

 

liolo: so it was you @leo_dli and @+guanghongji ???

 

leo_dli: no comment

 

kenjirou-m: i have a vivid horror story!

 

kenjirou-m: i ate bread but it was wet

 

v-nikiforov: can you describe the taste of the wet bread?

 

kenjirou-m: wet.

 

v-nikiforov: its like im there

 

yuuri_katsuki: once victor sneaked up behind be when i was going downstairs to get water and he scared me, so i pushed him down the stairs 

 

leo_dli: lmao

 

v-nikiforov: i still have the scar on my leg! not! funny! yuuri!

 

phichit+chu: you two are wild

 

leo_dli: yep lmao

 

phichit+chu: you too mr " imma make out w/ my bf next to a dumpster at 3 am"

 

phichit+chu: why would you even do that in the first place

 

leo_dli: it was the last time we'd see each other for a while and we just happened to run into each other on the way out

 

phichit+chu: excuses excuses

 

leo-dli: ok but what abt the time you decked your ex's sister in the head with a basketball and she nearly got a concussion???

 

phichit+chu: NO ONE NEEDED TO KNOW IM SORRY @ EX'S SIS I DIDNT MEAN IT

 

v-nikiforov: if you could deck your ex rn would you?

 

phichit+chu: hell yeah

 

phichit+chu: my ex's sis was nice tho. she deserved a better sibling tbh

 

imin_j: @v-nikiforov do you even have an ex?

 

v-nikiforov: a few...yuuri never let me talk abt them thought...

 

yuuri_katsuki: because we had only just met each other then! all your advances were weird too.

 

v-nikiforov: maybe...but we're okay now, no?

 

leo_dli: no

 

phichit+chu: no

 

christophe-gc: no

 

eggplant-hat: yes!

 

v-nikiforov: i like @eggplant-hat better than all of you

 

yuuri_katsuki: ok

 

v-nikiforov: i didn't mean you!

 

 

lmao bye chris

 

Sent 12-9-15 at 14:10

 

yuri-plisetsky: ready to lose Chulanont?

 

phichit+chu: yes

 

phichit+chu: i mean no

 

yuri-plisetsky: you sound unsure

 

phichit+chu: well there's JJ, Chris, Yuuri, Otabek, and you...

 

phichit+chu: and i barely made it!

 

yuri-plisetsky: i would say something about katsudon barely making it too, but Victor's back now, so his game will be stronger again

 

phichit+chu: the fact that yuuri got fourth even without victor is astonishing

 

phichit+chu: though i can't say im too surprised. yuuri never needed victor before, and he made it into the gpf last year...

 

phichit+chu: still, they compliment each other

 

v-nikiforov: you ready to lose yura?

 

yuri-plisetsky: im not going down without a fight!

 

phichit+chu: me either! I'm going to make Thailand strong!

 

yuuri_katsuki: can we discuss this later?

 

yuri-plisetsky: huh? why?

 

yuuri_katsuki: i just

 

phichit+chu: of course yuuri!

 

phichit+chu: so yurio, how's life?

 

yuri-plisetsky: ? fine?

 

yuri-plisetsky: I had to leave grandpa alone again...

 

phichit+chu: aw im sorry :(

 

phichit+chu: when will you see him next?

 

yuri-plisetsky: i dont know

 

phichit+chu: im sorry yuri! 

 

phichit+chu: you know, sometimes i miss my family

 

phichit+chu: but then i remember "ice skating isn't just for me, but for my whole country."

 

phichit+chu: and that includes my family. they're proud of me, and so is everyone in my country, so i have to keep making them proud!

 

phichit+chu: thats how i go on. yuri, i bet you your grandpa is really proud of you. he'd want you to go on and make your mark on the world.

 

yuri-plisetsky: why are you making it sound like hes dead

 

phichit+chu: fine. ruin the moment. see if i care.

 

yuri-plisetsky: you care

 

phichit+chu: my words came from the heart! and you dismissed them in a second! how cruel!

 

yuri-plisetsky: it was cheesy...

 

yuri-plisetsky: but thanks, chulanont.

 

yuri-plisetsky: youre not half bad

 

phichit+chu: call me phichit!

 

yuri-plistesky: dont get ahead of yourself chulanont

 

phichit+cu: we'll work on that...


	10. "IM CRYIGNN RN"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Episode. Fucking. Ten.

lmao bye chris

 

Sent 12-10-15 at 20:36

 

phichit+chu added christophe-gc to the chat

 

phichit+chu changed chat name to "FCKIGN CRYIGN"

 

phichit+chu: CAN YOU BELIEVE IT

 

phichit+chu: IM NOT DREAMING RIGHT?????

 

phichit+chu: THIS IS REAL LIFE RIGHT

 

phichit+chu: WHAT THE FUCKCKCKKCCL

 

leo_dli: are you okay?

 

+guanghongji+: Phichit what happened?

 

phichit+chu: A LOT OF THINGS HAPPENED OMF

 

phichit+chu: IM CRYIGNN RN

 

leo_dli: should we be concerned?

 

+guanghongji+: phichit what happened???? seriously????

 

phichit+chu: ( ° ᴗ°)~ð (/❛o❛\\) !!!!!!!

 

leo_dli: ?

 

+guanghongji+: ????

 

phichit+chu: RINGS.png

 

+guanghongji+: YUURI!! VICTOR!!

 

leo_dli: WHT THE HELL

 

+guanghongji+: IM SO HAPPY FOR YOU GUYS!!!!!!!

 

+guanghongji+: o(*^▽^*)o

 

leo_dli: CRYING

 

phichit+chu: NOW YOU KNOW MY PAIN

 

yuuri_katsuki: Phichit! Don't go spreading things without permission! 

 

phichit+chu: lmao but i didnt hear a no...

 

v-nikiforov: snatched!

 

leo_dli: congrats you two!

 

+guanghongji+: yes, congrats! aw, but im so jealous~ o(*≧□≦)o

 

yuuri_katsuki: right...thank you

 

phichit+chu: but this doesn't change anything. tomorrow we fight!

 

yuri-plisetsky: to the death

 

christophe-gc: whos ready to commit actual murder

 

yuri-plisetsky: chulanont why did you bring him back

 

phichit+chu: hes grown on me

 

phichit+chu: plus, nothings stopping you from inviting ur new bff otabek now~

 

leo_dli: wait. Otabek. as in Otabek Altin???

 

+guanghongji+: Yuri has a friend!

 

phichit+chu: uh huh! why not yurio? (⁎⚈᷀᷁▿⚈᷀᷁⁎)

 

yuri-plisetsky: ...

 

 

Sent 12-10-15 at 20:57

 

yuri-plisetsky: do you hate everyone else

 

otabek-altin: eh

 

yuri-plisetsky: ok

 

yuri-plisetsky: if i survive, you can too

 

otabek-altin: ?

 

 

FCKIGN CRYIGN

 

Sent 12-10-15 at 21:01

 

yuri-plisetsky added otabek-altin to the chat

 

yuri-plisetsky: we're in this together now

 

phichit+chu: yay! everyone is finally coming together!

 

phichit+chu: xcept sg bc hes ALWAYS INACTIVE (▰˘︹˘▰)

 

seung-gillee: im always watching

 

yuri-plisetsky: i should've warned you otabek. these people are fucking crazy.

 

leo_dli: hello!

 

+guanghongji+: I remember you from Skate America! (゜▼ ゜＊）

 

otabek-altin: ...yeah

 

leo_dli: where's everyone else?

 

phichit+chu: hm...v&y are lurking...mila's never on...emil is probably following the crispinos around...minami is being minami somewhere off in the distance...chris is...idk...and JJ was being obnoxious when we lost saw him...

 

yuri-plisetsky: dont even get me started on him. cant we just block him already?

 

v-nikiforov: ...is JJ the one who won Skate Canada...?

 

yuuri_katsuki: yes...and he won bronze in the gpf...

 

yuri-plisetsky: ok is there anyone here who actually likes JJ?

 

phichit+chu: doubtfully 

 

yuri-plisetsky: good. its unanimous.

 

yuri-plisetsky: and just because i hate him so much, he doesn't get any last words.

 

yuri-plisetsky: bye loser.

 

yuri-plisetsky removed jjleroy!15 from the chat

 

phichit+chu: hallelujah hallelujah

 

leo_dli: cohen or cale???

 

phichit+chu: cohen~

 

leo_dli: ew

 

+guanghongji+: they both suck???

 

leo_dli: why am i even dating you

 

+guanghongji+: cute, funny, great skater, made his routine about taking a bullet for you, cuddles you, loves you...why not? im perfect bf material!

 

leo_dli: you took a bullet for me in the story???

 

+guanghongji+: ...i didnt mean to say that...pls forget

 

leo_dli: you're so good to me????

 

+guanghongji+: ah, well...you out-flirted me. im at loss...

 

leo_dli: yay! 1 for leo, 1000000 for GH!

 

phichit+chu: everyone is so cute and loving tonight????

 

phichit+chu: im in heaven!

 

phichit+chu: seung-gil come here and be cute with me!

 

phichit+chu: not literally fly to spain, but get on gc

 

seung-gillee: like i said, i was here the whole time

 

yuri-plisetsky: creepy

 

 

phichit+chu: facetime w/ seung-gil lee before a good night's sleep! (*＾-‘) 乃

 

99 Comments

 

seung-gillee: (´ . .̫ . `)

 

phichit+chu: CUTEST EMOJI!!!!

 

seung-gillee: yours is cuter

 

phichit+chu: maybe (*~▽~)

 

seung-gillee: thats cute too

 

phichit+chu: i really like urs tho...so pure and simple...but adorable 

 

seung-gillee: ah...

 

+guanghongji+: ೭੧(❛▿❛✿)੭೨

 

phichit+chu: cute!

 

leo_dli: o((◕ฺ∀ ◕✿ฺ))o

 

phichit+chu: terrifyingly cute

 

kenjirou-m: ⚈้̤͡ ˌ̫̮ ⚈้̤͡ 

 

phichit+chu: mE

 

yuri-plisetsky: (*′☉.̫☉)

 

phichit+chu: ...wtf is that

 

yuri-plisetsky: I JUST WANTED TO FIT IN

 

otabek-altin: you fit in with me yuri

 

phichit+chu: ah, but is that a good thing?

 

yuri-plisetsky: shut up chulanont.

 

phichit+chu: ill shut up when i win gold!

 

yuri-plisetsky: looks like he's going to be talking forever...ಠ_ಠ

 

phichit+chu: don't you have anywhere else to be edgy?

 

yuri-plisetsky: your mom

 

christophe-gc: stop stealing my lines

 

christophe-gc: im banned for one day and its like each of you divided up my personality between yourselves...

 

phichit+chu: wanna get banned again?

 

christophe-gc: im good

 

 

Sent 12-10-15 at 22:33

 

mari-k: yuuri

 

mari-k: you're so strange

 

mari-k: ...

 

mari-k: good luck yuuri...sweet dreams...

 

 

 

Sent 12-10-15 at 22:50

 

yuri-plisetsky: mila

 

m_babicheva: yuri! its been awhile~

 

yuri-plisetsky: its been 12 hours

 

m_babicheva: without you ranting? a long time, yura.

 

yuri-plisetsky: youll never believe what they did

 

m_babicheva: who?

 

yuri-plisetsky: katsudon and victor

 

m_babicheva: ?

 

m_babicheva: ...

 

m_babicheva: ?

 

m_babicheva: ?

 

m_babicheva: yura?

 

yuri-plisetsky: ...nothing

 

m_babicheva: ...okay?

 

yuri-plisetsky: ...gn mila

 

m_babicheva: night yura?

 

 

Sent 12-10-15 at 23:20

 

christophe-gc: prepare to lose Nikiforov

 

v-nikiforov: hm? have you really no faith in yuuri?

 

christophe-gc: im guessing bronze at best

 

v-nikiforov: do you know the reason why I decided to become his coach?

 

christophe-gc: i have a guess

 

v-nikiforov: yuuri katsuki has yet to disappoint me

 

v-nikiforov: maybe you'll see what i see one day

 

christophe-gc: about yuuri? please, i doubt my mind could conjure up enough heart eye emojs to match yours

 

christophe-gc: seriously though, i can't wait to see what you two have in store for us

 

v-nikiforov: him

 

christophe-gc: ?

 

v-nikiforov: this was all yuuri. all i did was give an extra push.

 

christophe-gc: still sappy as ever, victor

 

v-nikiforov: better than being in your position chris

 

 

Three Musketeers 

 

Sent 12-10-15 at 23:41

 

+guanghongji+: I cant 

 

leo_dli: me either

 

phichit+chu: boys, keep it together

 

phichit+chu: from here on out, we must accept our new duties as #victuuripolice

 

phichit+chu: as your personal GPF spy, I will gladly sneak in some pics, but you must abide by the rules

 

leo_dli: why so professional 

 

+guanghongji+: just roll with it

 

phichit+chu: 1: No sharing or posting anything involving rings

 

phichit+chu: 2: no sharing or posting w/o my permission

 

phichit+chu: 3: for every victuuri pic, i expect 2 high-quality, rich, hd leoji pics

 

leo_dli: ......guang-hong?

 

+guanghongji+: ...

 

+guanghongji+: whats the worst that can happen

 

leo_dli: rule #1: never ask that question. it can go so much worse than you think.

 

+guanghongji+: true...this is phichit...

 

phichit+chu: im going to ignore the shade. you in or not?

 

+guanghongji+: ....

 

leo_dli: ok

 

+guanghongji+: i demand a pic rn

 

phichit+chu: pay up

 

leo_dli: from COC 

 

leo_dli: jijiselfi.png

 

leo_dli: leoursocute.png

 

phichit+chu: awww

 

phichit+chu: YASS.png

 

leo_dli: im living

 

+guanghongji+: ive ascended 

 

 

phichit+chu posted a photo: thanks boys! ;P

 

490 Comments

 

+guanghongji+: pHICHIT

 

leo_dli: WHAT HAPPENED TO OUR DEAL

 

phichit+chu: if i recall, i never promised i wouldnt post ur content

 

phichit+chu: suck it

 

leo_dli: why you little brat

 

phichit+chu: whos a year older than you

 

+guanghongji+: irrelevant. i v mad at u phichit

 

+guanghongji+: i dont even look that cute in this pic -_-

 

leo_dli: THATS WHAT UR WORRIED ABT???

 

leo_dli: WERE LITERALLY KISSING IN THE PIC

 

leo_dli: WHY WONT U JUST TAKE IT DOWN

 

phichit+chu: content sells

 

+guanghongji+: eh ok

 

+guanghongji+: hopefully more ppl will follow and support me :D

 

leo_dli: you two are the worse

 

+guanghongji+: <3

 

phichit+chu: <3


	11. "i just had coffee!!!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter while I scream about everything. canon divergence is strong here bc im not waiting a week to update. I may or may not alter it later on. Whatever.

Sent 12-11-15 at 03:00

 

phichit+chu: hi

 

seung-gillee: shouldn't you be asleep?

 

phichit+chu: can't

 

seung-gillee: hm...

 

seung-gillee: has the canadian been annoying?

 

phichit+chu: unbelievably so

 

seung-gillee: ah

 

seung-gillee: that woman wont stop calling. trying to get me to be her friend.

 

phichit+chu: is crispino really that bad?

 

seung-gillee: dont like women much

 

seung-gillee: guess the brother is worse though

 

phichit+chu: is it really bad to want someone to like you?

 

seung-gillee: is suppose you haven't met her

 

seung-gillee: too loud. too emotional. too woman-like.

 

seung-gillee: i dont need another friend.

 

phichit+chu: who's your friend?

 

seung-gillee: you

 

phichit+chu: ...we're dating

 

seung-gillee: we were friends first

 

seung-gillee: thats something you shouldn't forget

 

phichit+chu: suppose youre right

 

phichit+chu: you're still my friend

 

seung-gillee: i still like you

 

seung-gillee: the other way

 

phichit+chu: im glad it's mutual

 

seung-gillee: when do you have to wake up?

 

phichit+chu: hm...09:40? so...about 6 hours?

 

seung-gillee: ah

 

seung-gillee: you'll do well

 

seung-gillee: im rooting for you

 

phichit+chu: thanks seung-gil

 

phichit+chu: i think i'm starting to feel sleepy now

 

seung-gillee: alright. go to bed.

 

seung-gillee: i'll see you later.

 

phichit+chu: good night seung-gil

 

 

 

Pastaroni HELP IM CRYING

 

Sent 12-11-15 at 03:22

 

+guanghongji+: WHOS GONNA WIN???

 

leo_dli: idk! I hope its Yuuri or Phichit!

 

kenjirou-m: I will cheer yuuri on at a livestream at the katsuki house!

 

+guanghongji+: meanwhile ill be struggling to hook up to the wifi

 

+guanghongji+: the wifi at home is terrible

 

leo_dli: good luck. it does crash a lot!

 

leo_dli: ill probably have to stop in the middle of practice!

 

kenjirou-m: wow! dedication!

 

leo_dli: i still care about my career...but it's about Yuuri and Phichit now!

 

+guanghongji+: me too! ill even give up my extra sleep time to watch them!

 

leo_dli: seeing as how much you like sleeping, youre really dedicated to watching them

 

+guanghongji+: yep!

 

kenjirou-m: well I'm taking an early train ride to Hasetsu to cheer yuuri on at his home!

 

leo_dli: you're very, very dedicated to yuuri, i presume?

 

kenjirou-m: im his biggest fan!

 

+guanghongji+: second only to victor!

 

kenjirou-m: yeah!!!

 

leo_dli: someones enthusiastic

 

kenjirou-m: i just had coffee!!!

 

leo_dli: bleh. im going to need some to stay awake.

 

+guanghongji+: do you even need coffee?

 

kenjirou-m: well, no, but i like it!

 

leo_dli: you know i could really go for some starbucks rn

 

+guanghongji+: are you tired?

 

leo_dli: yeah. its like 1 here

 

+guanghongji+: you should sleep before the final.

 

leo_dli: maybe i will. idk

 

+guanghongji+: for starters, you still have practice. i also cant have you falling asleep during the gpf!

 

+guanghongji+: honestly, think about ME? who will i scream with???

 

+guanghongji+: if you abandon me i swear...

 

leo_dli: alright alright im leaving

 

kenjirou-m: sweet dreams leo!

 

leo_dli: bye minami!

 

+guanghongji+: bye <3

 

leo_dli: <3

 

kenjirou-m: you two are so cute…

 

 

Salty with a Chance of DEATH

 

Sent 12-11-15 at 09:56

 

m_babicheva: yura, where are you?

 

m_babicheva: yakovs mad 

 

yuri-plisetsky: nowhere

 

m_babicheva: hmmmmm?

 

yuri-plisetsky: just working on some....unfinished business

 

yuri-plisetsky: ill be at the hotel shortly

 

m_babicheva: what business could yuri plisetsky have in barcelona?

 

yuri-plisetsky: ?

 

m_babicheva: you wont believe how yakov punishes him!

 

m_babicheva: click to find out how YOU could witness yuri plisetsky get his ass beat in front of thousand of people

 

yuri-plisetsky: are you...roasting me with clickbaits?

 

m_babicheva: A yurio? sneaking around during MY competition? its more likely than you think.

 

yuri-plisetsky: shut up

 

m_babicheva: Free PC check!

 

 

Sent 12-11-15

 

v-nikforov: wakey wakey sleeping beauty

 

v-nikforov: we've got a long day ahead of us!

 

v-nikforov: yuuri

 

v-nikforov: wake

 

v-nikforov: up

 

v-nikforov: now

 

v-nikforov: yuuri

 

v-nikforov: i 

 

v-nikforov: swear

 

v-nikforov: if

 

v-nikforov: u dont

 

v-nikforov: wake uo

 

v-nikforov: rn

 

v-nikforov: youll

 

v-nikforov: miss

 

v-nikforov: the gpf

 

v-nikforov: and

 

v-nikforov: then

 

v-nikforov: we

 

v-nikforov: cant

 

v-nikforov: get

 

v-nikforov: married

 

v-nikforov: yuuri

 

v-nikforov: wake

 

v-nikforov: UP

 

yuuri_katsuki: im awake

 

yuuri_katsuki: is spamming my phone really a good way to wake me up

 

v-nikforov: im all the way downstairs

 

v-nikforov: do you know how far the room is from here?

 

yuuri_katsuki: hm...id say an elevator ride, a stroll down the hall, and ungraceful trip on the hotel carpeting, and a desperate knock for me to let you in

 

v-nikforov: correct

 

v-nikforov: soooooooooooo

 

v-nikforov: get up bc im not going through all that

 

yuuri_katsuki: why do i have to suffer

 

v-nikforov: let me tell you honey ive done enough of that on my own

 

yuuri_katsuki: no time for being sassy victor

 

v-nikforov: theres always time for the sass

 

yuuri_katsuki: im getting ready. see you in 3 hours bc i cannot do my hair~

 

v-nikforov: you win

 

v-nikforov: ill be up in a few minutes

 

v-nikforov: also, have an ice pack ready. my backs hurting.

 

yuuri_katsuki: why?

 

v-nikforov: lets just say there was a little kitty clawing at it...


	12. "ℒℴѵℯℒᎥѵℯ"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually updated. Wow. I deserve a medal. A gold medal.

Pastaroni HELP IM CRYING

 

Sent 12-11-15 at 11:36

 

leo_dli: i live

 

+guanghongji+: ~IM STILL ALIVE~

 

leo_dli: how dare

 

+guanghongji+: you brought this upon yourself

 

leo_dli: you told me you liked the song!

 

+guanghongji+: ofc i do!

 

+guanghongji+: you're just so perfect that music was the only thing I could go after ;)

 

leo_dli: always hitting my weak spots! you wound me guang-hong!

 

+guanghongji+: more like saved your life

 

leo_dli: ?

 

+guanghongji+: i thought i already told you like yesterday

 

+guanghongji+: in the story of my routine I literally took a bullet for you

 

leo_dli: huh. maybe you did.

 

+guanghongji+: that's ALL you have to say to me? D:

 

leo_dli: oh. thanks.

 

 

+guanghongji+ posted a photo: guess who's watching the GPF alone? @leo_dli thats who -_-

 

390 Comments

 

leo_dli: No come back

 

+guanghongji+: i DIED for you and this is how you repay me?

 

christophe-gc: uh oh. trouble in paradise?

 

leo_dli: no!

 

+guanghongji+: yes

 

christophe-gc: You know the perfect way to say "I love you", Leo?

 

leo_dli: ?

 

christophe-gc: bjs

 

leo_dli: WTF

 

+guanghongji+: disregarding everything wrong with that, im in china and he's in the us.

 

christophe-gc: if you believe it could work

 

leo_dli: IM LEAVING WTF

 

kitty-meow-wow: @christophe-gc speaks the truth

 

leo_dli: @kitty-meow-wow YOURE NOT HELPING

 

6g-jj: @leo_dli It works trust me ;D

 

leo_dli: @6g-jj WHY ARE YOU ALL ON HIS SIDE

 

christophe-gc: you learn from experience ;)

 

leo_dli: GOODBYE

 

 

FCKIGN CRYIGN

 

Sent 12-11-15 at 22:20

 

leo_dli: Good job everyone!

 

yuri-plisetsky: everyone but JJ

 

yuri-plisetsky: although we kicked his irrelevant ass anyway didnt we

 

leo_dli: yeah...

 

christophe-gc: looks like ill just have to work extra hard tomorrow

 

yuri-plisetsky: shut up old man im going to win

 

christophe-gc: im only 25!

 

yuri-plisetsky: still one of the oldest in the series though

 

yuri-plisetsky: I have to win this

 

yuri-plisetsky: and no stripper or cishet annoyance or katsudon is going to take that away from me!

 

v-nikiforov: what happened to being nice to your parents?

 

yuri-plisetsky: the jokes dead, victor

 

v-nikiforov: we could seriously adopt you tho ₍ᐢ•ﻌ•ᐢ₎*･ﾟ｡

 

yuri-plisetsky: in russia? good luck.

 

v-nikiforov: wounded

 

yuri-plisetsky: blame this shitty country not me

 

yuri-plisetsky: don't act like you're the only one suffering anyway

 

v-nikiforov: oh? did little yurio find himself a boyfriend?

 

v-nikiforov: maybe...one from Kazakhstan..??

 

yuri-plistesky: SHUT UP DONT YOU HAVE ANYTHING BETTER TO DO

 

v-nikiforov: Yuuri kicked me out of the hotel room for awhile...

 

v-nikiforov: so its day 2 of getting hypothermia with chris!

 

yuri-plisetsky: you two are so fucking stupid

 

v-nikiforov: beauty comes with a price

 

yuri-plisetsky: Okay, would you rather be smart and generic or a gorgeous idiot?

 

yuuri_katsuki: he's already the second option

 

v-nikiforov: Yuuri! Can I come back now? It's cold!

 

yuuri_katsuki: Don't come back until you can find that ring

 

yuuri_katsuki: I spend like 800 fucking euros on it. find. it.

 

phichit+chu: ah shit yuuri's cussing! hes mad!

 

phichit+chu: wait victor u lost ur ring?!?!?!?

 

phichit+chu: NOT. COOL. MAN.

 

v-nikiforov: No!

 

v-nikiforov: I mean, yes...but no!

 

v-nikiforov: I know it's in Chris' hotel room

 

v-nikiforov: we just haven't looked for it yet!

 

phichit+chu: YOURE SO IRRESPONSIBLE WTF

 

leo_dli: smh victor

 

+guanghongji+: thats low...even for you

 

v-nikiforov: Okay! I get it! I fucked up!

 

phichit+chu: seriously tho...

 

phichit+chu: im surprised yuuri didnt throw ur hoe ass out the window

 

yuuri_katsuki: no but i threw a few shirts out there

 

v-nikiforov: YUURI!

 

yuuri_katsuki: im kidding

 

v-nikiforov: whew

 

yuuri_katsuki: it was ur chanel nail polish

 

v-nikiforov: Yuuuuuuuuurrrrrriiiiii

 

v-nikiforov: im sorry!

 

phichit+chu: get em yuuri

 

leo_dli: he kinda does deserve it...

 

+guanghongji+: i would never smh

 

v-nikiforov: you people are so mean!

 

phichit+chu: when victor enters the chat, so does the discourse

 

v-nikiforov: IM HURT

 

v-nikiforov: :'(

 

 

Sent 12-11-15 at 23:12

 

v-nikiforov: YUURI LOOKIE

 

v-nikiforov: I GOT IT BACK~

 

v-nikiforov: GOTIT.jpg

 

yuri-plisetsky: "go tit " ?

 

v-nikiforov: no

 

v-nikiforov: "Got it"

 

v-nikiforov: are you sure you speak english yura?

 

yuri-plisetsky: LEARN TO TAKE A JOKE

 

v-nikiforov: I would

 

v-nikiforov: but then again, you make it very difficult for me to take you seriously

 

v-nikiforov: ✩◝(◍⌣̎◍)◜✩

 

yuri-plisetsky: SHUDF UPJ

 

phichit+chu: tfw when victor learns how to roast

 

leo_dli: wow

 

+guanghongji+: even im impressed

 

emil-nekola: hi friends!

 

kenjirou-m: Emil! Hi!

 

+guanghongji+: yay! ur back!

 

emil-nekola: yep!

 

emil-nekola: im in a club right now

 

v-nikiforov: ooooh where?

 

emil-nekola: Barcelona!

 

phichit+chu: youre here too?

 

emil-nekola: yes!

 

emil-nekola: i came with the crispinos!

 

yuri-plisetsky: figures...

 

leo_dli: lucky!

 

leo_dli: its probably warmer there...

 

v-nikiforov: not by much probably

 

v-nikiforov: its around 16° here~

 

leo_dli: WTF THATS SO COLD?????

 

v-nikiforov: where are you that gets much warmer than that in winter?????

 

leo_dli: uh Pennsylvania???

 

v-nikiforov: i do not know where that it

 

leo_dli: not important

 

leo_dli: what matters is HOW ARE YOU NOT FREEZING???

 

+guanghongji+: leo...

 

+guanghongji+: Fahrenheit vs Celsius....

 

leo_dli: shit ur right

 

leo_dli: oh my god we're both fucking idiots

 

phichit+chu: #stupidcouple

 

v-nikiforov: like you and your lover are any better~

 

phichit+chu: shut up mister "I lost my engagement ring the second day i got it and consequentially had his luggage thrown out the hotel room"

 

v-nikiforov: im hurt~

 

leo_dli: its ok

 

leo_dli: everyone here is an idiot

 

v-nikiforov: are you reassuring me or yourself?

 

leo_dli: no comment

 

seung-gillee: stop stealing my lines

 

phichit+chu: ah but you're never here to claim them?

 

seung-gilee: im here

 

seung-gillee: trust me

 

phichit+chu: always ヽ(^◇^*)/

 

seung-gillee: cute

 

kenjirou-m: #goals

 

yuri-plisetsky: #shutthefuckup

 

v-nikiforov: #yuriobenice

 

yuri-plisetsky: #shutupoldman

 

phichit+chu: #roasted

 

seung-gillee: #cute

 

phichit+chu: #youparticipated!!!

 

v-nikiforov: #allofyouaresocute!

 

yuri-plisetsky: #shutup

 

v-nikiforov: #imjealous~

 

yuuri_katsuki: #shutup

 

phichit+chu: #SHITSBOUTTOGODOWN

 

leo_dli: stop talking in hashtags

 

phichit+chu: #never

 

leo_dli: you are the reason we are losing the war

 

phichit+chu: what war? whats the backstory?

 

leo_dli: weeeeeeeeeelllllllll

 

leo_dli: Water... Earth... Fire... Air. Long ago, the four nations lived together in harmony. Then everything changed when the Fire Nation attacked. Only the Avatar, master of all four elements, could stop them. But when the world needed him most, he vanished. A hundred years passed and my brother and I discovered the new Avatar, an Airbender named +guanghongji+is my bae. And although his airbending skills are great, he still has a lot to learn before he's ready to save anyone. But I believe +guanghongji+ is my bae can save the world. Work it boo.

 

+guanghongji+: i love you. so much.

 

yuri-plisetsky: AND I AHTE YOU WTF STOP RUIING EVERYTHING FOR ME IM NEVER WATCHING THAT SHOW EVER AGAIN

 

otabek-altin: oh. i was going to ask if you wanted to watch it after the competition.

 

otabek-altin: ill just go now....

 

yuri-plisetsky: NO WAIT I LOVE THAT SHOW OTABEK COME BACK

 

otabek-altin: oh. okay :)

 

yuri-plisetsky: ฅ ̳͒•ˑ̫• ̳͒ฅ♡

 

phichit+chu: WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH YURI PLISETSKY

 

yuri-plisetsky: shut up!

 

v-nikiforov: aw! that was so cute yura! are you sure youre not pining for him?

 

yuri-plisetsky: ive known him for like one day fuck off

 

v-nikiforov: so? I went to Japan to become yuuri's coach bc he asked me to while drunk!

 

yuuri_katsuki: WAIT WHAT????

 

v-nikiforov: oh

 

v-nikiforov: Hi yuuri!

 

yuuri_katsuki: WAIT YOU..WHAT????

 

yuuri_katsuki: YOU CAME BECAUSE I ASKED YOU TO??

 

v-nikiforov: partly. I also wanted to because I saw your potential.

 

v-nikiforov: also because I was an idiot

 

yuri-plisetsky: "Was"

 

yuri-plisteksy: you still are Victor

 

v-nikiforov: perhaps

 

v-nikiforov: Funny how everything worked out though, right Yuuri?

 

yuuri_katsuki: I...I

 

yuuri_katsuki: what is air

 

yuuri_katsuki: oh my god

 

phichit+chu: yuuri calm down!

 

yuuri_katsuki: Victor...you noticed me? Before we formally met?

 

v-nikiforov: Yep!

 

v-nikiforov: You little charmer! Always surprising me!

 

yuuri_katsuki: I just-wow

 

christophe-gc: accurate representation of Victor @ the banquet

 

christophe-gc: ☆*✲ﾟ*｡(((´♡‿♡`+)))｡*ﾟ✲*☆

 

v-nikiforov: tru

 

yuuri_katsuki: this is a lot to process

 

v-nikiforov: its even harder to process when u remember we're engaged now!

 

yuuri_katsuki: ...ur not helping

 

v-nikiforov: oops

 

phichit+chu: your story just keeps getting better and better!

 

phichit+chu: I love love!

 

+guanghongji+: i thought that said love live smh someone take my phone away from me

 

phichit+chu: ℒℴѵℯℒᎥѵℯ

 

+guanghongji+: omg

 

leo_dli: i would but you live in china

 

+guanghongji+: take my phone away when we go to nyc

 

leo_dli: youll be too preoccupied looking at me i dont think ill even bother

 

phichit+chu: *♡೫̥͙*:・ℋɑppყ Ϣәԁԁıɲɠﾟ･:* ೫̥͙♡*

 

leo_dli: omg phichit

 

phichit+chu: Ƭ ɧ ձ ƞ Ƙ ʂ (◦˘ З(◦’ںˉ◦) Ȼ ɧ ư ♡

 

yuri-plisetsky: you ppl ruin everything. even love.

 

christophe-gc: i want to say something but its not pg and id feel uncomfortable saying to any minor

 

christophe-gc: until next time....


	13. wheres @ music hoe leo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updated again bc why not

FCKIGN CRYIGN

 

Sent 12-12-15 at 01:09

 

phichit+chu: do u ever just forget that like....straight cis ppl exist

 

phichit+chu: cuz i do

 

leo_dli: well its easy to forget in such a diverse group like this!

 

v-nikiforov: its happened to me frequently

 

v-nikiforov: when I was younger, i hit on this guy until he told me he had a gf, and then i remembered "oh yeah, this is russia."

 

yuri-plisetsky: is that forgetting or just being stupid? i can't tell

 

phichit+chu: idk...it just like....happens

 

+guanghongji+: well everyone here is lgbt in some way, so yeah

 

yuri-plisetsky: oh yeah, jj's gone. ur right.

 

yuri-plisetsky: throwback to when we defeated the evil that is that cishet asshole

 

+guanghongji+: he is rather annoying...

 

phichit+chu: also when he yelled "ILL WIN GOLD AND GET MARRIED" i just-

 

phichit+chu: like no dude. you can get married anywhere else in the world

 

yuri-plisetsky: oh my god straight ppl are annoying

 

leo_dli: its weird not seeing backlash against this bc we're all gay asf

 

yuri-plisetsky: cis ppl are annoying too sorry @ leo

 

leo_dli: ....ik we r

 

+guanghongji+: sorry @ bae but it tru

 

phicit+chu: a lot of them r, thats for sure

 

leo_dli: am i annoying

 

yuri-plisetsky: yes

 

phichit+chu: well, in the cis terms, no

 

phichit+chu: but yes, u r annoying

 

leo_dli: u r too phidick

 

phichit+chu: rUDE

 

phichit+chu: leo dick la dickglesia

 

+guanghongji+: phidick cocklanont

 

phichit+chu: rude!

 

+guanghongji+: you deserve it

 

phichit+chu: im innocent!

 

+guanghongji+: you've been calling me "ji ji" this entire time!

 

phichit+chu: ? So?

 

+guanghongji+: IT MEANS PENIS YOU ABSOLUTE WALNUT

 

phichit+chu: lmao and u just went with it???

 

+guanghongji+: arguing with ur ignorant ass gets absolutely nowhere

 

leo_dli: tru

 

phichit+chu: shut up!

 

+guanghongji+: leo ur my fav did u know

 

leo_dli: i had a feeling~

 

phichit+chu: im jelly

 

seung-gillee: im here im queer

 

phichit+chu: BAE!

 

seung-gillee: im not an annoying cis person do u love me

 

phichit+chu: ofc

 

+guanghongji+: [link](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yeRvaDkAI5s)

 

phichit+chu: PLAY THIS @ MY WEDDING OMF?

 

seung-gillee: i absolutely forbid it

 

phichit+chu: who says im marrying u?

 

phichit+chu: .

 

phichit+chu: ...

 

phichit+chu: .....

 

phichit+chu: BAE I DIDNT MEAN IT

 

phichit+chu: COME BACK ILY

 

seung-gillee: always watching~

 

+guanghongji+:  ur replying too quickly. y didnt u watch the whole video @ phichit

 

leo_dli: smh fake cohen fan

 

phichit+chu: U HATE HIM

 

leo_dli: still

 

leo_dli: the video is fire dont even @ me phichit

 

phichit+chu: smh i thought u "had the best taste in music"

 

phichit+chu: wheres @ music hoe leo

 

+guanghongji+: i killed him

 

phichit+chu: gASP

 

leo_dli: wait i thougt you saved me

 

+guanghongji+: it was the middle of a battle and i, the hero, died. u probably still died like .3 seconds after lmao

 

leo_dli: rude

 

+guanghongji+: ily

 

leo_dli: ik <3

 

phichit+chu: <3

 

phichit+chu: i love love!

 

leo_dli: we're aware

 

leo_dli: hey how about you focus on ur own relationship instead of ours?

 

phichit+chu: where's the fun in that?

 

+guanghongji+: shut up leo i know ur victuuri trash

 

leo_dli: I-

 

+guanghongji+: ?

 

leo_dli: shit

 

leo_dli: ur right

 

phichit+chu: Ha

 

phichit+chu: expose him ji-ji

 

+guanghongji+: the fact that u still continue to call me that-

 

phichit+chu: its fiiiiiiinnnneee

 

phichit+chu: make up a nickname for me. then well be even.

 

+guanghongji+: hmmm....

 

+guanghongji+: bitchit?

 

phichit+chu: lmao perfect

 

leo_dli: i feel left out

 

phichit+chu: u can be Leove me alone

 

leo_dli: thats kinda long

 

phichit+chu: So?

 

leo_dli: w/e

 

+guanghongji+: yay! the three musketeers have nicknames!

 

leo_dli: horrible ones, but yeah

 

phichit+chu: thats the point!

 

phichit+chu: we suffer, sure, but we suffer together!

 

+guanghongji+: lol sure

 

+guanghongji+: i gtg guys!

 

leo_dli: bye <3

 

phichit+chu: bye!

 

+guanghongji+: bye leo <3

 

+guanghongji+: bye phichit!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If ur wondering, yes I made that stupid ass video just for this ff. ur welcome ;)
> 
> btw phichit, sg, gh, and yurio r trans bc why not?


	14. "extra spicy ;)"

FCKIGN CRYIGN

 

Sent 12-12-15 at 22:01

 

leo_dli: GOOD JOB GUYS OH MY GOD

 

+guanghongji+: OM ACTUALLY CRYING THE CHAT NAME IS ACCURATE

 

phichit+chu: :'(

 

leo_dli: aw Phichit don't feel down

 

leo_dli: you made it, and thats all that matters!

 

phichit+chu: I CAME IN LAST

 

phichit+chu: I ALMOST MADE IT

 

leo_dli: Sorry

 

leo_dli: But isn't it great? Yuri came in first!

 

leo_dli: and he's so young!

 

yuri-plisetsky: I CAME IN FIRST FUCK YEAH

 

yuri-plisetsky: EVEN AFTER EVERYTHING

 

phichit+chu: :(

yuri-plisetsky: jealous Chulanont? 

 

leo_dli: ok guys no fighting

 

leo_dli: we're all friends here

 

yuri-plisetsky: Me? Friends with you?

 

yuri-plisetsky: unlikely

 

leo_dli: :'(

 

+guanghongji+: shut up Plisetsky

 

+guanghongji+: Just because you won doesn't mean you should hurt other people!

 

yuri-plisetsky: you're only two years older than me

 

yuri-plisetsky: don't treat me like a child

 

phichit+chu: Yuri stop

 

yuri-plisetsky: whatever bye

 

 

yuri-plisetsky left the chat

 

 

leo_dli: ugh

 

phichit+chu: ugh is right

 

+guanghongji+: ok i know that some of you didn't do as well as you hoped

 

+guanghongji+: but please don't spread your negativity all over the chat

 

+guanghongji+: instead, lets celebrate!

 

leo_dli: where'd you get that cheesy line?

 

+guanghongji+: im not citing sources

 

leo_dli: literally me @ my history teacher

 

phichit+chu: plagarism

 

leo_dli: says the dude who copy & pasted lines from Dancing Queen into his report on christianity and the bible

 

phichit+chu: i still got an A, so suck it

 

leo_dli: shut up bitchit

 

+guanghongji+: what happened to no hate!!!

 

phichit+chu: oh its ok

 

phichit+chu: i think I'm a bitch too

 

phichit+chu: but not just any bitch

 

phichit+chu: I'm _the_ bitch

 

phichit+chu: ;)

 

 

Sent 12-12-15 at 22:43

 

christophe-gc: so

 

christophe-gc: Victors really coaching and competing at the same time?

 

yuuri_katsuki: well...

 

yuuri_katsuki: I guess

 

christophe-gc: hm

 

christophe-gc: im guessing you two dont plan things well?

 

yuuri_katsuki: not really

 

yuuri_katsuki: that doesn't matter though

 

yuuri_katsuki: im happy enough where we are right now

 

christophe-gc: okay Yuuri

 

christophe-gc: good luck

 

yuuri_katsuki: bye chris

 

 

phichit+chu posted a photo: tfw he gets gold AND silver #notfair #imsoproudtho #Barcelona #GPF #victuuri

 

261 Comments

 

leo_dli: jelly much?

 

phichit+chu: you be quiet

 

+guanghongji+: why won't anyone listen to me?!?!

 

phichit+chu: minors can't have an opinion :/

 

+guanghongji+: now its ur turn to be quiet

 

phichit+chu: :P

 

leo_dli: phichit ur so extra

 

phichit+chu: yeah

 

phichit+chu: extra spicy ;)

 

yuuri_katsuki: you need to stop

 

phichit+chu: THERE YOU ARE

 

phichit+chu: WHERE ARE YOU

 

phichit+chu: U TWO JUST LIKE DISAPPEARED

 

yuuri_katsuki: I can explain...

 

phichit+chu: ?

 

yuuri_katsuki: oh not here

 

phichit+chu: YOU LITTLE-

 

leo_dli: omg yuuri

 

+guanghongji+: why is everything r-rated with u ppl?

 

yuuri_katsuki: i didnt mean like that

 

yuuri_katsuki: it's about...rings...

 

phichit+chu: oh

 

phichit+chu: OH

 

yuuri_katsuki: yeah

 

 

Sent 12-12-15 at 23:12

 

yuuri_katsuki: so...

 

yuuri_katsuki: im in the hotel room

 

phichit+chu: oh?

 

yuuri_katsuki: victor left a little while ago

 

phichit+chu: where could he possibly be going???

 

phichit+chu: You're being all cutesy one minute and the next he's gone?

 

yuuri_katsuki: well no

 

yuuri_katsuki: we relaxed for awhile and talked a bit

 

yuuri_katsuki: and then he looks at his phone and asks if it's ok to go out

 

yuuri_katsuki: he doesn't even wait for a response. he just leaves.

 

phichit+chu: rude!

 

phichit+chu: do u know where he went? how long has he been gone?

 

yuuri_katsuki: idk where he went...it was an hour ago

 

phichit+chu: wtf im gonna find him

 

yuuri_katsuki: PHICHIT!

 

yuuri_katsuki: DONT YOU DARE

 

phichit+chu: TOO LATE

 

yuuri_katsuki: pHICHIT

 

phichit+chu: lmao bye yuuri §ԾᴗԾ§

 

 

Sent 12-12-15 at 23:13

 

phichit+chu: where the fuck are you

 

v-nikiforov: ?

 

v-nikiforov: excuse me?

 

phichit+chu: dont play innocent nikiforov

 

phichit+chu: ik ur with chris

 

v-nikiforov: well yes

 

phichit+chu: if u wont talk he will

 

v-nikiforov: ?

 

 

Sent 12-12-15 at 23:17

 

phichit+chu: where the hell r u

 

christophe-gc: victor told me not to tell u

 

christophe-gc: but last time i checked i dont answer to him

 

christophe-gc: we're at the market

 

christophe-gc: its great u should come

 

phichit+chu: u know what maybe i will

 

christophe-gc: i wont tell him

 

phichit+chu: thnx ♡o｡.(✿ฺ｡ ✿ฺ)

 

 

Sent 12-12-15 at 23:29

 

phichit+chu: lol ur fiances gonna die

 

yuuri_katsuki: PHICHIT

 

 

Sent 12-12-15 at 23:30

 

v-nikiforov: ik chris told u where we r

 

v-nikiforov: hes a dirty double agent

 

v-nikiforov: dont bother coming

 

v-nikiforov: this is for yuuri

 

phichit+chu: and why should i believe you?

 

v-nikiforov: youll see

 

 

Sent 12-12-15 at 23:46

 

phichit+chu: if u die call me

 

yuuri_katsuki: ???????

 

 

v-nikiforov posted a photo: GOLD :) #Barcelona #GPF #Gold

 

900 Comments

 

phichit+chu: wow ur not an asshole

 

phichit+chu: congrats

 

v-nikiforov: told you!

 

phichit+chu: yeah yeah w/e

 

phichit+chu: anyway

 

phichit+chu: MY O T P

 

leo_dli: 0-1000 real quick

 

phichit+chu: u and GH are all the same

 

leo_dli: true

 

yuuri_katsuki: @v-nikiforov ୧( ˵ ° ~ ° ˵ )୨

 

v-nikiforov: so cute~

 

pol-kisa: @yuuri_katsuki @v-nikiforov YOURE ENGAGED?????????

 

v-nikiforov: @pol-kisa yes!

 

liksi-kat: SCREAMING @olin_oia

 

olin_oia: OMG

 

olin_oia: BRB SCREAMING FOR ETERNITY

 

phichit+chu: @olin_oia ME

 

mikas-yuu: @v-nikiforov CRYING

 

v-nikiforov: :)

 

yuuri_katsuki: ur such a sadist

 

v-nikiforov: am not

 

yuuri_katsuki: im pretty sure u r

 

v-nikiforov: not true! i need sources!

 

yuuri_katsuki: when i started choking on katsudon and u ended up choking too from laughing too hard

 

v-nikiforov: u got me there

 

wils-kin: @likng i bet victor proposed!

 

dyinsga-me: @wils-kin I can totally see that!

 

likng: @dyinsga-me Me too! aw im literally screaming from imagining that!

 

ruis-ka: yeah yuuri doesnt seem like the type,,,

 

kikahdhg: @ruis-ka I agree!

 

v-nikiforov: ah, but yuuri did propose!

 

nani_ni: @v-nikiforov YOURE KIDDING

 

v-nikiforov: @nani_ni nope :)

 

yuuri_katsuki: ah, sort of

 

yuuri_katsuki: it wasnt really a proposal at first....

 

v-nikiforov: w/e it happened im my own source thnk u v much

 

yuuri_katsuki: ur the worst

 

v-nikiforov: then, mister katsuki, you must have terrible taste ;)

 

yuuri_katsuki: im cancelling the wedding

 

v-nikiforov: youll regret that in a minute ;)

 

yuri-plisetsky: STOP S**TING ON INSTA WTF

 

yuri-plisetsky: I HATE YOU

 

yuri-plisetsky: GO TO HELL BOTH OF YOU

 

v-nikiforov: so mean yura!

 

v-nikiforov: we're just having a tickle fight!

 

phichit+chu: naked?

 

yuuri_katsuki: you'll never find out the answer to that question

 

v-nikiforov: @ phichit maybeeeeeee

 

yuuri_katsuki: i hate you

 

 

v-nikiforov posted a photo: @yuuri_katsuki loves me dont listen to him ;) #helovesme #sh

 

692 Comments

 

yuuri_katsuki: im blocking you

 

v-nikiforov: YUURI!!!! ｡ﾟ( ﾟஇ‸இﾟ+)ﾟ｡

 

yuuri_katsuki: im kidding. Come back to bed

 

v-nikiforov: ♡〜٩( ˃́▿˂̀ )۶〜♡

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the end, Phichit found out Victor was just buying Yuuri flowers lol


	15. "tragic"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ep 11 is tomorrow im gonna cry :')

Sent 12-13-15 at 02:10

 

m_babicheva: Heeeeeeeeyyyyy bae

 

sara-crispino: Hi!

 

m_babicheva: you did well!

 

sara-crispino: You did too...though im still a bit salty u beat me to the podium again :/

 

m_babicheva: ill always be there to keep you in check ;)

 

sara-crispino: thanks a lot babe

 

sara-crispino: its funny ur like giving me life but also destroying it at the same time

 

m_babicheva: "woe is me"

 

sara-crispino: oh hush

 

sara-crispino: sooooooooo

 

sara-crispino: i was thinking we could get each other christmas gifts while we're here!

 

m_babicheva: oh? christmas isn't big in russia...

 

sara-crispino: oh

 

m_babicheva: we can still do it! i've always been a little bit curious about it

 

m_babicheva: its not like I do nothing for the holiday. Last year Victor had a small get together (meaning like 30 people came...bc its victor) and he got slammed! it was so funny!

 

sara-crispino: that sounds funny! do you have pics?

 

m_babicheva: ofc ;)

 

m_babicheva: drunkidiot.png

 

sara-crispino: lol victor!

 

m_babicheva: total idiot...

 

sara-crispino: hey, what do you want for christmas?

 

m_babicheva: idk...didnt think it through much...

 

m_babicheva: ill be happy with whatever you get me!

 

sara-crispino: ok have fun with ur lump of coal

 

m_babicheva: :/

 

m_babicheva: no goodbye kisses for u

 

sara-crispino: you’d probably cry if i left w/o kissing u

 

m_babicheva: tru

 

m_babicheva: ily

 

sara-crispino: i love you too

 

sara-crispino: now why we get some sleep?

 

sara-crispino: we still have packed day ahead of us

 

m_babicheva: good idea. ill sleep b4 yura starts screaming

 

m_babicheva: gn sara <3

 

sara-crispino: gn mila <3

 

 

Sent 12-13-15 at 08:55

 

jjleroy!15: hello ladies

 

jjleroy!15: do either of you happen to be heterosexual and single?

 

jjleroy!15: bc Im losing a bet right now and JJ doesnt lose!

 

m_babicheva: uh...

 

m_babicheva: you lost the GPF

 

jjleroy!15: not important

 

jjleroy!15: just answer the question

 

jjleroy!15: you too Ms. Crispino

 

sara-crispino: .....

 

sara-crispino: why?

 

jjleroy!15: just answer it!

 

m_babicheva: fine

 

m_babicheva: I'm neither

 

sara-crispino: same

 

jjleroy!15: shit

 

jjleroy!15: ok do you happen to have any other female skater's instagram?

 

m_babicheva: fuck off leroy

 

jjleroy!15: ...

 

jjleroy!15: ...I'm screwed

 

 

Sent 12-13-15 at 09:13

 

jjleroy!15: hi can u pretend to be a hot heterosexual girl

 

phichit+chu: ?

 

jjleroy!15: answer

 

phichit+chu: no?

 

jjleroy!15: tell me you at least know emilia's insta

 

phichit+chu: the skater?

 

jjleroy!15: no the stripper

 

jjleroy!15: YES THE SKATER

 

phichit+chu: Emilia blocked you two years ago...

 

jjleroy!15: shit ur right

 

jjleroy!15: what abt Riley?

 

phichit+chu: why dont u ask her herself?

 

jjleroy!15: all of you are so unreliable!

 

 

Sent 12-13-15 at 10:00

 

yuri-plisetsky: so?

 

jjleroy!15: yeah! i totally did it!

 

yuri-plisetsky: ok

 

yuri-plisetsky: screenshots

 

jjleroy!15: that wasn't in the agreement!

 

yuri-plisetsky: SCREEN.SHOTS.LEROY.

 

yuri-plisetsky: NOW.

 

jjleroy!15: ok

 

jjleroy!15: straightgirl.png

 

yuri-plisetsky: JJ

 

jjleroy!15: ...yes?

 

yuri-plisetsky: Thats a convo between u and chris

 

jjleroy!15: uh

 

yuri-plisetsky: I WON

 

yuri-plisetsky: PAY UP LOSER

 

jjleroy!15: this is unfair!

 

yuri-plisetsky: the rules were carefully stated

 

yuri-plisetsky: "You have until 10 to get a straight girl skater to talk to you, or I get to ask you for whatever I want, plus I get $100 "

 

yuri-plisetsky: PAY UP I WANT MY RUBLES

 

jjleroy!15: ok

 

jjleroy!15: u get 100 authentic canadian dollars haha ;P

 

yuri-plisetsky: …ok

 

jjleroy!15: wow really?

 

jjleroy!15: i thought you'd yell at me

 

yuri-plisetsky: ...this is fine

 

jjleroy!15: alright then

 

jjleroy!15: bye yuri!

 

yuri-plisetsky: ...bye

 

 

FCKIGN CRYIGN

 

Sent 12-13-15 at 10:40

 

phichit+chu: i feel like this is the longest we've gone w/o changing the name

 

leo_dli: what about when you left is as "Satan's hole" for three days?

 

phichit+chu: u got me there

 

+guanghongji+: as long as it communicates the mood its ok

 

+guanghongji+: although i cant remember why it was named satan's hole...

 

phichit+chu: chris

 

+guanghongji+: ohhhhhh

 

leo_dli: its unusually quiet

 

phichit+chu: yeah....

 

phichit+chu: hey do u think yuris calmed down yet?

 

leo_dli: probably

 

phichit+chu: ill add him again

 

 

phichit+chu added yuri-plisetsky to the chat

 

 

phichit+chu: hi yuri!

 

yuri-plisetsky: hi

 

yuri-plisetsky: did u know jj is the biggest fucking idiot in the entire world

 

leo_dli: ?

 

yuri-plisetsky: i made a bet that he couldnt get a straight single girl skater to talk to him, and i won

 

yuri-plisetsky: so he had to give me 100 rubles and a free pass to do w/e i want to him

 

yuri-plisetsky: so when i ask for the money he says "alright, ill give u 100 canadian dollars"

 

yuri-plisetsky: and im crying because thats like 4000 rubles

 

yuri-plisetsky: hes such a fucking idiot im weeping

 

leo_dli: lmao

 

+guanghongji+: im crying

 

phichit+chu: reminds me of the time yuuri and i had a bet and he gave me 100 usd instead of thb i cried and he was so concerned

 

yuri-plisetsky: jjs so stupid tho omg

 

 

yuri-plisetsky renamed the chat to "suck it jj"

 

 

phichit+chu: DYING

 

+guanghongji+: can i have ur insta followers then?

 

phichit+chu: screw off ji-ji im not ready for ur bullshit this early in the morning

 

+guanghongji+: ok dickchit

 

leo_dli: its 4 here why am i even awake

 

+guanghongji+: priorities

 

leo_dli: shitposting?

 

+guanghongji+: me

 

leo_dli: so....shitposting?

 

+guanghongji+: -_-

 

phichit+chu: lol get rekt

 

yuri-plisetsky: reading that sentence was like traveling back to 2012 pls dont do it again

 

phichit+chu: no promises

 

leo_dli: we need some new memes asap its like we're desperate

 

phichit+chu: [rat.jpg](http://nationalreport.net/wp-content/uploads/2015/09/PizzaRat.jpg)

 

phichit+chu: look its ji-ji late at night

 

+guanghongji+: [lmao.jpg](http://media.salon.com/2015/01/chrissy_teigen.jpg)

 

+guanghongji+: look its dickchit after he lost the gpf

 

leo_dli: what happened to no hate?

 

seung-gillee: viva la revolution

 

phichit+chu: BAE WHY YOU GOTTA HURT ME LIKE THIS

 

seung-gillee: sorry i dont speak english :/

 

phichit+chu: SEUNG GILTKNR

 

leo_dli: lmao seung-gil is actually savage

 

+guanghongji+: what abt me????

 

leo_dli: .....sorry i dont speak english :/

 

+guanghongji+: i guess america is 100% spanish speaking then?

 

leo_dli: i wish. like adios republicans.

 

+guanghongji+: wait u have to say it in spanish

 

leo_dli: Adios perra estúpida

 

+guanghongji+: adjskjkljf

 

+guanghongji+: i would say ur savage...but then again....

 

leo_dli: self proclaimed savage then?

 

phichit+chu: im self proclaimed insta overlord

 

phichit+chu: only second to the queen herself: nicki minaj

 

leo_dli: nicki is queen omg u like her?

 

phichit+chu: like??? more like love. i discovered her while training in detroit!

 

leo_dli: wow!

 

phichit+chu: tbh superbass is my fave

 

leo_dli: that song is fire!

 

leo_dli: i personally like roman's revenge though!

 

phichit+chu: m and champion is gr8 too

 

+guanghongji+: ok thnks music hoes for finally agreeing on something

 

leo_dli: u want us to disagree?

 

+guanghongji+: NO

 

leo_dli: i cant hear u

 

leo_dli: phichit whats ur favorite song ever

 

phichit+chu: Poker Face tbh

 

leo_dli: what is this, 2008?

 

phichit+chu: its a good song!

 

leo_dli: thats where you're wrong

 

leo_dli: poker face isnt even the best gaga song

 

phichit+chu: shut up

 

+guanghongji+: yes please shut up

 

leo_dli: phichit ur so uneducated

 

phichit+chu: not true! i finished school!

 

leo_dli: straight C's

 

phichit+chu: I HAD ONE C IN BIOLOGY!!!

 

leo_dli: still counts

 

+guanghongji+: better than im doing

 

phichit+chu: oh yeah its your last year huh ? good luck GH. dont fail

 

+guanghongji+: too late. math is a dud

 

leo_dli: i relate ngl

 

phichit+chu: SO YOU ADMIT TO FAILING MATH????

 

leo_dli: I never said I failed it. In HS i had straight B's in math. I'm just not exceptional at it and fell behind a lot

 

phichit+chu: whatever

 

yuri-plisetsky: I'm barely passing literacy

 

phichit+chu: unfortunate

 

leo_dli: too bad

 

+guanghongji+: tragic

 

yuri-plisetsky: WHY ARE YOU GANGING UP ON ME

 

phichit+chu: Despite the discord-

 

leo_dli: and the little overseas issues-

 

+guanghongji+: -the Three Musketeers stick together!

 

yuri-plisetsky: Ugh

 

phichit+chu: Want us to save you yurio?

 

yuri-plisetsky: shove off chulanont

 

leo_dli: or maybe you want a handsome prince...?

 

yuri-plisetsky: unlikely

 

+guanghongji+: or.....a stoic Kazakh boy who's name starts with Ota and ends with Bek...?

 

yuri-plisetsky: SHUT UP

 

leo_dli: ahaha

 

phichit+chu: did we strick a nerve yuri?

 

yuri-plistesky: SEVERAL THOUSAND

 

phichit+chu: unfortunate

 

leo_dli: too bad

 

+guanghongji+: tragic

 

yuri-plisetsky: IM LEAVING.

 

yuri-plisetsky: GOOD.BYE.

 

phichit+chu: aw

 

leo_dli: he's so fun to tease

 

yuuri_katsuki: stop harassing minors????

 

+guanghongji+: FAVORITISM I SAY

 

+guanghongji+: WHY DO YOU HATE ME YUURI????

 

yuuri_katsuki: im leaving too. bye.

 

+guanghongji+: AHAAAAAAAAAAAA

 

leo_dli: babe chill

 

+guanghongji+: its hard to chill when ur so smokin hot ;)

 

phichit+chu: im calling the police


	16. "suspicious..."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *Insert catchy opener here*  
> I managed to update despite being busy af. good for me.

phichit+chu posted a photo: so this is what drunk Yuuri is like! #imissedlastyear #luckilyihavesources

 

780 Comments

 

yuuri_katsuki: PHICHIT DELETE IT

 

phichit+chu: ah but what about preserving memories?

 

yuuri_katsuki: PHICHIT

 

v-nikiforov: drunk yuuri is my third favorite yuuri!

 

leo_dli: who's 1 and 2?

 

v-nikiforov: no comment

 

yuuri_katsuki: @phichit+chu YOURE SO MEAN

 

v-nikiforov: its a shame you were sober this year though :/

 

yuuri_katsuki: DONT ENCOURAGE HIM

 

phichit+chu: The only thing encouraging me rn is sleep

 

yuuri_katsuki: THEN SLEEP

 

phichit+chu: viva la revolution

 

 

suck it jj

 

Sent 12-14-15 at 07:48

 

phichit+chu: I have to catch a flight in an hour

 

phichit+chu: but im not dressed and my makeups not done

 

phichit+chu: @yuuri_katsuki where are u when i need you

 

v-nikiforov: napping~

 

phichit+chu: boo

 

phichit+chu: ...actually victor...do you happen to know how to apply eyeliner?

 

v-nikiforov: how else would i do mine?

 

phichit+chu: sweet

 

phichit+chu: wait

 

phichit+chu: u wear makeup?

 

v-nikiforov: sometimes

 

v-nikiforov: hey werent u and yuuri big fans of me?

 

phichit+chu: yeah why do you ask?

 

v-nikiforov: oh well I used to wear nail polish all the time when skating! i just wanted to see if you knew~

 

yuuri_katsuki: I knew that

 

v-nikiforovL I thought u were napping!

 

yuuri_katsuki: im awake

 

yuri-plisetsky: congrats u just won Jeopardy: Stalking Victor Edition

 

yuuri_katsuki: if that was a real thing i would win tbh

 

phichit+chu: well duh ur his fanboy/protege/fiance/soulmate

 

yuuri_katsuki: ...soulmate?

 

yuuri_katsuki: thats a bit of a stretch

 

phichit+chu: no consider it

 

phichit+chu: Victor is Yuuri's idol, the person he admires most and longs to meet on the same rink

 

phichit+chu: So Yuuri finally makes it to the GPF, but loses badly

 

phichit+chu: But then at the banquet, Yuuri gets hammered

 

phichit+chu: and, since he's a bold drunk, he challenges yurio to a dance-off and wins

 

phichit+chu: and finally, Yuuri drags Victor along to the dance floor like its nothing and gives Victor the time of his life

 

phichit+chu: Cut to a few months later. Yuuri skates Victor's routine and its posted online

 

phichit+chu: and victor sees it and decides hes going to be yuuri's coach!

 

yuuri_katsuki: interesting

 

yuuri_katsuki: you forgot our first meeting though

 

phichit+chu: ?

 

yuuri_katsuki: it was right after Victor won. he offered to take a photo with me and i walked away

 

v-nikiforov: I remember that!

 

v-nikiforov: I was hurt yuuri~

 

yuuri_katsuki: I was just disappointed that I couldn't meet you under circumstances where we were at the same level

 

v-nikiforov: aw

 

v-nikiforov: oh right phichit u also forgot the part where drunk yuuri asked me to be his coach @ the banquet and i basically fell in love with him at that moment

 

phichit+chu: WAIT RLLY????

 

phichit+chu: OH MY GOD??????

 

yuuri_katsuki: ...are you serious?

 

yuuri_katsuki: Idol Victor fell in love with drunk yuuri that night?

 

v-nikiforov: you talk as if im dead

 

yuri-plisetsky: Victor Nikiforov is dead

 

v-nikiforov: hush yura

 

v-nikiforov: but in all seriousness, yes I fell in love with yuuri @ the banquet

 

leo_dli: w o w did not see that one coming

 

+guanghongji+: YOU TWO ARE SOULMATES GET MARRIED N O W

 

v-nikiforov: As soon as he wins gold ;)

 

phichit+chu: IM SO HAPPY FOR YOU TWO I JUST

 

phichit+chu: AHHHHHHHH

 

seung-gillee: i want a summer wedding

 

leo_dli: Already thinking about marriage seung-gil?

 

seung-gillee: no. im just saying it would be nice

 

phichit+chu: [crying.jpg](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/43/e1/4f/43e14f03bae11b07afc4af813f8dbe97.jpg)

 

+guanghongji+: well, if victor and yuuri can get engaged after dating for like a month im sure you two can :)

 

leo_dli: wait victuuri has only been together for a month???

 

v-nikiforov: hmmm...I guess so!

 

v-nikiforov: But I've loved him for a year now

 

yuuri_katsuki: and ive been stanning him since i was tiny

 

phichit+chu: SOULMATES

 

yuri-plisetsky: more like losers

 

v-nikiforov: Yuuri won!

 

yuri-plisetsky: do you ever shut up?

 

yuri-plisetsky: you're so infuriating

 

yuri-plisetsky: you too pig

 

yuri-plisetsky: ugh

 

otabek-altin: calm down yuri

 

yuri-plisetsky: IM CALM

 

otabek-altin: really?

 

yuri-plisetsky: ....no

 

otabek-altin: take deep breaths

 

yuri-plisetsky: ok im breathing

 

otabek-altin: your mouth has to be open wide enough as you exhale

 

yuri-plisetsky: how wide is "wide enough" ?

 

phichit+chu: wide enough to suck dick

 

yuri-plisetsky: YOURE THE REASON I NEED THESE EXERCISES FUCK OFF

 

phichit+chu: ;)

 

phichit+chu: oh yeah @ victor come to my room i need help asap

 

phichit+chu: i may just be going on an airplane, but i still have to dress to impress

 

yuri-plisetsky: impress who? ur bf who lives in south korea?

 

christophe-gc: ur mom

 

phichit+chu: strangely, i missed the chris comments

 

v-nikiforov: on my way~

 

phichit+chu: hurry!

 

phichit+chu: i gotta get the wing on point quickly!

 

v-nikiforov: you can count on me

 

 

phichit+chu posted a photo: Thailand here I come #goodbyebarcelona #gpf

 

 

suck it jj

 

Sent 12-14-15 at 08:21

 

yuuri_katsuki: can't wait for christmas!

 

phichit+chu: yuuri you best be getting me something good

 

yuuri_katsuki: dont worry i already have the perfect gift

 

phichit+chu: ANOTHER HAMSTER????

 

yuuri_katsuki: er...no...

 

phichit+chu: THEN HOW IS IT PERFECT?????

 

yuuri_katsuki: ok maybe its a mediocre gift then idc

 

yuuri_katsuki: youre getting it either way

 

phichit+chu: okaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyy

 

leo_dli: ur so nosy phichit

 

phichit+chu: oh rlly?

 

leo_dli: yes

 

phichit+chu: wanna know what i got you?

 

leo_dli: .....yes

 

phichit+chu: NOTHING

 

+guanghongji+: lol leo's nosy too

 

leo_dli: dont act like youre better than us now

 

leo_dli: just last year you were snooping through my bag to see if I got you anything

 

+guanghong+: at least there wasn't anything in there

 

+guanghongji+: wellll....yes there was...but still

 

leo_dli: you're not to speak of that!

 

phichit+chu: GH SPILL

 

phichit+chu: IM SO THIRSTY FOR THAT TEA GIMMEEE

 

+guanghongji+: lol ok

 

+guanghongji+: I found out that day that Leo has underwear with music notes on them!

 

leo_dli: BE QUIET

 

+guanghongji+: And little tiny Nemos all over!

 

phichit+chu: YOU HAVE NEMO BOXERS

 

phichit+chu: LMAO LEO

 

yuuri_katsuki: i used to have nemo ones too! its ok!

 

yuuri_katsuki: i mean, I was like 11 but...

 

leo_dli: NOT HELPING

 

christophe-gc: its okay leo, maybe there's someone out there with a nemo kink

 

christophe-gc: then you wont get judged in the bedroom!

 

phichit+chu: IM DYIGN HELP

 

leo_dli: YOURE TERRIBLE PEOPLE

 

+guanghongji+: terribly cute ╭⚈¬⚈╮

 

leo_dli: ...you're lucky you're rlly cute guang-hong

 

phichit+chu: giving in just because he's ur bf? ha loser!

 

v-nikiforov: yuuri why cant we be like this

 

yuuri_katsuki: you want to have a long distance relationship where the small amount of time we have together is wasted bickering?

 

v-nikiforov: u know what I think we're fine the way we are （;￣︶￣）

 

yuuri_katsuki: good choice

 

 

Sent 12-14-15 at 09:12

 

jjleroy!15: hahahahaha!

 

m_babicheva: what are you laughing about you creep

 

jjleroy!15: nothing~

 

sara-crispino: suspicious...

 

jjleroy!15: if you want to hear you have to promise not to tell anyone else!

 

m_babicheva: double suspicious...

 

jjleroy!15: ok?

 

sara-crispino: ok

 

m_babicheva: fine. spill.

 

jjleroy!15: ok so as you may or may not have heard i was doing a bet with yuri

 

jjleroy!15: I had to find some straight girl skater to talk to me

 

jjleroy!15: And I lost, and the loser had to pay $100

 

jjleroy!15: BUT

 

m_babicheva: ?

 

jjleroy!15: I tricked him!

 

sara-crispino: how???

 

jjleroy!15: I gave him Canadian dollars instead of rubles!!!!!

 

jjleroy!15: hahahahaha!!!!

 

jjleroy!15: THE GREAT JJ LEROY STRIKES AGAIN!

 

m_babicheva: oh my god

 

m_babicheva: im crying rn

 

sara-crispino: Huh? Why???

 

m_babicheva: leroy you're so easy!

 

jjleroy!15: Easy to lose to? Yes!

 

m_babicheva: i mean you're so dense!

 

sara-crispino: What's going on?

 

m_babicheva: He asked for 100 rubles and you gave him 100 CD???

 

m_babicheva: LMAO!!!!

 

jjleroy!15: whats so funny?

 

sara-crispino: Yeah?!?!?

 

m_babicheva: You basically gave him 4000 rubles instead of 100!

 

m_babicheva: Yura probably just wanted to buy a candy bar or something with the 100 but you gave 40x as much money!

 

m_babicheva: IM CRYING!!!!

 

sara-crispino: OH MY GOD LMAO

 

jjleroy!15: ARE YOU SERIOUS????

 

m_babicheva: yES

 

jjleroy!15: crap!

 

sara-crispino: "THE GREAT JJ LEROY" JUST GOT SCAMMED IM LIVING

 

jjleroy!15: shut up!

 

 

yuri-plisetsky posted a photo: $Cash$Money$ #lmao #thnksloser #doublewin

 

935 Comments

 

m_babicheva: IM STILL CRYING YURA

 

m_babicheva: HOW CAN ONE PERSON BE THAT STUPID?

 

yuri-plisetsky: I wouldn't expect any less of JJ tbh

 

jjleroy!15: You people are the worst!

 

jjleroy!15: First kicking me off the GC, now this harassment!

 

yuri-plisetsky: ok but I had to listen to a stadium full of crazy fans chant your name

 

yuri-plisetsky: EVEN THOUGH YOU LOST

 

jjleroy!15: you're just jealous!

 

yuri-plisetsky: About what?

 

yuri-plisetsky: I won!

 

m_babicheva: oh shit yuri

 

kitty-yurio: @yuri-plisetsky YOURE SO PERFECT IF YOU ROASTED ME I WOULD BE HAPPY

 

yuri-plisetsky: @kitty-yurio ur capslock stuck?

 

kitty-yurio: IM DECEASED THANK YOU GOD!

 

keyboard!yuri: @yuri-plisetsky IF YOU HIT ME WITH UR CAR I WOULD CELEBRATE

 

yuri-plisetsky: celebrate what? your ascent to heaven?

 

m_babicheva: YURA STOP

 

sara-crispino: Yuri is so mean!

 

yuri-plisetsky: You're following me Crispino?

 

sara-crispino: any friend of Mila's is a friend of mine!

 

yuri-plisetsky: I am NOT Mila's friend!

 

yuri-plisetsky: we just happen to be stuck together

 

m_babicheva: Im hurt!

 

sara-crispino: aw mila~

 

m_babicheva: can you kiss it better?

 

sara-crispino: Weeeeellllll

 

sara-crispino: I guess it wouldnt hurt to sneak out for a little while!

 

m_babicheva: yay!

 

yuri-plisetsky: CAN YOU PLEASE FLIRT ELSEWHERE

 

hoxxy_rox: @yuri-plisetsky FLIRT WITH ME!!! IM A CUTE GIRL!!! TELL ME IM PRETTY!!!

 

yuri-plisetsky: I have a headache. im retiring.

 

yuris-angels: NUUUU YURATCHKA U CANT RETIRE YET!!!!!!

 

yuri-plisetsky: I MEANT RETIRE TO BED

 

m_babicheva: but yuri its daytime

 

yuri-plisetsky: GOOD.NIGHT.


	17. "GGOODBYE CHAT OF SIN"

suck it jj

 

Sent 12-15-15 at 02:37

 

phichit+chu: im thirsty

 

v-nikiforov: .

 

phichit+chu: FOR THE TEA

 

phichit+chu: S P I L L

 

v-nikiforov: i heard chris moaning in his hotel room

 

phichit+chu: yeah but thats normal

 

v-nikiforov: uh...otabek was staring at yurio intently?

 

phichit+chu: THIS TEA IS CRAP

 

phichit+chu: I ONLY WANT THE GENUINE GRADE-A STUFF

 

phichit+chu: THE EARL GREY OF DRAMA

 

yuri-plisetsky: lots of furniture moving in victor's room

 

phichit+chu: !!!!!

 

yuri-plisetsky: sounds too

 

phichit+chu: !!!!!!!!!!

 

phichit+chu: SPILL NIKIFOROV

 

v-nikiforov: uh

 

v-nikiforov: did u know mila has an entire folder called "yura's wrongdoings" on her phone for blackmail

 

yuri-plisetsky: IRRELEVANT

 

yuri-plisetsky: wait...blackmail? who would she even tell?

 

v-nikiforov: grandpa...:)

 

yuri-plisetsky: wait

 

yuri-plisetsky: THAT EXPLAINS HOW HE FOUND OUT ABT THE APPLE JUICE INCIDENT

 

yuri-plisetsky: MILA YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE

 

m_babicheva: <3

 

yuri-plisetsky: ILL KILL YOU

 

m_babicheva: [sureyura.gif](https://media.giphy.com/media/yoJC2KkAiOFi4eHjji/giphy.gif)

 

yuri-plisetsky: FUCK.OFF.

 

phichit+chu: lol nice meme

 

m_babicheva: thanks [looks at smudged writing on hand] bedsheet colanut

 

leo_dli: lmao mila good one

 

+guanghongji+: i love my boyfriend [looks at smudged writing on hand] lego deli iceberg

 

yuri-plisetsky: I WILL HURT YOU MILA. VERY BADLY.

 

m_babicheva: have you forgotten i can hold you up over my head like the little rag doll you are?

 

yuri-plisetsky: FUCK OFF

 

m_babicheva: bye yura! <3

 

leo_dli: ...wow

 

leo_dli: im hurt gh!

 

phichit+chu: haha you got pummeled son

 

leo_dli: shut it bedsheet

 

 

phichit+chu posted a photo: you learn so much about russian culture on suck it jj #gc #yuri #mila #lol

 

784 Comments

 

yuri-plisetsky: CHULANONT

 

phichit+chu: PLISETSKY

 

+guanghongji+: its cuter if u use first names

 

+guanghongji+: trust me i have sources

 

phichit+chu: ?

 

phichit+chu: oohhhhhhhhhh

 

phichit+chu: YURI

 

yuri-plisetsky: BEDSHEET

 

leo_dli: hahaha roasted!

 

phichit+chu: at least I dont look like a cockroach you lego

 

+guanghongji+: hahaha

 

+guanghongji+: i bet u cant roast me

 

+guanghongji+: im perfect

 

yuri-plisetsky: ok dong-hong

 

+guanghongji+: ˚‧º·(˚ ˃̣̣̥᷄⌓˂̣̣̥᷅ )‧º·˚

 

leo_dli: lmao bae u ok

 

+guanghongji+: NO

 

phichit+chu: ehehehe

 

phichit+chu: ( ´༎ຶㅂ༎ຶ`)

 

leo_dli: wtf

 

phichit+chu: nothing

 

yuri-plisetsky: go to bed for once you fucking walnut

 

phichit+chu: walnut bedsheets?

 

yuri-plisetsky: i wish i had a pic for that

 

phichit+chu: they dont exist? :(

 

yuri-plisetsky: sadly, no

 

phichit+chu: im going to sleep forever fuck rl

 

phichit+chu: if walnut bed sheets dont exist whats the point in living

 

leo_dli: @ someone pls make walnut bed sheets i dont want him to die yet

 

+guanghongji+: "yet"

 

leo_dli: well yeah

 

leo_dli: if you have to die, best be at the hands of ur platonicbestbrobestex- roomatenohomoonlybromobffforeverbestbro

 

phichit+chu: THATS ME AND YUURIS THING S T O P

 

leo_dli: U STOLE GH AND MY THING

 

yuri-plisetsky: AND ALL OF YOU STOLE MY WILL TO LIVE

 

yuri-plisetsky: I WANT A REFUND

 

phichit+chu: lol sorry boo macy's has a return policy, and it looks like you're 3 years too late to return your purchase of "crippling depression and anxiety"

 

yuri-plisetsky: fuck outta here

 

leo_dli: you forgot "angst"

 

yuri-plisetsky: FUCK.OFF.

 

phichit+chu: i rest my case

 

phichit+chu: bye cruel world

 

phichit+chu: ill see u when someone invents some Nut Fandom merch

 

leo_dli: were not calling it the nut fandom

 

phichit+chu: just try and stop me hoe

 

leo_dli: WEE WOO WEE WOO ITS THE POLICE UR ARRESTED NOW

 

phichit+chu: fuck off

 

leo_dli: "angst"

 

 

suck it jj

 

Sent 12-15-15 at 03:40

 

yuuri_katsuki: why is anyone active so late at night?

 

yuuri_katsuki: are you all even human?

 

leo_dli: according to gh, no

 

+guanghongji+: BE QUIET

 

leo_dli: better than yuri's weird angsty yelling

 

yuri-plisetsky: WHY DOES THE UNIVERSE DEFY ME?

 

yuri-plisetsky: FUCK OFF.

 

leo_dli: Go away [4x]

 

leo_dli: Leave me alone [7x]

 

+guanghongji+: it fits tbh

 

yuri-plisetsky: shut up

 

yuuri_katsuki: yuri you're so mean

 

v-nikiforov: yeah yura cursing isnt nice

 

yuuri_katsuki: victor you curse on a daily basis

 

v-nikiforov: not true i am above using curse words!

 

yuuri_katsuki: sure

 

v-nikiforov: anyway, yura, you have to be nice

 

v-nikiforov: just smile :)

 

yuri-plisetsky: (≖ิ(‿)≖ิ)

 

v-nikiforov: what the fuck

 

 

v-nikiforov posted a photo: ( ❀⃙⃕⃠⃝⃘⃚౪❀⃙⃕⃠⃝ ) when yuri tries to smile but all the salt in his tiny body corrupts the innocent smiley :/ #yuri #emoji #lol #creepy

 

6000 Comments

 

leo_dli: it resembles him at least

 

yuri-plisetsky: why havent i blocked you yet

 

phichit+chu: it could be worse anyway!

 

v-nikiforov: ?

 

phichit+chu: OwO

 

yuri-plisetsky: EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

 

leo_dli: omg phichit no

 

phichit+chu: the rest is nsfw so i cant post it here

 

phichit+chu: suck it jj here i come

 

leo_dli: WHAT NOOOOO

 

 

suck it jj

 

Sent 12-15-15 at 10:26

 

leo_dli: SOMEONE STOP PHICHIT

 

phichit+chu: too late!

 

phichit+chu: Rawr x3 nuzzles how are you pounces on you you're so warm o3o notices you have a bulge o: someone's happy nuzzles your necky wecky~ murr hehehe rubbies your bulgy wolgy you're so big :oooo rubbies more on your bulgy wolgy it doesn't stop growing ·///· kisses you and lickies your necky daddy likies (; nuzzles wuzzles I hope daddy really likes $: wiggles butt and squirms I want to see your big daddy meat wiggles butt I have a little itch o3o wags tail can you please get my itch puts paws on your chest nyea its a seven inch itch rubs your chest can you help me pwease squirms pwetty pwease sad face I need to be punished runs paws down your chest and bites lip like I need to be punished really good paws on your bulge as I lick my lips I'm getting thirsty. I can go for some milk unbuttons your pants as my eyes glow you smell so musky :v licks shaft* mmmm so musky drools all over your daddy meat I like fondles Mr. Fuzzy Balls hehe puts snout on balls and inhales deeply oh god im so hard licks balls punish me daddy nyea squirms more and wiggles butt I love your musky goodness bites lip please punish me licks lips* nyea suckles on your tip so good licks pre of your cock salty goodness eyes role back and goes balls deep mmmm moans and suckles

 

yuri-plisetsky: WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST READ

 

yuri-plisetsky: YOU DISGUST ME

 

phichit+chu: What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

 

leo_dli: S T O P

 

leo_dli: IM SHUTTING DOWN THIS GC IF YOU CONTINUE

 

v-nikiforov: omg

 

v-nikiforov: @ leo is basically the daddy meme

 

leo_dli: nONONONONONONOONHNO

 

v-nikiforov: IM DELETING YOU, DADDY!]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]] 10% complete..... ]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]] 35% complete....]]]]]]]]]]]]]]] 60% complete....] 99% complete..... ERROR! True Daddies are irreplaceable I could never delete you Daddy! Send this to ten other Daddies who give you cummies Or never get called ☁squishy☁ again If you get 0 Back: no cummies for you 3 back: you're squishy☁ 5 back: you're daddy's kitten 10+ back: Daddy

 

leo_dli: I HATE YUO

 

+guanghongji+: The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.

 

leo_dli: IM JAVING MIDDLE SCHHOL FLASHBCKS HOW COULD YOU

 

+guanghongji+: According to all known laws of aviation,there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible.Yellow, black. Yellow, black.Yellow, black. Yellow, black.Ooh, black and yellow.Let's shake it up a little.Barry! Breakfast is ready!Ooming!Hang on a second.Hello?- Barry?- Adam?- Oan you believe this is happening?- I can't. I'll pick you up.Looking sharp.Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those.Sorry. I'm excited.Here's the graduate.We're very proud of you, son.A perfect report card, all B's.Very proud.Ma! I got a thing going here.- You got lint on your fuzz.- Ow! That's me!- Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000.- Bye!Barry, I told you,stop flying in the house!- Hey, Adam.- Hey, Barry.- Is that fuzz gel?- A little. Special day, graduation. Never thought I'd make it.Three days grade school,three days high school.Those were awkward.Three days college. I'm glad I took a day and hitchhiked around the hive.You did come back different.- Hi, Barry.- Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good.- Hear about Frankie. - Yeah.- You going to the funeral?- No, I'm not going.Everybody knows,sting someone, you die.Don't waste it on a squirrel.Such a hothead.I guess he could have  
just gotten out of the way.I love this incorporating an amusement park into our day.That's why we don't need vacations.Boy, quite a bit of pomp...under the circumstances.- Well, Adam, today we are men.- We are!- Bee-men.- Amen!Hallelujah!

 

phichit+chu: Now I've heard there was a secret chord That David played, and it pleased the Lord  
But you don't really care for music, do you?It goes like this The fourth, the fifth The minor fall, the major lift The baffled king composing Hallelujah Hallelujah Hallelujah Hallelujah Hallelujah  
Your faith was strong but you needed proof You saw her bathing on the roof Her beauty and the moonlight overthrew you She tied you to a kitchen chair She broke your throne, and she cut your hair And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah Hallelujah, Hallelujah Hallelujah, Hallelujah  
You say I took the name in vain I don't even know the name But if I did, well really, what's it to you? There's a blaze of light In every word It doesn't matter which you heard The holy or the broken Hallelujah Hallelujah Hallelujah Hallelujah Hallelujah I did my best, it wasn't much  
I couldn't feel, so I tried to touch I've told the truth, I didn't come to fool you And even though it all went wrong I'll stand before the Lord of Song With nothing on my tongue but Hallelujah  
Hallelujah, Hallelujah Hallelujah, Hallelujah Hallelujah, Hallelujah Hallelujah, Hallelujah Hallelujah, Hallelujah Hallelujah, Hallelujah Hallelujah, Hallelujah Hallelujah, Hallelujah Hallelujah

 

leo_dli: FUICKCNBIKC I HTYEA THIS SO MUCHHHH

 

yuuri_katsuki: omg guys

 

yuuri_katsuki: ur gross

 

leo_dli: FINALLY SOMEONE WITH COMMON SENSE

 

yuuri_katsuki: you forgot the most important one!

 

yuuri_katsuki: Hi my name is Ebony Dark’ness Dementia Raven Way and I have long ebony black hair (that’s how I got my name) with purple streaks and red tips that reaches my mid-back and icy blue eyes like limpid tears and a lot of people tell me I look like Amy Lee (AN: if u don’t know who she is get da hell out of here!). I’m not related to Gerard Way but I wish I was because he’s a major fucking hottie. I’m a vampire but my teeth are straight and white. I have pale white skin. I’m also a witch, and I go to a magic school called Hogwarts in England where I’m in the seventh year (I’m seventeen). I’m a goth (in case you couldn’t tell) and I wear mostly black. I love Hot Topic and I buy all my clothes from there. For example today I was wearing a black corset with matching lace around it and a black leather miniskirt, pink fishnets and black combat boots. I was wearing black lipstick, white foundation, black eyeliner and red eye shadow. I was walking outside Hogwarts. It was snowing and raining so there was no sun, which I was very happy about. A lot of preps stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them.

 

leo_dli: ASKIDUJEUJHE I HATE HUOYOUNKKNWD

 

leo_dli: THATSD IT

 

leo_dli: THISW IS THE LAST STRAW

 

leo_dli: GGOODBYE CHAT OF SIN

 

 

leo_dli deleted "suck it jj"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> rest in pepperoni suck it jj


	18. " ♡(இ﹏இ`｡)♡"

phichit+chu created a group chat

 

 

phichit+chu renamed chat to "Wake up bitches its hoe o clock"

 

 

Sent 12-16-15 at 05:39

 

phichit+chu: whats the straight equivalent of that one bruno mars gay thing?

 

leo_dli: ?

 

leo_dli: why?

 

phichit+chu: its important i need to know for my free fanfic and my internet is down

 

leo_dli: how r u texting

 

phichit+chu: i got data

 

phichit+chu: so u in or no?

 

leo_dli: ...ok?

 

phichit+chu: thnks boo now activate ur mind powers (or google) and think!

 

leo_dli: um

 

leo_dli: idk shit someone help me

 

+guanghongji+: hm

 

+guanghongji+: since "there is a rumor comes out about his gay. " we know its a (probably) false rumor abt his sexuality

 

+guanghongji+: and this is in free context right?? Where everyone is gay?

 

phichit+chu: yeah?

 

+guanghongji+: so…

 

+guanghongji+: "Haruka Nanase is straight is the most discussed in the media in the few years ago. Even it has happened in 2014, but some of the public still curious about what is exactly happening and to be the reason there is a rumor comes out about his straight. At that time he became the massive social networking rumor. The public, especially his fans are shocked. He just came out with his bad rumor which is spread massively. This time is not about his swimming career, but his bad rumor. The rumor is out of standardize of hoax, according the last reported this swimmer revealed himself as heterosexual. Do you still believe or not, this rumor is really much talked by people even in a person of his fans."

 

+guanghongji+: either that or "no homo"

 

phichit+chu: omg thank u!!!!

 

+guanghongji+: ur welcome bff :)

 

phichit+chu: :)

 

leo_dli: ༼ (´・ｪ・`) ༽

 

leo_dli: u confuse me so much phichit 

 

 

phichit+chu posted a photo: when u stay up all night writing #fanfic #donttellyuuri 

 

862 Comments

 

yuuri_katsuki: ...u know i can see this right?

 

phichit+chu: ...shit

 

 

Sent 12-16-15 at 06:12

 

yuuri_katsuki: phichit

 

yuuri_katsuki: go to bed

 

phichit+chu: i dont want to!

 

yuuri_katsuki: phichit

 

phichit+chu: yuuri

 

yuuri_katsuki: we r not stealing leojis thing

 

yuuri_katsuki: just

 

yuuri_katsuki: sleep

 

phichit+chu: why do u care so much

 

yuuri_katsuki: i cant sleep knowing ur not ok

 

yuuri_katsuki: I worry abt you phichit bc i care so much for you

 

phichit+chu: ｡ﾟ( ﾟஇ‸இﾟ+)ﾟ｡

 

phichit+chu: YUURI

 

phichit+chu: IM CRYING YOURE THE BEST FRIEND EVER ILY SO MUCH

 

yuuri_katsuki: yeah...well you are too

 

yuuri_katsuki: get some rest okay?

 

phichit+chu: ♡(இ﹏இ`｡)♡

 

phichit+chu: okay!

 

 

Three Musketeers

 

Sent 12-16-15 at 06:44

 

phichit+chu: I lied to yuuri

 

phichit+chu: dont tell him im awake

 

leo_dli: omg phichit go to bed

 

phichit+chu: im ur elder i dont have to listen to you!

 

leo_dli: by one year! thats nothing!

 

phichit+chu: a year makes a lot of difference kid

 

+guanghongji+: what is sleep? i never seem to get any with you people always texting

 

phichit+chu: suck it up honey

 

phichit+chu: if one of us loses sleep, we all do

 

leo_dli: why tho

 

phichit+chu: Together, together, together everyone Together, together, come on let's have some fun Together, were there for each other every time Together, together come on lets do this right  
Troy:Here and now it's time for celebration To finally figure it out That all our dreams have no limitations That's what it's all about Gabi:Everyone is special in their own way We make each other strong Were not the same Were different in a good way Together's where we belong All:  
We're all in this together Once we know That we are We're all stars And we see that We're all in this together And it shows When we stand Hand in hand Make our dreams come true Together, together, together everyone Together, together, come on lets have some fun Together, were there for each other every time Together together come on lets do this right Ryan:We're all here And speaking out in one voice Were going to rock the house The party's on now everybody make some noise Come on scream and shout Sharpay:We've arrived because we stuck together  
Champions one and all All: We're all in this together Once we know That we are We're all stars And we see that We're all in this together And it shows When we stand Hand in hand Make our dreams come We're all in this together When we reach We can fly Go in sight We can make it We're all in this together Once we see There's a chance That we have And we take it Wild cats sing along You know really got it going on Wild cats in the house Everybody say it now Wild cats everywhere Wave your hands up in the air That's the way we do it Let's get to it Time to show the world We're all in this together Once we know That we are We're all stars And we see that We're all in this together And it shows When we stand Hand in hand Make our dreams come We're all in this together When we reach We can fly Go in sight We can make it We're all in this together Once we see There's a chance That we have And we take it Wild cats everywhere Wave your hands up in the air That's the way we do it Let's get to it Come on everyone

 

leo_dli: GO TO SLEEP YOU FCKIN BEDSHEET

 

phichit+chu: I fucking told you guys to stop it and post your bullshit without me. Don't add me back. There are various reasons why I don't wanna have shit in this chat one of it being that I get flashbacks and it really kills all the mood I have. And that it just hurts to get said flashbacks. I told you guys multiple times to stop it and all you did is make fun of me. I won't tell you guys the reason why I get flashbacks but that's about it. I made my point clear and got laughed at. This isn't a place I wanna be anymore then.  
I can ready see your comments being "omg so much salt xDDdD" but I don't care. When you started posting shit and you said that I am posting dick pics which you don't like as well I stopped it. And instead of saying "well alright he stopped gotta give him that" you guys bring up month old shit that isn't even relevant anymore.  
Also this is one of the reasons i don't tell you guys any major secrets. I can't trust people that make fun of me while I try to explain that I don't wanna have said content here. And then various times where you guys spread stuff I told you not to spread. Just too many reasons not to tell you any secrets and too less to do it. That being said it was a fun time with you guys. I really enjoyed trolling the everyone and being in the group of The topkek memers.  
Was a fun time with you guys.  
Today you lost a memer. Goodbye.

 

leo_dli: GOOD.BYE.

 

 

Sent 12-16-15 at 07:22

 

yuuri_katsuki: Victor

 

yuuri_katsuki: phichit woke me up and I cant fall asleep

 

yuuri_katsuki: but I want to sleep

 

yuuri_katsuki: ugh

 

yuuri_katsuki: who am i even kidding

 

yuuri_katsuki: youre probably sleeping

 

yuuri_katsuki: sorry

 

v-nikiforov: you want to come to my room?

 

yuuri_katsuki: ...wont I be intruding

 

v-nikiforov: ur my fiance

 

v-nikiforov: plus you already intruded on my life a year ago

 

yuuri_katsuki: oh. sorry.

 

v-nikiforov: but I couldnt be happier!

 

yuuri_katsuki: oh

 

v-nikiforov: come here yuuri

 

yuuri_katsuki: ...okay

 

v-nikiforov: ♡〜٩( ╹▿╹ )۶〜♡

 

 

v-nikiforov posted a photo: sleepy~╰(✿´⌣`✿)╯♡ #socute #yuuri #naptime

 

432 Comments

 

christophe-gc: You two are so cute

 

christophe-gc: *sigh*

 

christophe-gc: if only my lover were as dedicated to me as you are to each other

 

v-nikiforov: do you ever stop complaining chris

 

christophe-gc: ;)

 

v-nikiforov: huh

 

lulu-tori: @v-nikiforov I WOKE UP MY HOUSE FROM SCREAMING

 

binny_ktes: @lulu-tori ME TOO WTF

 

v-nikiforov: :D

 

binny_ktes: @wunderworld VICTOR INDIRECTED ME I CANT BELIEVE-

 

wunderworld: no fair! Ive been trying for years

 

ilias-not-here: @christophe-gc I LOVE YOU CHRIS

 

tommy!69: @christophe-gc you really inspire me with your intoxicated routine ;)

 

christophe-gc: @tommy!69 glad i could help

 

christophe-gc: nice username btw ;)

 

tommy!69: ;)

 

marine-ship: ew get off of victor's page u dirty person! thats gross!

 

julias_trumpet: yeah!!!! victor doesnt deserve this!!!!!1!!

 

v-nikiforov: over the years chris has damaged me enough. i think im alright

 

christophe-gc: so cruel :(

 

v-nikiforov: chris

 

v-nikiforov: last year you showed up in my hotel room naked

 

christophe-gc: i thought it was strip poker night!

 

v-nikiforov: you usually start off dressed though!

 

christophe-gc: ...reverse strip poker

 

 

Wake up bitches its hoe o clock

 

Sent 12-16-15 at 09:43

 

emil-nekola: wow

 

emil-nekola: another chat?

 

emil-nekola: i thought for sure id be kicked off!

 

kenjirou-m: no we love u emil!

 

emil-nekola: thanks...whats ur name again? Sorry

 

kenjirou-m: knejirou minami!

 

emil-nekola: ah thank you minami!

 

kenjirou-m: (☆^ー^☆)

 

+guanghongji+: aw minami is so cute

 

+guanghongji+: i like him

 

leo_dli: then why dont you talk more?

 

+guanghongji+: T҉̢̢̛̭̭͕̥͉͠ͅH̵̜̹̱͚̕͡ͅE̸̛̛̹̠͍̹̩̭̞̫͈͎̗̯͜͜R̷̸̢͘͏̩̮͓̳E̸̡̢̧̝͎̞̖͕ ̨̛̭̤̥̟̫̮̱͍̲̭̞͕̣͚͘͝C̡̨̛͎̫̻̦͍̻̰̯̼̦̦͜͞A̵̪̜̝̤̺̤̮̱͘N̵̛͟҉̩̖͙̠͖̞̪̠̫ ̩͓̯͕̗̗͕͍͢͟͢͠Ǫ̴̛̛͍̠̲̠͙Ṋ̴̛͎̗̹͍̺̘̣̯Ĺ̸͠͠͏͕̬̩̩̯̥̮Y̡̜͇̤͔̪͖͇̰̻̮͈̻̹̭̕͘͠ ̴̶̣̺̱͇͈̙̕͜B͎̻̥̮̞͝͞Ę̴̧̱͖̤̖͉̻̬̦͙̹̯̥̝̣̥̟̰͟͞ ̨̨̡̜͍̱̫͕̲̺̞͕͖̞̬͔͖͠O̶̩͕͖͇̹͔͇̼͇͙͓̻͓͠ͅN̵̵̛̪̟͙̤̖̙̯͝Ę̴̩̹̹͎̘͉̩͔̮̳̮̞͈̫

 

leo_dli: …

 

leo_dli: chill GH

 

+guanghongji+: Ẁ҉̶̛̬͇͈͚̳̙̤̀H̷̸̷̬̤̱̮̪̲͇̗͟Y̷̵̼͟͡ͅͅ

 

leo_dli: .

 

leo_dli: chill

 

+guanghongji+: W͙͕̬̦̗͙̳̠̘͖̗̯̱̣͙͓̖͜͢͠͞ͅH̢̦̦̦̙̦͎͖͘͜͡͡Y̨̙̼̺̹͓̗̘͚̬͜͜͠ ̧̠̣̜̭̲̣͢͠S̷̝͖̭͓͎͉͝H͙̣͔͎͉̩͔͙̰͡Ò̴̧͞҉̦̗͙̭̣͙̣̹̦̭̥̗̺̜̭ͅU̵̷͢͠͏̳̟̩̻L̵̪̰͚̲̩̲̣̟͕̫͖̮̘̝̜D̲͚̝͇̪͈͙̥͉̠̕͟͜ ̴̧͎̦̯̱̳̣̟͓͔I҉̴̨̠̮͔͇͝͠

 

leo_dli: .

 

leo_dli: ji

 

+guanghongji+: NO HOW COULD YOU

 

+guanghongji+: GOODBYE TO THE YEAR OF WORKING UP TO FIRST NAME BASIS

 

+guanghongji+: GOODBYE TO THE BEST (AND ONLY) RELATIONSHIP IVE EVER HAD

 

+guanghongji+: GOODBYE TO THIS CRUEL WORLD

 

+guanghongji+: ( ⚈̥̥̥̥̥́⌢⚈̥̥̥̥̥̀)

 

leo_dli: omg stop being dramatic

 

+guanghongji+: ˚‧º·(˚ ˃̣̣̥᷄⌓˂̣̣̥᷅ )‧º·˚

 

leo_dli: ji

 

+guanghongji+: whatll it be next? calling me ji-ji?!?!

 

+guanghongji+: ｡ﾟ( ﾟஇ‸இﾟ)ﾟ｡

 

leo_dli: ...im sorry

 

+guanghongji+: .・゜゜・（／。＼）・゜゜・．

 

leo_dli: …

 

leo_dli: ...guang-hong, my darling, my ray of sunshine, my rainbow after a rainy day, my light, the love overflowing in my heart, the one person always on my mind, my dear, my lovely boyfriend, my soulmate, my sweetheart, my world, my sweet prince, cupcake, my angel, dearest, the reason i continue on, my everything

 

leo_dli: ...chill

 

+guanghongji+: YOU JERK

 

leo_dli: wait!

 

+guanghongji+: ?

 

leo_dli: ...ily

 

+guanghongji+: …

 

+guanghongji+: bye

 

leo_dli: NO!!!!

 

yuri-plisetsky: WHY DO YOU TWO ALWAYS HAVE FUCKING DRAMA ON THE CHAT

 

yuri-plisetsky: I KNOW YOU HAVE UR OWN CHAT GO THERE INSTEAD.

 

emil-nekola: ...well this got awkward quickly

 

seung-gillee: it always does

 

emil-nekola: i think that its probably best if i stay off here more often

 

seung-gillee: perhaps

 

seung-gillee: or you could sit quietly on the sidelines and watch the show

 

seung-gillee: you get blackmail and entertainment 

 

emil-nekola: i could never blackmail someone!

 

seung-gillee: ...your loss

 

 

Sent 12-16-15 at 10:43

 

leo_dli: phichit

 

leo_dli: wake up

 

phichit+chu: lol i was never asleep in the first place

 

leo_dli: WHY DO YOU KEEP LYING

 

phichit+chu: why not?

 

leo_dli: ugh

 

phichit+chu: ur being overdramatic

 

leo_dli: am not

 

phichit+chu: “I was born with glass bones and paper skin. Every morning I break my legs, and every afternoon I break my arms. At night, I lie awake in agony until my heart attacks put me to sleep.”

 

leo_dli: shut up

 

phichit+chu: "Don't say another Goddamn word. Up until now, I've been polite. If you say ANYTHING else - ONE word - I will kill myself. And when my tainted spirit finds its destination, I will topple the Master of that dark place. From my black throne, I will lash together a machine of bone and blood, and fueled by my hatred for you this Fear Engine will bore a hole between this world and that one. When it begins, you will hear the sound of children screaming -as though from a great distance. A smoking orb of NOTHING will grow above your bed, and from it will emerge a thousand starving crows. As I slip through the widening maw in my new form, you will catch only a glimpse of my radiance before you are incinerated. Then, as tears of bubbling pitch stream down my face, my dark world will begin. I will open one of my six mouths, and I will sing the song that ends the Earth."

 

leo_dli: oh my god

 

phichit+chu: "Shut up kid, That's what you call jealousy, And just to let you know kid, I'm a cop, And it's not Copy-Right at all, As the video, Has no "Copy-Right" law on it from the creator, And what your doing is called "Cyber-Bulling" if you've ever heard of it, So I'd stick to your video's and leave Josh alone..."

 

leo_dli: i was going to ask for relationship advice, but now im leaving

 

phichit+chu: "Lies, slander, and prejudice.  
Why am I bothering wasting time with you? My only recompense is I am only doing it when drunk. Unlike yourself.  
I will not reply, nor read any more of your messages. They are too laborious, predictable, and logically flawed. I shall wait until you've grown up a bit.  
This account was made for fun times. You don't fit in with that theme. And with that, I move both onwards and upwards.  
I would say 'goodbye', but I'd rather just say 'bye'.  
... I'll say neither."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ngl i think phichit's fanfic would suck :/


	19. "oW I LANDE DON MY HEAD"

Wake up bitches its hoe o clock

 

Sent 12-18-15 at 12:01

 

phichit+chu: GUYYYSSSS

 

phichit+chu: GUESS WHATTT

 

yuuri_katsuki: Hm? you havent been sleeping lately?

 

phichit+chu: NO

 

phichit+chu: well yes, but thats not it!!!!!

 

phichit+chu: think BIGGER

 

christophe-gc: you sucked sg's dick

 

phichit+chu: he doesnt have one

 

christophe-gc: o right

 

phichit+chu: im thinking BIGGER

 

v-nikiforov: you sucked chris hemsworth's dick?

 

phichit+chu: haha I WISH

 

phichit+chu: but ur all wrong!

 

phichit+chu: I finished my FF!

 

yuuri_katsuki: ...oh

 

leo_dli: oh the one you lost a lot of sleep over?

 

phichit+chu: the very one!

 

+guanghongji+: i wanna read it!

 

phichit+chu: ok!

 

phichit+chu: [FF](https://docs.google.com/document/d/1SoubWWPk01JG06MnQ0UQlrwk9EHy7sANztrOiKZOpgk/edit)

 

+guanghongji+: omg yes! everyone read it!

 

yuuri_katsuki: ....fine

 

 

Wake up bitches its hoe o clock

 

Sent 12-18-15 at 12:12

 

phichit+chu: MAKE A WISH

 

+guanghongji+: I wish Leo would be nicer

 

leo_dli: we made up!

 

+guanghongji+: ik im just teasing

 

leo_dli: thank god

 

phichit+chu: SO???? WHAT DID U THINK????

 

yuuri_katsuki: it was short

 

v-nikiforov: are those two characters romantically involved?

 

phichit+chu: open to interpretation

 

v-nikiforov: why

 

phichit+chu: u never know who could get me...

 

phichit+chu: im only straightforward abt reigisa tbh

 

phichit+chu: theyre the main ship

 

kenjirou-m: same!

 

kenjirou-m: but sourin holds a special place in my heart <3

 

+guanghongji+: SAME

 

leo_dli: i have literally no idea what ur talking abt but ok

 

kenjirou-m: its probably for the best leo!

 

+guanghongji+: agreed

 

phichit+chu: omg the three of us should have our on gc! bye leo!

 

leo_dli: :'(

 

 

phichit+chu created a group chat

 

 

phichit+chu renamed chat to "FREE! FROM RESPONSIBILITIES"

 

 

+guanghongji+: omg

 

kenjirou-m: i like the chat name!

 

phichit+chu: soooooooo

 

phichit+chu: should i write more?

 

+guanghongji+: write reigisa! they dont get enough love!

 

phichit+chu: ok!

 

kenjirou-m: but remember to get some sleep phichit!

 

phichit+chu: ....no promises

 

 

Wake up bitches it hoe o clock

 

 

yuri-plisetsky renamed chat to "cereal"

 

 

v-nikiforov: why cereal?

 

yuri-plisetsky: i started eating it today. its very good.

 

v-nikiforov: which kind?

 

yuri-plisetsky: captain crunch

 

v-nikiforov: cheerios are better, taste wise and health wise

 

yuri-plisetsky: keep your opinions to yourself old man

 

v-nikiforov: :(

 

yuuri_katsuki: i like trix

 

v-nikiforov: of course you'd like the sugary cereal~

 

yuuri_katsuki: im .5 seconds away from throwing you off the couch

 

v-nikiforov: i mean bc youre so sweet!

 

v-nikiforov: guess i gotta take it back tho...

 

v-nikiforov: oW I LANDE DON MY HEAD

 

yuri-plisetsky: lol

 

yuuri_katsuki: im hungry

 

v-nikiforov: oh me too!

 

yuuri_katsuki: ok lunch will be ready soon

 

v-nikiforov: what are we having love <3

 

yuuri_katsuki: trix

 

v-nikiforov: IVE BEEN FOOLED

 

yuri-plisetsky: lol i think u mean "Trixed"

 

v-nikiforov: i have a migraine now

 

yuri-plisetsky: bc of us or bc u fell on ur head

 

v-nikiforov: idk

 

v-nikiforov: either way i feel like im dying

 

yuri-plisetsky: impossible

 

v-nikiforov: ?

 

yuri-plisetsky: Victor Nikiforov is already dead

 

v-nikiforov: jfc im going to bed

 

v-nikiforov: goodbye cruel world

 

yuri-plisetsky: [oops](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6f6m90BbCu4)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> short chapter bc i literally wrote a fucking free fic for this. ur welcome.
> 
> also i guess i lied when i said i was avoiding the free shipping discourse in the comments? idk i just wrote whatever was in my head. sorry if ur offended for some reason :/


	20. "he gay,,, im a gay,,, we r made to be,,, clearly"

Cereal

 

Sent 12-20-15 at 19:14

 

phichit+chu: MAKING MY WAY DOWNTOWN WALKING moderately

 

yuuri_katsuki: well walk faster. ur gonna miss ur flight

 

phichit+chu: JAL has never been early Yuuri~

 

yuuri_katsuki: still...

 

v-nikiforov: I know the pain! Aeroflot keeps me waiting forever!

 

phichit+chu: la la la~ airports are gross~

 

phichit+chu: old ppl with the plague~ children screaming~ a few rabid fans~

 

phichit+chu: omg this ad is definitely not appropriate for young children

 

phichit+chu: guys did u know Suvarnabhumi is actually Europe, mid 1300's

 

phichit+chu: aN ELDER SNEEZED ON ME EWWWW

 

phichit+chu: IM TOO CUTE TO DIE

 

leo_dli: you sound like a vlogger lol

 

phichit+chu: omg yes

 

phichit+chu: I’ll call my channel "Anxiety on Ice"

 

yuri-plisetsky: ur a fckin ripoff of my "Depression on Ice" comic

 

phichit+chu: lmao

 

yuuri_katsuki: ?????

 

yuuri_katsuki: you ripped that from ME

 

v-nikiforov: is yura learning to put his angst to good use? let me see~

 

yuri-plisetsky: fuck off

 

v-nikiforov: pretty please~

 

yuri-plisetsky: [DOI.png](https://68.media.tumblr.com/c18d7e5909d31fe16cb83eed0342a8c8/tumblr_oign872DqJ1vnwm1to1_540.png)

 

v-nikiforov: Σ(‘◉⌓◉’)

 

 

Sent 12-20-15 at 19:20

 

m_babicheva: im supposed to help you through ur issues

 

m_babicheva: (?)

 

yuri-plisetsky: did victor put you up to this

 

m_babicheva: no

 

m_babicheva: (yes)

 

yuri-plisetsky: that bastard

 

m_babicheva: is there anything u need

 

m_babicheva: (im rlly sorry)

 

m_babicheva: movie night? a cuddle buddy? warm milk and cookies? (i m d y i n g)

 

yuri-plisetsky: more like a will to live

 

yuri-plisetsky: can victor see these messages

 

m_babicheva: victor who?

 

m_babicheva: (select ones)

 

yuri-plisetsky: could you pass something on from me to him?

 

m_babicheva: anything for my perfect-est little rink mate!

 

m_babicheva: (make it quick)

 

yuri-plisetsky: how about you tell him

 

yuri-plisetsky: TO MIND HIS OWN FUCKING BUSINESS

 

m_babicheva: language yura! smile~

 

m_babicheva: (ok)

 

yuri-plisetsky: Plisetsky out

 

 

Cereal

 

Sent 12-20-15 at 20:03

 

+guanghongji+: ...anyway, onto a more serious topic

 

 

+guanghongji+ changed chat name to "jingle bitch rock"

 

 

+guanghongji+: im marrying leo hes officially off the market

 

leo_dli: ?

 

leo_dli: ur not off the market til ur married?

 

+guanghongji+: the marriage market is different

 

leo_dli: ...okay?

 

+guanghongji+: perfect. i want a spring wedding.

 

+guanghongji+: lots of flowers. my nose will probably run but idc.

 

+guanghongji+: aesthetic or die

 

leo_dli: ok

 

kenjirou-m: where is gay marriage legal though?

 

leo_dli: america, argentina, belgium, brazil, spain

 

leo_dli: just to name a few

 

kenjirou-m: oh so u can get married in your country!

 

leo_dli: as of June, yes!

 

kenjirou-m: wow!

 

kenjirou-m: i wish my country was like that...

 

kenjirou-m: oh but its legal in spain?

 

phichit+chu: （°͜ʖ͡°͜)

 

phichit+chu: THATS WHY I THOUGHT THEY GOT MARRIED

 

phichit+chu: ITS A REASONABLE MISTAKE

 

phichit+chu: not like yuuri tells me anything anyway///

 

yuuri_katsuki: oh be quiet

 

yuuri_katsuki: did u pay for wifi

 

phichit+chu: hell yeah

 

phichit+chu: cant live w/o the shitposts

 

yuuri_katsuki: please dont

 

phichit+chu: tOO LATE

 

phichit+chu: Omg hai __^ I’m Ai-san and I absolutely luuuv @_@ anime <3 and my fav is naurto!!! Okies so anyways, im going to tell you about the BEST day of my life when I met my hot husband sasuke!! <333333333 OMFGZ HE WAS SOOOOO FREAKIN KAWAII IN PERSON!!! Supa kawaii desu!!!!!!!!  
^___________________________________^  
When I walked onto Tokyo street =____ ^^^=I looked up and saw…SASUKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <33333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333!!!! “ KONNICHIWA OMGZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ SUPA SUPA SUPA KAWAII SASUKE-SAMA!!!!!” I yelled n____n then he turned chibi then un-chibi!! he looked at me [O.O;;;;;;;;;;;] and then he saw how hot I am *___* he grabbed my hand and winked ~_^ then pulled me behind a pocky shop o_o and started to kiss me!!!!!! [OMG!!! HIS TOUNGE TASTED LIKE RAMEN!!! RLY!! >.> .< (^O^^) (^O^^) (^O^^) ] then I saw some baka fat bitch watching us and I could tell she was undressing him with her eyes!!!!!!! [ -________-** ;;;;; OMG I COULDN’T BELIEVE IT EITHER!!! (ò_ó) (ò_ó) (ò_ó)] so I yelled “UH UH BAKA NEKO THAT’S MY MAN WHY DON’T YOU GO HOOK UP WITH NARUTO CAUSE SASUKE-SAMA LOVES ME!!! (ò_ó)” then sasuke held me close =^= and said he would only ever love me and kissed me again!!!!!!! ** (O)/ then we went to his apartment and banged all night long and made 42 babies and they all became ninjas!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Nyaaaaa!!!

 

leo_dli: christ phichit

 

phichit+chu: I have felt the same way many times. I have heard so many stories from people I know very well that they couldn't hear his voice at first. I know it is very very very frustrating at time but you cannot cannot give up. I am always praying for you if you didn't know. I always pray for the most important people in my life. Now is the time to pray harder and tell God that you are having trouble with faith. Trust me that he will listen and be there. God gives us our answers in many ways. Not just talking back. You just have to have persistence with him, I really don't want you to give up on him. I know that I seem like one of the most catholic and holy people you know but I have trouble too. A lot of trouble sometimes and it makes me so mad when bad things happen or I don't feel a connection. I found what helps me is prayer through writing in a journal. I try to write in a prayer journal every night and just talk. Talk to him about anything that's going on, good and bad. Trust me it works sooooo well. It would break my heart and Gods heart to see you give up on faith Sophie. Sometimes even praying to Mary can be just as effective. Ask her for her intercession to help you not give up on God. Pray to your favorite saint, st Therese actually is a great one because she feel in love with the Lord at such a young age, 15 so praying to her will help. Sophie if you ever need to talk about more I'm here. I encourage you to maybe go with my to my youth group this year because it's very effective. I encourage you to even say I love you God at random times because that's a prayer. I also love listening to 4 songs that give me a spring in my step and make me believe. Lay me down by Passion  
Forever reign by Hillsong  
Wide as the sky by Matt redman  
The lost are found by Hillsong  
I love you so much and SO DOES GOD. Do not give up. ❤

 

leo_dli: .

 

phichit+chu: ATTENTION 2003 KIDS!!! This is the last year of being a kid! Because NEXT YEAR! We gon be T33N4G3RS!! PARTYING! DRINKING ! MAKING OUT AND SEX ! PERIODS ! HEARTBREAKS ! MIDDLE SCHOOL SOPHOMORES (7TH GRADE)

 

v-nikiforov: is that yura

 

yuri-plisetsky: you dont mock periods man. you just dont. they hurt like hell. id rather jump off a building.

 

phichit+chu: i relate

 

phichit+chu: Oh really, is the "Alfredo" really that good? Jesus Christ, you know it's literally butter and cheese melted onto pasta, right? I'm sure my 6 year old self would have loved it. See girls, I'm a man, a man of complex taste (marked by my choice in tobacco flavored vape juice, as opposed to that fruity stuff neck beards puff). If I were to compromise my meal plan. and that's a big if, I would choose something far more complex such as the seafood risotto, as not only is it far more delicious, it's made in a way that I feel properly represents me; hard to duplicate, takes time, ingredients need to be mixed in methodically, and the final result is heavenly. I know you're not used to a real alpha like me, and I know a lot of betas around here say things that may be hurtful to you and the thought of you hurting tears me apart inside. Never settle baby girl and know that you deserve the best out of this life.

 

leo_dli: y i k e s

 

yuuri_katsuki: r u done yet

 

phichit+chu: wait one more

 

phichit+chu: what in Davy Jones' locker did ye just bark at me, ye scurvy bilgerat? I'll have ye know I be the meanest cutthroat on the seven seas, and I've led numerous raids on fishing villages, and raped over 300 wenches. I be trained in hit-and-run pillaging and be the deadliest with a pistol of all the captains on the high seas. Ye be nothing to me but another source o' swag. I'll have yer guts for garters and keel haul ye like never been done before, hear me true. You think ye can hide behind your newfangled computing device? Think twice on that, scallywag. As we parley I be contacting my secret network o' pirates across the sea and yer port is being tracked right now so ye better prepare for the typhoon, weevil. The kind o' monsoon that'll wipe ye off the map. You're sharkbait, fool. I can sail anywhere, in any waters, and can kill ye in o'er seven hundred ways, and that be just with me hook and fist. Not only do I be top o' the line with a cutlass, but I have an entire pirate fleet at my beck and call and I'll damned sure use it all to wipe yer arse off o' the world, ye dog. If only ye had had the foresight to know what devilish wrath your jibe was about to incur, ye might have belayed the comment. But ye couldn't, ye didn't, and now ye'll pay the ultimate toll, you buffoon. I'll shit fury all over ye and ye'll drown in the depths o' it. You're fish food now, lad.

 

+guanghongji+: is that...the navy seals meme?

 

phichit+chu: ;)

 

phichit+chu: anyway im done

 

yuuri_katsuki: thanks

 

phichit+chu: i just downloaded a new game!

 

leo_dli: which one?

 

phichit+chu: Mystic Messenger <3

 

leo_dli: ?

 

phichit+chu: its an otome game~

 

leo_dli: ????

 

phichit+chu: ugh

 

phichit+chu: texting pretty boys

 

leo_dli: ohhhhh

 

phichit+chu: anyone else play?

 

+guanghongji+: ofc

 

kenjirou-m: yes! I love Yoosung!

 

phichit+chu: ayyy its the squad!

 

phichit+chu: lmao leos left out again

 

leo_dli: im so confused

 

+guanghongji+: i like seven the best tbh

 

phichit+chu: um,,,what abt jumin

 

phichit+chu: he gay,,, im a gay,,, we r made to be,,, clearly

 

phichit+chu: plus he looks a lil like bae lol

 

seung-gillee: i like phichit

 

seung-gillee: phichit makes me happy

 

+guanghongji+: aWWWW

 

phichit+chu: <3

 

kenjirou-m: what abt yoosung though? hes very cute!

 

kenjirou-m: and he likes video games!

 

phichit+chu: i have to admit, jumin's thing with his cat is worrying, esp because my precious lil hamsters would be in danger (!o!;)

 

seung-gillee: kiss him not me

 

+guanghongji+: lol

 

+guanghongji+: well I like seven bc hes very cute. i think i have a thing for glasses (//O//O//)

 

phichit+chu: lol me too

 

seung-gillee: do sunglasses count

 

phichit+chu: as long as theyre not on the top of ur head like an asshole does then yes :)

 

phichit+chu: @ jj somewhere out there in the universe: take notes

 

+guanghongji+: sevens route is too much tho. i cried a lot. :(

 

kenjirou-m: yoosung's made me cry. hes so precious and sweet. he did nothing wrong. hes perfect.

 

yuri-plisetsky: if u wanna date the guy who sees his dead cousin in u then ok...be my guest...

 

phichit+chu: OMG YURI YOU PLAY MM????

 

yuri-plisetsky: better than dating irl

 

phichit+chu: oH MY GOD IM SO HAPEKPR

 

yuri-plisetsky: english? or russian preferably

 

phichit+chu: NO LANGUAGE CAN COMMUNICATE WHAT I FEEL FOR U

 

phichit+chu: no homo.

 

phichit+chu: iM JUST SO EXCITE

 

+guanghongji+: yay! gc?

 

yuri-plisetsky: hell no. im going to skype with otabek.

 

kenjirou-m: awwwwww yuri!

 

yuri-plisetsky: (´◉◞౪◟◉)

 

phichit+chu: ...nvm. bye.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know like nothing abt MM but oh well :)


	21. "CRYING IN THE CLUB"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> short chapter before I die tomorrow :)
> 
> Mystic Messenger next chapter bc I can finally be gay for my beautiful wife Jaehee!!! ahhh i cant wait for a new phone so i can download the game again!

Cereal

 

Sent 12-21-15 at 08:51

 

phichit+chu: I LOOOOOOOOOOOOVE YUURIS HOUSE

 

phichit+chu: ITS SO COZY AND ALWAYS SMELLS LIKE GOOD FOOD

 

phichit+chu: IM MOVING HERE BYE THAILAND

 

yuuri_katsuki: im not living with you again

 

phichit+chu: dont you love me?????????

 

yuuri_katsuki: no offence but you weren't exactly the neatest roommate....

 

phichit+chu: JUST BECAUSE YOU SAID NO OFFENSE DOESNT MEAN ITS NOT OFFENSIVE

 

yuuri_katsuki: sorry

 

phichit+chu: its ok~ gotta see bae soon anyway :)

 

yuuri_katsuki: right...

 

+guanghongji+: no fair!!!

 

phichit+chu: what are you whining about now little one?

 

+guanghongji+: I have to wait another week until I can see Leo and you just get to skip out to Japan whenever you want!

 

phichit+chu: yeah but thats like the only benefit of being an adult.

 

phichit+chu: i gotta pay bills man. bills.

 

+guanghongji+: i wish i didnt have to grow up

 

phichit+chu: i thought you were complaining just last week about being to young for everything?

 

+guanghongji+: ...

 

+guanghongji+: that was my doppelgänger. very evil.

 

phichit+chu: ok ji-ji

 

leo_dli: sorry GH

 

leo_dli: I just arrived at my grandmothers though!

 

+guanghongji+: im gonna go cry into my pillow.

 

leo_dli: oh no

 

phichit+chu: poor kid

 

yuuri_katsuki: you wanna hit the rink?

 

phichit+chu: yes! i even remembered my skates yuuri!

 

yuuri_katsuki: good. see you in...20?

 

phichit+chu: 10. ill race you.

 

yuuri_katsuki: pHICHIT

 

v-nikiforov: haha this time of year is so happy~

 

phichit+chu: ikr i love it. although we could still improve it.

 

v-nikiforov: true. whats a good song to play to set the mood~

 

phichit+chu: [sexy](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-gPuH1yeZ08)

 

v-nikiforov: what the fuck

 

 

phichit+chu posted a photo: These two~ #hasetsu #victuuri #skating #thirdwheeling

 

589 Comments

 

+guanghongji+: ˚‧º·(˚ ˃̣̣̥᷄⌓˂̣̣̥᷅ )‧º·˚

 

leo_dli: (๑°⌓°๑)

 

phichit+chu: there there ji-ji~

 

emil-nekola: do you have a pet? hug it if youre sad!

 

+guanghongji+: ...only a fish

 

emil-nekola: a stuffed animal then?

 

+guanghongji+: ...the lion leo gave me 。：゜(；´∩｀；)゜：。

 

emil-nekola: a family member?

 

+guanghongji+: my parents are at work...no siblings or other relatives...

 

emil-nekola: all alone? thats sad :(

 

+guanghongji+: ｡ﾟ( ﾟஇ‸இﾟ)ﾟ｡

 

+guanghongji+: NOW I FEEL WORSE

 

+guanghongji+: ˚‧º·(˚ ˃̣̣̥⌓˂̣̣̥ )‧º·˚

 

emil-nekola: IM SORRY!!!

 

leo_dli: its not ur fault emil. you can go if you want.

 

emil-nekola: okay...sorry...

 

phichit+chu: GH stop being a pissbaby all over my post

 

phichit+chu: this is supposed to be a happy, possibly intrusive post! how dare!

 

leo_dli: hey calm down both of you.

 

+guanghongji+: ｡:ﾟ(;´∩`;)ﾟ:｡

 

phichit+chu: leave

 

ryry-tw: dont be mean @phichit+chu ! hes sad!

 

illumi-natty: yeah!

 

lollipop!20: #ghprotectionsquad

 

poppy_non: #protectji2k15

 

winny-wondy: @phichit+chu u were my fave but ur mean so i like GH now! goodbye phichit fandom! i found a pure person to stan

 

guna.lock: Yeah! We should all stan GH instead! hes much more interesting!

 

una-luna: Trend #byephichit !

 

kiki_kats: #byephichit

 

money-mony: #byephichit

 

skate!2015: #byephichit

 

yuuri_katsuki: #byephichit

 

phichit+chu: OMG YUURI NOT U TOO

 

yuuri_katsuki: sorry...i found a real man to stan!

 

phichit+chu: ｡･ﾟ’(*/益＼*) ‘ﾟ･｡

 

holly-days: #byephichit

 

phichit+chu: ....

 

phichit+chu: #byephichit

 

 

+guanghongji+ posted a photo: I got 16K followers overnight??? wow! #byephichit #thnks #iloveu #<3

 

1700 Comments

 

phichit+chu: i cant believe

 

yurio-nice: #byephichit

 

phichit+chu: IM GONNA CRY INTO MY PILLOW

 

+guanghongji+: lol

 

leo_dli: wait so u unstan phichit because he was making fun of GH, but when GH does it u stay with him?

 

60.rockx: @leo_dli Ji is better! plus hes a minor! he doesnt know what hes saying!

 

lolgh-noi: yeah! hes only 17!

 

leo_dli: I-

 

phichit+chu: ‧º·(˚ ˃̣̣̥⌓˂̣̣̥ )‧º·˚

 

jia-proud: #byephichit

 

 

yuri-plisetsky posted a photo: @otabek-altin #snow #stpetersburg #winter

 

8000 Comments

 

otabek-altin: :)

 

yuri-plisetsky: :D

 

kittys-ears: AW!!!!! THEYRE SO IN LOVE!!!1!!!!

 

lokis-feet: I SHIP IT!!!1!

 

moan-joe: @lokis-feet ME TOOOO

 

funicu: I SHIP IT HARDER THAT VICTUURI XD

 

eyeles: OMG NO! VICTUURI TAKES CAKE XD

 

ilias-nightmare: OTAYURI LYFE!!!1!

 

jiana-keys: guys thats gross. yuri is like 15 and otabek is an adult. its pedophilia.

 

lenny-face: no its not! otabek is only about 2.5 years older! yuri is almost 16!

 

naty: yeah but otabek is almost 19. honestly you people are gross. dont ship minors with adults.

 

asa-kissu: DONT SHIP IRL PEOPLE. ESPECIALLY MINORS AND ADULTS. ITS HURTFUL AND WRONG.

 

kandy!: i cant hear u over the sound of how canon Otayuri is lol

 

pop-rocks: @kandy! SAME!

 

hunny-bear: @ haters just let us ship them in peace. i bet they dont even care!

 

whipped-kat: YEAH! OTAYURI LIFE! NO HATERS!

 

lucy-speaks: OTAYURI IS #CANON SUCK IT

 

 

Sent 12-22-15 at 11:30

 

m_babicheva: read the comments on Yuras new post. im dying.

 

sara-crispino: lmao theyre crazy

 

m_babicheva: 'ITS PEDOPHILIA OMG YURIS UNDERAGE" hahaha

 

m_babicheva: do they only think about sex?

 

m_babicheva: like...

 

m_babicheva: 1: u dont need sex in a relationship

 

m_babicheva: 2: yuri's ace

 

sara-crispino: exactly! i wish ppl would just leave them alone!

 

m_babicheva: whats more amusing: the person who commented on yuuri and victor's engagement announcement

 

sara-crispino: omg what does it say

 

m_babicheva: "This is disgusting pedophilia. yuuri is like 22 and victors like 30. disgusting"

 

m_babicheva: IM CRYING WTTFFFFF

 

sara-crispino: THEYRE SO THICKHEADED LMAO

 

m_babicheva: I GOTTA SEND THIS TO PHICHIT HELL ACTUALLY CRY

 

 

Sent 12-22-15 at 11:36

 

m_babicheva: lmao.png

 

phichit+chu: CRYING IN THE CLUB

 

m_babicheva: ME TOO

 

phichit+chu: yuuri just has to see this lmao

 

m_babicheva: haha do it :)

 

 

yuuri_katsuki posted a photo: maybe you should think before you speak (or in this case type) (;¬_¬) #imangry #googleexists #useit #immarryingvictoranyway #lol


	22. "stop roasting my face"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Very short chapter bc im v tired
> 
> no mm like promised bc im tired
> 
> fic is cancelled bc im tired
> 
> good night (im tired)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> writing this at 2 am bc i thought of chris bragging about how he sucked D for a tic tac and it escalated from there

Cereal 

 

Sent 12-24-15 at 19:17

 

christophe-gc: did u know i once sucked dick for a tic tac

 

phichit+chu: I feel like I should be surprised

 

v-nikiforov: whats the weirdest thing you've done for something in exchange?

 

christophe-gc: sucked dick for a tic tac

 

phichit+chu: you just can't top that i guess

 

v-nikiforov: and you phichit?

 

phichit+chu: me?

 

phichit+chu: hm...oh once i threw a chair at yuuri because another skater told me it was a ritual for good luck in america

 

yuuri_katsuki: i had a bruise on my cheek for a few weeks...

 

phichit+chu: at least you couldn't get less unattractive then you already were!

 

yuuri_katsuki: ...thanks phichit

 

v-nikiforov: and you yuuri?

 

yuuri_katsuki: uh...idk

 

v-nikiforov: you must have something

 

phichit+chu: OOOOH IK

 

phichit+chu: IN COLLEGE YUURI LOST A BET AND HAD TO TAKE 30 SHOTS. IM SURPRISED HE DIDNT DIE

 

yuuri_katsuki: THATS NOT EVEN AN EXCHANGE EXAMPLE YOURE JUST EVIL

 

phichit+chu: *cackles*

 

yuuri_katsuki: o always did suspect that you're a witch

 

phichit+chu: guess im Witchit now

 

yuuri_katsuki: .

 

leo_dli: that pun makes me want to cry

 

phichit+chu: your face makes me want to cry

 

leo_dli: stop roasting my face

 

v-nikiforov: what abt you leo

 

leo_dli: ?

 

phichit+chu: scroll up. too lazy to type.

 

leo_dli: i guess i did steal a cucumber from walmart for a homeless man

 

phichit+chu: why?

 

leo_dli: bc im a good person

 

phichit+chu: ??? you stole from walmart ???

 

leo_dli: for a hungry man

 

phichit+chu: ok but you couldve bought it?

 

leo_dli: i was like 9 shut up

 

phichit+chu: LEO DE LA IGLESIA HAS BEEN LEADING A LIFE OF CRIME SINCE HE WAS AN INFANT

 

yuuri_katsuki: This just in: nine year olds are infants

 

phichit+chu: yes

 

v-nikiforov: this is interesting

 

yuuri_katsuki: what about you victor? youve asked us about weird things weve done. its your turn now.

 

v-nikiforov: me?

 

v-nikiforov: well once upon a time...say a year ago... i fell in love with a certain drunk skater an a certain skating event in Barcelona

 

v-nikiforov: so i guess the weirdest thing ive ever done is fly to japan in hopes that yuuri katsuki would love me 

 

leo_dli: wow

 

phichit+chu: thats so...

 

yuuri_katsuki: pretentious 

 

v-nikiforov: :(

 

 

v-nikiforov posted a photo: when u get ur heart broken on christmas eve (another christmas :O) #yuurissomean #candidphotos #christmaseve

 

420 Comments

 

phichit+chu: blaze it

 

yuuri_katsuki: shut up

 

christophe-gc: thats a sexy angle u got going on there yuuri

 

yuuri_katsuki: victor take it down

 

v-nikiforov: make me

 

 

Cereal 

 

Sent 12-23-15 at 19:55

 

v-nikiforov: note to self:

 

v-nikiforov: never tell yuuri katsuki to make you do something

 

phichit+chu: lol i suffered back in the day

 

v-nikiforov: ughh this stain is never coming out

 

christophe-gc: what kind of stain ;)

 

v-nikiforov: mayonnaise and bleach. its not as sexy as id hoped.

 

christophe-gc: need me a freak like that

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> now that there's a ton of gc yoi fics i just feel kinda...discouraged to continue this i guess? i started this because i wanted to write one of those fun little stories no one takes seriously but can still get a laugh out of. but now that there are so many i just feel like the originality and humor of it all is getting drained out a bit. I understand that they're funny and that everyone wants to write one but the ones I've seen so far are just reusing ideas (or blatantly stealing parts) from other fics, and it kinda bothers me.
> 
> regardless, i'll continue to write this story, because i need to take my mind off school stress. it won't be my main focus anymore, though, so expect shorter chapters and less frequent updates. Sorry.


	23. "LVE MEE ALON WITH THAT KNIFEE"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> short chapter bc im tired

Cereal

 

Sent 12-25-15 at 09:33

 

 

phichit+chu changed chat name to "MERRY CHRYSLER"

 

 

leo_dli: its not even christmas here yet

 

phichit+chu: MERRY.FRICKEN.CHRYSLER

 

+guanghongji+: leo is such a grinch. first he turns me down then he wont even get into the spirit. #leosagrinch

 

leo_dli: thanks babe

 

+guanghongji+: "BABE"????

 

+guanghongji+: ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED

 

+guanghongji+: GUYYSSSS HE CALLLED ME BABE IM CRYIGN

 

leo_dli: im so embarrassed...

 

phichit+chu: LOL CONGRATS

 

leo_dli: shut up bedsheet

 

phichit+chu: #R00D

 

leo_dl: ur texts give me a headache

 

phichit+chu: ur face gives me a headache

 

yuri-plisetsky: both of you are giving me a headache!

 

phichit+chu: YUUURII UR AWAKE CMON PRESENT TIIIIIMMMEEEE

 

phichit+chu: ILL GET VY UP

 

yuri-plisetsky: thats a bad idea but ok

 

phichit+chu: u dont mean...

 

yuri-plisetsky: yes...

 

yuri-plisetsky: ...katsudon sleeps ugly

 

phichit+chu: :/ 

 

phichit+chu: not the tea i was looking for

 

 

phichit+chu posted a photo: CHRIIISTMASSS #Hasetsu #babes #presents #christmas

 

781 Comments

 

yuri-plisetsky: do you live ur whole life on instagram

 

phichit+chu: ;)

 

yuri-plisetsky: (⊙◞౪◟⊙)

 

phichit+chu: :/

 

 

Sent 12-25-15 at 10:12

 

otabek-altin: yuri

 

otabek-altin: want to get together after the holidays

 

otabek-altin: w could go to almaty

 

otabek-altin: its pretty at night

 

otabek-altn: text me when you can

 

 

Sent 12-25-15 at 10:18

 

yuri-plisetsky: MILA HOLY FUCK

 

m_babicheva: hm?

 

yuri-plisetsky: OTABEK WANTS TO GO TO ALMATY AFTER HOLIDAYS

 

yuri-plisetsky: WHAT DO I SAY

 

m_babicheva: you want to?

 

yuri-plisetsky: OF COURSE I WANT TO

 

m_babicheva: hm....ok

 

m_babicheva: be natural

 

m_babicheva: stay calm

 

m_babicheva: breathe

 

m_babicheva: and then freak out after you text him

 

yuri-plisetsky: ok...

 

yuri-plisetsky: my hand re shakigng

 

m_babicheva: haha good luck :)

 

 

Sent 12-25-15 at 10:29

 

yuri-plisetsky: yis

 

yuri-plisetsky: i ike tat

 

yuri-plisetsky: o key

 

otabek-altin: ...thats a yes?

 

yuri-plisetsky: ys

 

otabek-altin: ...okay

 

otabek-altin: we can arrange something later

 

otabek-altin: in the meantime I'd suggest you stay away from the eggnog...

 

yuri-plisetsky: i no eggnoog

 

otabek-altin: ok yuri

 

otabek-altin: have fun

 

 

Sent 12-25-15 at 10:45

 

yuri-plisetsky: MILA

 

yuri-plisetsky: I SEDSSS UP

 

m_babicheva: is that english

 

yuri-plisetsky: sufferi.jpg

 

m_babicheva: lmao

 

m_babicheva: ur lucky he loves u lol

 

yuri-plisetsky: MILA U BTCG IT NOT LKE TAHTA

 

m_babicheva: have fun on ur date :)

 

yuri-plisetsky: IAMLLAA

 

 

MERRY CHRYSLER

 

Sent 12-25-15 at 11:07

 

phichit+chu: whatsss up its 7-11 backwards u know what that means

 

leo_dli: dark 7-11

 

phichit+chu: i think u mean light 7-11 is one of the fucking weirdest places ive been to

 

leo_dli: walmarts worse

 

phichit+chu: like everytime i go into 7-11 i get the chills man

 

leo_dli: wear a jacket. it chilly.

 

phichit+chu: shut up u know what i mean

 

christophe-gc: I get the chills when i shove an entire icicle up my ass

 

phichit+chu: TO GT IN THE SPIIRT SHOVE 4000 SANTA UP UR ASS

 

yuri-plisetsky: people ask why im mentally unstable. 

 

yuri-plisetsky: THIS IS WHY

 

phichit+chu: awww yurio u dont wanna shove candy cnes up there

 

yuri-plisetsky: fuck off go back to bed bitchit

 

phichit+chu: SOMEONES NOT FEELIN FESTIVE

 

yuri-plisetsky: GET TF AWAY ROM ME W THSE LIGHTS FCK OFCFTGCGH

 

v-nikiforov: anyone know why yura is screaming bloody murder

 

v-nikiforov: nvm

 

 

v-nikiforov posted a photo: candy canes should be handled appropriately @phichit+chu #omg #christmas #pooryurio

 

3000 Comments

 

yuri-plisetsky: PHICHIT IS GOING TO DIE

 

v-nikiforov: i dont wanna go to the er again. pls kiss n make up.

 

phichit+chu: yeah yurio kiss n make up ;)

 

yuri-plisetsky: IDC IF U HATE THE ER IM GONNA GET HIM

 

phichit+chu: LVE MEE ALON WITH THAT KNIFEE

 

phichit+chu: PT IS DOWBT

 

phichit+chu: VICTRE

 

 

v-nikiforov posted a photo: two ER visits in one day, not happy. #thisiswhyidontcelebratechristmas #imdone #bothareinpain #metoo #goodnight


	24. "THIS IS WHY WE CANT HAVE NICE THINGS"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i keep procrastinating on adding MM in again. maybe it'll appear soon...maybe never. it depends on my mood

MERRY CHRYSLER 

 

Sent 12-26-15 at 08:33

 

phichit+chu: GUESS WHAT YUURI GOT MEEEEEEE

 

leo_dli: ?

 

+guanghongji+: do u want me to tell or not

 

phichit+chu: sHUT UP JI

 

+guanghongji+: k

 

leo_dli: um... is it PG?

 

phichit+chu: ok this is yuuri we're talking abt. the guy cant even watch a sex scene on tv.

 

leo_dli: tru

 

phichit+chu: So?

 

leo_dli: hm....concert tickets?

 

phichit+chu: I WISH RED VELVET OWNS MY ENTIRE ASS

 

leo_dli: whats Red Velvet

 

phichit+chu: off topic

 

leo_dli: ...ok?

 

phichit+chu: anyone else?

 

christophe-gc: Is the sexy nut also allowed in nut fandom?

 

leo_dli: I thought we said we werent calling it nut fandom!

 

phichit+chu: OFF.TOPIC.

 

christophe-gc: fine. condoms.

 

phichit+chu: pG READ THE RULES

 

leo_dli: oh im sorry are there like community guidelines now??

 

yuri-plisetsky: the only one is "if ur annoying you leave"

 

leo_dli: then this chat wouldnt exist at all

 

yuri-plisetsky: STAY ON TOPIC

 

emil-nekola: a kitty?

 

phichit+chu: a cat would eat my hamsters! ofc not! cats are evil!

 

emil-nekola: >:(

 

yuri-plisetsky: YOU TAKE IT BACK

 

yuri-plisetsky: MY CAT IS AN ANGEL

 

yuri-plisetsky: VERA WOULDNT HURT A FLY

 

christophe-gc: Ur cat is apart of yuri's angels?

 

otabek-altin: Yuri's Angels aren't exactly harmless

 

phichit+chu: I HATE ALL OF YOU

 

leo_dli: JUST TELL US

 

phichit+chu: FINE

 

phichit+chu: I got....

 

+guanghongji+: a hamster onesie!

 

 

phichit+chu removed +guanghongji+ from the chat

 

 

seung--gillee: lol

 

 

phichit+chu posted a photo: ᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷ ◅ #christmas #hamster #pjs 

 

 

+guanghongji+ posted a photo: Bedsheet #nocontextrequired

 

450 Comments

 

phichit+chu: why are you so salty

 

phichit+chu: first you steal my followers, then my happiness!

 

+guanghongji+: let me back in

 

phichit+chu: i refuse!

 

+guanghongji+: @leo_dli

 

phichit+chu: THATS NOT FAIR

 

phichit+chu: FAVORITSM

 

+guanghongji+: NOW YOU KNOW WHAT I HAVE TO GO THROUGH WITH YUURI

 

leo_dli: im not getting involved

 

phichit+chu: YES

 

leo_dli: oh im adding him back. that will be the extent of my help though.

 

phichit+chu: NOOOO LEOOO

 

+guanghongji+: @leo_dli <3

 

leo_dli: <3

 

phichit+chu: STOP BULLYING ME

 

+guanghongji+: sorry i dont speak english

 

phichit+chu: U LITTLE RAT

 

+guanghongji+: see u @ merry chrysler 

 

 

MERRY CHRYSLER

 

Sent 12-26-15 at 09:46

 

yuri-plisetsky: someone please change the name

 

v-nikiforov: is yurio a grinch now?

 

yuri-plisetsky: i want to go home! i miss grandpa!

 

yuuri_katsuki: did you want to spend christmas with him?

 

yuri-plisetsky: .

 

yuuri_katsuki: hm...well what did you do together?

 

yuri-plisetsky: none of your damn business!

 

v-nikiforov: Yura don't be mean. Venting helps sometimes.

 

yuri-plisetsky: ...

 

yuri-plisetsky: we didn't celebrate much, since he wasn't very religious and I'm Jewish

 

yuri-plisetsky: but on the seventh we still made pirozki and opened presents

 

yuri-plisetsky: and then we'd celebrate Hanukkah together 

 

yuri-plisetsky: It wasn't much, but I loved it

 

yuri-plisetsky: This year I missed Hanukkah and Christmas with him though because of the GPF

 

yuri-plisetsky: I'm just...a little homesick

 

yuuri_katsuki: aw yurio

 

yuri-plisetsky: I'm having an alright time here but

 

yuri-plisetsky: i want to go home

 

yuuri_katsuki: aw yurio

 

yuri-plisetsky: shut up

 

yuuri_katsuki: its okay to feel homesick

 

yuri-plisetsky: I SAID SHUT UP

 

yuuri_katsuki: I felt homesick a lot in Detroit

 

yuri-plisetsky: I HATE YOU. SHUT UP.

 

v-nikiforov: then why'd you come?

 

v-nikiforov: You claim to hate us, yet here you are

 

v-nikiforov: Hm?

 

yuri-plisetsky: I

 

yuri-plisetsky: ...its stupid

 

v-nikiforov: I say a lot of stupid things and yuuri hasn't left me

 

v-nikiforov: yet

 

v-nikiforov: we wont judge you

 

yuri-plisetsky: fuck

 

yuri-plisetsky: i just...you're my family too, okay?

 

yuri-plisetsky: I came because you asked me to! Because I love you!

 

v-nikiforov: We love you too Yura!

 

yuri-plisetsky: ..really? you're not going to laugh at me?

 

yuuri_katsuki: of course not!

 

yuri-plisetsky: thanks...

 

yuri-plisetsky: you know finding agape was hard at times

 

yuri-plisetsky: because it's unconditional love

 

yuri-plisetsky: and before you two and yuuko and otabek...it was just me and grandpa

 

yuri-plisetsky: thank you

 

yuuri_katsuki: yuri...

 

 

leo_dli added+guanghongji+ to the chat

 

 

+guanghongji+: hey sorry to interrupt your little moment here

 

 

+guanghongji+ changed chat name to “Phichit can suck it!”

 

 

phichit+chu: LEO I HATE YOU

 

+guanghongji+: :)

 

leo_dli: ugh. i.

 

yuri-plisetsky: THIS IS WHY WE CANT HAVE NICE THINGS

 

yuri-plisetsky: FUCK THIS CHAT. IM LEAVING.

 

 

yuri-plisetsky left the chat

 

 

v-nikiforov: .

 

yuuri_katsuki: I-

 

phichit+chu: ...

 

phichit+chu: ANYWAY

 

phichit+chu: im gonna go to bed now

 

+guanghongji+: me too! night!

 

v-nikiforov: Guang-Hong...

 

yuuri_katsuki: phichit...

 

leo_dli: Leo...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm slowly easing back int things. Winter break is allowing me a lot of free time to write so i guess i can post more


	25. "anytime m8"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> updating at 3 am bc i have the worst sleeping habits ever. i doubt im even gonna sleep for another hour :/

Suck it Phichit

 

Sent 12-18-15 at 09:53

 

phichit+chu: i spent half a day in bangkok only to return to the airport rip me

 

+guanghongji+: tragic

 

+guanghongji+: meanwhile I was smart enough to leave hasetsu two days ago

 

phichit+chu: shut up or im stealing money from u in ny

 

+guanghongji+: shut up or im stealing ur bf in ny

 

phichit+chu: i think the fuck not you trick ass bitch

 

leo_dli: guang-hong doesn't love me anymore

 

leo_dli: or maybe...i was just a side hoe all along

 

yuri-plisetsky: yeah and I'm madly in love with JJ

 

v-nikiforov: I thought you liked that nice Kazakhstani boy

 

yuri-plisetsky: SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP

 

yuri-plisetsky: wait who added me back

 

phichit+chu: god

 

yuri-plisetsky: ok so it was mila thanks phichit now i know who to kill

 

phichit+chu: remember kids: always wear gloves, change your hairstyle, get a sharp disposable blade, and wear all black

 

seung-gillee: are you talking about murder or emos

 

phichit+chu: [im sorry](http://24.media.tumblr.com/c4b8f12016e305d4b6d36ae8d7c5d3af/tumblr_mkws36UgVu1ry10fwo1_400.gif)

 

 

m_babicheva posted a photo: If i die @sara-crispino gets my instagram followers #lol #soscaredofa15yearoldemoboy #morelikeedgelord

 

 

v-nikiforov posted a photo: smoothies! #yum #mango #yuurigivemeasip

 

 

Suck it Phichit

 

Sent 12-28-15 at 10:30

 

christophe-gc: if yuuri is ice ice baby

 

leo_dli: ice ice baby? the smoothie place???

 

christophe-gc: ja its to die for

 

christophe-gc: anyway...does that mean Victor is Ice daddy?

 

yuri-plisetsky: i hate all of you

 

yuuri_katsuki: please stop

 

v-nikiforov: I would go for "king" or something but w/e

 

phichit+chu: ICE DADDY IS A GO

 

yuri-plisetsky: shut UP

 

v-nikiforov: aw is it already nap time yura?

 

christophe-gc: apparently not ice daddy

 

leo_dli: wait i thought yuuri was the baby? what?

 

yuri-plisetsky: fuck you. all of you.

 

christophe-g: ya here that ice daddy? he wants to fuck all 4 of us. including ur bby.

 

yuuri_katsuki: im leaving if you dont stop

 

phichit+chu: does this also apply for sugar daddy/baby

 

christophe-gc: victor is pretty wealthy...

 

 

yuuri_katsuki left the chat

 

 

seung-gillee: another fallen warrior

 

phichit+chu: jfc ur so dark

 

seung-gillee: thank <3

 

 

Three Musketeers

 

Sent 12-28-15 at 09:19

 

phichit+chu: i love seung-gil lee so much i ate an entire macaroni

 

leo_dli: just one noodle?

 

phichit+chu: no the whole box

 

leo_dli: that can't be healthy

 

phichit+chu: shut your mouth dick la iglesia

 

leo_dli: did you come here just to bully me

 

phichit+chu: no i have priorities

 

leo_dli: prioritizing what? pasta?

 

phichit+chu: quiet

 

leo_dli: :/

 

phichit+chu: ANYWAY

 

+guanghongji+: are u gonna talk about ur bf now

 

phichit+chu: gh knows me so well i love him

 

phicht+chu: and dont get ur boxers in a twist leo u know i love seung-gil lee

 

phichit+chu: seung-gil is so pretty

 

phichit+chu: i just

 

phichit+chu: ahhhh

 

phichit+chu: .

 

phichit+chu: u know what?

 

leo_dli: no?

 

+guanghongji+: yes, you love Seung-gil Lee, we know, you love Seung-gil Lee so much, he's the light of your life, you love him so much, you just love Seung-gil Lee, we KNOW , you love Seung-gil Lee you fucking love Seung-gil Lee ok we know, we get it, YOU LOVE SEUNG-GIL LEE. WE GET IT.

 

phichit+chu: ha true

 

+guanghongji+: i need new #victuuri pics im deprived

 

phichit+chu: only if i get #leoji pics ;)

 

+guanghongji+: can it wait an hour im in the hotel rn

 

phichit+chu: i thought you were staying with leo?

 

+guanghongji+: not enough space. too many siblings.

 

phichit+chu: how many?

 

leo_dli: five, plus my parents and grandmother

 

phichit+chu: damn son

 

+guanghongji+: so? pics????

 

phichit+chu: yeah ok

 

phichit+chu: text me in an hour

 

+guanghongji+: ok

 

 

MERRY CHRYSLER

 

Sent 12-28-15 at 11:38

 

 

kenjirou-m changed the chat name to "Happy New Year!!!"

 

 

yuuri_katsuki: uh minami

 

yuuri_katsuki: i dont know if you know this or not

 

yuuri_katsuki: but there's three days to new year

 

kenjirou-m: yuuri

 

kenjirou-m: i dont know if you know this or not

 

kenjirou-m: but i dont care

 

phichit+chu: ha roasted

 

phichit+chu: @ ji ji where r u

 

phichit+chu: its been over an hour now

 

+guanghongji+: i forgot

 

phichit+chu: wtf could you possibly be doing to forget i exist

 

yuri-plisetsky: meth

 

phichit+chu: ok edgelord

 

+guanghongji+: im cuddling with my bf. uninterrupted. its nice.

 

phichit+chu: doesnt he have a shit ton of fam tho

 

+guanghongji+: parents and sibligs are out. grandma is asleep downtairs

 

+guanghongji+: haha leo's asleep too. we're watching the princess and the frog

 

+guanghongji+: omg i love ur character in the movie!

 

phichit+chu: ?

 

+guanghongji+: [lovely](http://images2.fanpop.com/image/polls/478000/478527_1277773159542_full.jpg?v=1277773206)

 

phichit+chu: thanks ji

 

+guanghongji+: anytime m8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If ya'll haven't seen the Ice Daddy thing I suggest you go hunt on twitter for it. seriously.


	26. "I TAKE IT BACK NOOOOOO"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 30k words special!

Happy New Year!

 

Sent 12-31-15 at 22:24

 

phichit+chu: ayyyyeeeee its lit guys

 

phichit+chu: fuck nyc is crowded

 

leo_dli: what did you expect its new years eve

 

phichit+chu: still...

 

kenjirou-m: im at yuuri's for new years!

 

kenjirou-m: he's pretty boring though

 

kenjirou-m: guyyysss what time is it there?

 

phichit+chu: 08:30

 

kenjirou-m: aw man its almost new years here!

 

kenjirou-m: just 1.5 hours left!

 

phichit+chu: haha i still got alllll day to prepare

 

phichit+chu: they do a huge ball drop here u know

 

phichit+chu: i cant wait to see it in person!

 

kenjirou-m: I want to see it one day! maybe when im an adult!

 

yuri-plisetsky: so....5 years?

 

kenjirou-m: I'M 17!!!

 

yuri-plisetsky: You sure?

 

kenjirou-m: ...yes

 

+guanghongji+: im still cuter than minami

 

leo_dli: ok gh we get it. ur cute.

 

phichit+chu: im tired. i wanna sleep again.

 

leo_dli: then go to sleep??

 

phichit+chu: Seung-gil stole all the covers!

 

kenjirou-m: you're sleeping together?

 

phichit+chu: yes.... no not like that

 

phichit+chu: but yes. we slept in the same bed. big deal.

 

+guanghongji+: even leo and i dont sleep in the same bed

 

phichit+chu: then where'd these pics come from?

 

phichit+chu: sleepy1.jpg

 

phichit+chu: sleepy2.jpg

 

phichit+chu: sleepy.mov

 

+guanghongji+: PHICHIT

 

phichit+chu: thats for not txting back for #victuuri pics deal!!!

 

yuuri_katsuki: what...

 

phichit+chu: ...shit

 

 

v-nikiforov posted a photo: A new year, a new us! #newyear #hasetsu #party!

 

4988 Comments

 

phichit+chu: There's the quality #victuuri stuff i've been looking for

 

yuuri_katsuki: ...you really posted that victor?

 

v-nikiforov: unlike you i want my life to be photographed so i can look at all these sweet memories later!

 

v-nikiforov: you didn't even wish me a happy birthday! im wounded!

 

yuuri_katsuki: I forgot I had social media that day ok

 

v-nikiforov: :/

 

m_babicheva: @v-nikiforov We still have a few hours to go in Russia!

 

v-nikiforov: @m_babicheva ah! how's everyone there? I miss you!

 

m_babicheva: we're ok... well at least I am

 

m_babicheva: Georgi's sad bc his gf couldn't make it...yura's whining about wanting to go home...and Yakov has a migraine ofc

 

v-nikiforov: ah....perhaps it's best I'm here after all

 

m_babicheva: I wish I wasn't stuck here :(

 

m_babicheva: my gf is dealing with her brother and is upset.

 

v-nikiforov: i know all about upset lovers...

 

yuuri_katsuki: as do I...:[

 

v-nikiforov: yuuri did a smiley! it's very cute!

 

phichit+chu: u guys r so boring. leak a sex tape or something.

 

yuuri_katsuki: pHICHIT

 

phichit+chu: i forgot we arent on gc. whoooopppsss

 

lulu-buggy: @phichit+chu thats actually not a bad idea

 

phichit+chu: @lulu-buggy right? we need drama!

 

yuuri_katsuki: uh I think the skating worlds had enough drama for one year...

 

phichit+chu: good point

 

phichit+chu: make two sex tapes! surprise them!

 

yuuri_katsuki: i don't know how to deal with you anymore

 

+guanghongji+: @yuuri_katsuki place him in a room with Seung-gil Lee and he's good to go

 

seung-gillee: :}

 

phichit+chu: YAY! <3

 

yuuri_katsuki: i see...

 

v-nikiforov: same with me! place me in a room with yuuri and i'll be satisfied!

 

juju-frooty: would you film a sex tape then?

 

v-nikiforov: no sex tape this year sorry :)

 

yuuri_katsuki: im going to bed. in my room. goodnight.

 

v-nikiforov: I TAKE IT BACK NOOOOOO

 

 

phichit+chu posted a photo: No sex tapes this year guys....good thing it's still 2015 where i am!!!! #lol #victuuri

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im tired and stressed. end me.


	27. "YUURI I H8 U"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Guess who's too tired to write more than 600 words? u guessed it its me. sorry im just not feeling well...like ever. im always like this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New way to write this fic: copy and paste all the comments from @notdiggitygay and I.

Sent 1-3-16 at 13:44

 

+guanghongji+: can you believe its already 2016

 

leo_dli: I can't believe you're turning 18 soon 0.0

 

+guanghongji+: oh yeah,,, I forgot

 

+guanghongji+: i'm just sad that i won't see you again until Four Continents :(

 

leo_dli: it's only a month away

 

+guanghongji+: thats so long!

 

leo_dli: look on the bright side

 

leo_dli: at least we get to see each other at all :)

 

+guanghongji+: I hate long-distance relationships!

 

+guanghongji+: I'm cancelling the universe!

 

leo_dli: ...how about you go for a walk GH

 

+guanhongji+: ...ok

 

+guanghongji+: I'll text you later

 

leo_dli: preferably not a 11 pm?

 

+guanghongji+: no promises

 

 

phichit+chu posted a photo: @seung-gillee is the best! <3

 

2651 Comments

 

kiasy: @pauali LOOK

 

kiasy: I KNEW they're together!!!!

 

justice-violet: @kiasy so? where's the proof? 

 

mouse!cate: @kiasy Seung-gil is straight! he was with Crispino at Rostelecom!

 

bassy-ship: Michele?

 

mouse!cate: No, Sara! Seung-gil totally likes her!

 

hana-sin: @mouse!cate Does he tho? He seemed pretty normal around her...and with Phichit he's actually smiling

 

okia-nokia: @mouse!cate Exposed

 

mouse!cate: shut up. seung-gil is straight and in love with sara. phichit is dating guang-hong ji.

 

lorney-do: @mouse!cate ummmm Guang-Hong Ji is dating Leo de la Iglesia, the American skater

 

mouse!cate: @lorney-do sources???

 

lorney-do: His Insta descirption???? Leo's description??? Numerous posts and comments???????

 

mouse!cate: until they outright say they're dating they're just friends.

 

justice-violet: EXACTLY! Until SG and Phichit (or Leo and GH) say they're together we can't just assume they are!

 

kiasy: @justice-violet @mouse!cate With that logic you can't say SG/Sara or GH/Phichit is real either

 

phichit+chu: @kiasy Snatched

 

kiasy: FUCkIM @llooan SCREAMIGG

 

llooan: OH MY GODD KIAN!!!!!!!

 

phichit+chu:@mouse!cate Ji and Leo are together. They've said so multiple times. They kissed at Skate America. What more do u need?

 

mouse!cate: hmph

 

mouse!cate: @phichit+chu Are you and SG together

 

phichit+chu: @seung-gillee idk are we

 

seung-gillee: no hetero

 

kiasy: FUCKINGGGGGGG

 

lorney-do: CALLLLLEDDDD ITTTTTTTT

 

phichit+chu: :p

 

kiasy: @llooan CATE DEACTIVATED AJSDSYFYFSJ

 

seung-gillee: tragic

 

 

Happy New Year!

 

Sent 1-3-16 at 18:32

 

phichit+chu: im here 

 

phichit+chu: im queer

 

phichit+chu: im ready to die

 

seung-gillee: :(

 

phichit+chu: SG IS BEST BF VIC AINT GOT NOTHING ON HIM

 

v-nikiforov: I'm best fiance

 

phichit+chu: tRUE

 

phichit+chu: although yuuri is better....

 

yuuri_katsuki: dont get me involved anymore

 

phichit+chu: you cant escape

 

yuuri_katsuki: phichit i have stuff to do

 

phichit+chu: liiiikkkkeee whhhaaaattt

 

yuuri_katsuki: packing?

 

phichit+chu: WHERE ARE YOU GOING

 

yuuri_katsuki: I thought I told everyone....

 

phichit+chu: @ everyone DO U KNOW WTF HES GOING

 

leo_dli: he's moving???

 

+guanghongji+: didn't u hear????

 

emil-nekola: to russia right? >:)

 

phichit+chu: HOW COME IM ONLY LEARNING THIS NOW

 

yuri-plisetsky: you didn't know? really?

 

phichit+chu: NO

 

yuuri_katsuki: ...oh right

 

yuuri_katsuki: I specifically requested no one tell you until I was done packing

 

phichit+chu: WHY ARENT I UR BFFF????

 

yuuri_katsuki: knowing you you'd spill it to the whole world! 

 

phichit+chu: YUURI I H8 U

 

 

phichit+chu left the chat

 

 

v-nikiforov: ...

 

v-nikiforov: yuuuurrrriii

 

yuuri_katsuki: it was a good idea at the time shut up

 

yuri-plisetsky: wellll im gonna ft beka now. bye losers

 

leo_dli: yeah i gtg to the store. adios.

 

+guanghongji+: uh me too! Bye!

 

leo_dli: gh ur in china

 

+guanghongji+: i mean...i gotta do a school project! bye!

 

v-nikiforov: why is everyone leaving

 

seung-gillee: im still here

 

seung-gillee: im always here

 

seung-gillee: watching

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r1Ikq6BCxM4


	28. shortest chapter in wuasts history...shockingly

Sent 1-4-16 at 08:49

 

v-nikiforov: Yuuko's daughters are very talented

 

yuri-plisetsky: ? at what? sadism?

 

v-nikiforov: art yura~

 

yuri-plisetsky: so? idc??

 

v-nikiforov: would you like a little look at their newest drawing?

 

yuri-plisetsky: no?

 

v-nikiforov: oh I think you do~

 

yuri-plisetsky: No??? I dont???

 

v-nikiforov: i think you doooo~

 

yuri-plisetsky: JUST SHOW ME THE DAMN DRAWING ALREADY

 

v-nikiforov: ok~

 

v-nikiforov: [art.jpg](https://68.media.tumblr.com/bf1b0a980d47a07cf49a4be1e4137a6b/tumblr_oizeivuMlE1vnwm1to1_540.jpg)

 

yuri-plisetsky: FUCKIGN

 

 

Sent 1-4-16 at 08:55

 

yuri-plisetsky: WHY

 

yuuko-n: oh you found out?

 

yuuko-n: whoops!

 

yuuko-n: but they're talented aren't they?

 

yuri-plisetsky: ....i guess

 

yuuko-n: Axel, Lutz, and Loop say thank you!

 

yuri-plisetsky: ...whatever

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :^)
> 
> i don't get enough credit for this natural disaster of a fanfic I'm #pissed


	29. "blackmail galore"

Sent 1-5-16 at 22:57

 

+guanghongji+: I hate

 

leo_dli: you hate what

 

+guanghongji+: hate

 

leo_dli: i dont?

 

+guanghongji+: hate

 

leo_dli: how about you get some rest? ok?

 

+guanghongji+: oke

 

+guanghongji+: bye bye baby

 

leo_dli: ...bye guang-hong <3

 

 

Happy New Year!

 

Sent 1-5-16 at 23:21

 

phichit+chu: u know that feeling when like

 

phichit+chu: u just want someone

 

phichit+chu rlly badly

 

christophe-gc: aw phichit is thirsty! 

 

phichit+chu: oh so thats what im feeling

 

phichit+chu: guys im thirsty

 

seung-gillee: for?

 

phichit+chu: u

 

phichit+chu: bae come over

 

seung-gillee: im in s korea

 

phichit+chu: my parents arent home ;)))))

 

yuuri_katsuki: phichit you dont live with your parents

 

yuuri_katsuki: youre a grown man

 

phichit+chu: oh my god yuuri shut UP im trying to get some v

 

yuuri_katsuki: whatever. im going to sleep.

 

phichit+chu: ur just jealous imma bout to get sum and ur not :))))\

 

 

phichit+chu changed chat name to "New Year New Thirst"`

 

 

yuuri_katsuki: ugh

 

phichit+chu: so bae?

 

phichit+chu: ;;;;)))))

 

seung-gillee: ill see you at four continents

 

phichit+chu: THATS IN FEBRUARY I CANT WAIT THAT LONG

 

leo_dli: now you know how I feel!

 

phichit+chu: except unlike you i'm not a pathetic virgin!

 

leo_dli: phichit i'm ace. guang-hong is ace. we dont want sex.

 

phichit+chu: STILL

 

leo_dli: how about you go to bed too? guang-hong was raging earlier

 

yuri-plisetsky: I hate everything. more than usual.

 

phichit+chu: SAME>>>I WANNA TEAR SOMETHING APART AND STOMP ON IT>>>

 

christophe-gc: lol i suddenly want to stab an apple :)

 

leo_dli: idk why all of you are suddenly so angry

 

leo_dli: its a new year guys be happy!

 

phichit+chu: 2016 wants us dead

 

phichit+chu: i can feel it

 

leo_dli: ok phichit its night night time

 

leo_dli: all of you where its past 10:00: GO TO BED

 

phichit+chu: 10 is in the morning??

 

leo_dli: 10 AT NIGHT...UH

 

leo_dli: 22:00! YEAH!

 

leo_dli: all of you where its past 22:00 go to sleep!

 

phichit+chu: fine. 

 

christophe-gc: its like 12:00 here lol ill go work out or somethin

 

yuri-plisetsky: ill go nap anyway. mila is annoying.

 

leo_dli: alright. goodnight/morning/whatever everyone!

 

seung-gillee: should i just go or stay and overlook the chat

 

leo_dli: uh..your choice dude. Its not like we’ll be here though…

 

seung-gillee: im always watching

 

seung-gillee: learning everyones secrets

 

seung-gillee: blackmail galore

 

leo_dli: ...you do you dude…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you guys liked this short chapter. next chapter will be the finale, and it will be extra long. stay tuned ;)))))))


	30. THE FINALE

New Year New Thirst

 

Sent 1-6-16 at 23:56

 

phichit+chu: [leostrueform.jpg](https://68.media.tumblr.com/2e1d85671f1c25d15b2be36925d3e19c/tumblr_oj50ddPC781vnwm1to1_1280.jpg)

 

 

leo_dli removed phichit+chu from the chat

 

 

+guanghongji+: [haha](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CiSgFXPUkAEH7Ad.jpg)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> finale my ass


	31. "drk"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Small shitty update ofc. Happy belated birthday Guang-Hong!
> 
>  
> 
> EDIT: I FOUND THE DADDY MEME E N J O Y ;))))))

Sent 1-8-16 at 05:37

 

leo_dli: Guang-Hong!

 

leo_dli: Happy birthday!

 

+guanghongji+: thkm

 

+guanghongji+: bas

 

leo_dli: Is that english or...

 

+guanghongji+:drk

 

leo_dli: ok...

 

+guanghongji+: by

 

 

Sent 1-8-16 at 05:42

 

leo_dli: gh.jpg

 

leo_dli:???

 

phichit+chu: Leo its 3 am pls sleep

 

leo_dli: well it's 3 pm here so...

 

phichit+chu: ji's probably so tired lmao

 

phichit+chu: bad boyfriend

 

leo_dli: thanks phichit

 

phichit+chu: might be worse later though...

 

 

Sent 1-8-16 at 10:21

 

phichit+chu: lmao get ur popcorn ready yuuri

 

yuuri_katsuki: what did you do

 

phichit+chu: not me lol

 

phichit+chu: you'll see ;))))

 

 

Sent 1-8-16 at 11:50

 

+guanghongji+: I cant believe

 

+guanghongji+: (╬ Ò ‸ Ó)

 

leo_dli: ?

 

+guanghongji+: (╬ Ò ‸ Ó)(╬ Ò ‸ Ó)

 

leo_dli: im sorry for waking you up late at night...???

 

+guanghongji+: (╬ Ò ‸ Ó)(╬ Ò ‸ Ó)(╬ Ò ‸ Ó)

 

leo_dli: no...uh

 

leo_dli: i'm sorry i didn't send chocolates to china

 

+guanghongji+: (╬ Ò ‸ Ó)(╬ Ò ‸ Ó)(╬ Ò ‸ Ó)(╬ Ò ‸ Ó)

 

leo_dli: IM SORRY FOR EVERYTHING

 

+guanghongji: (╬ Ò ‸ Ó)(╬ Ò ‸ Ó)(╬ Ò ‸ Ó)(╬ Ò ‸ Ó)(╬ Ò ‸ Ó)

 

leo_dli: ILY GUANGHONG IM SO RRY

 

+guanghongji+: (╬ Ò ‸ Ó)(╬ Ò ‸ Ó)(╬ Ò ‸ Ó)(╬ Ò ‸ Ó)

 

leo_dli: im getting somewhere

 

leo_dli: ok i love you so much

 

leo_dli: u are the light of my life

 

leo_dli: my beautiful rainbow boy<3

 

+guanghongji+: ( 〃．．)

 

leo_dli: (◦′ᆺ‵◦) ♬° ✧❥✧¸.•*¨*✧♡✧ ℒℴѵℯ ✧♡✧*¨*•.❥

 

+guanghongji+: ah

 

+guanghongji+: I forgive you!

 

leo_dli: great! now what did I do

 

+guanghongji+: I spent all day waiting for you to text me

 

+guanghongji+:and uh...some other things

 

+guanghongji+: see bedsheet if u want details

 

+guanghongji+: WAIT NVM DONT

 

leo_dli: <3 bye<3

 

+guanghongji+: :(

 

 

Sent 1-8-16 at 12:22

 

leo_dli: what happened

 

phichit+chu: he told me not to tell

 

phichit+chu: but idc

 

phichit+chu: i just need screenshots first ;)))

 

leo_dli: ....fine

 

leo_dli: chatgh.png

 

phichit+chu: booiiiiiiii u whipped

 

leo_dli: shut up colanut. i want answers.

 

phichit+chu: okay okay

 

phichit+chu: he spent the day ranting to me about you wanting to break up bc u didnt text him

 

phichit+chu: he rescheduled a party with his school friends

 

phichit+chu: he didn't touch his cake

 

phichit+chu: and he cried himself to sleep

 

phichit+chu: you, leo de la iglesia, are a bad boyfriend

 

phichit+chu: and i, phichit chulanont, savior of thailand, won another battle!

 

leo_dli: oh my god

 

phichit+chu: good luck buddy :P

 

 

Personal Issues

 

Sent 1-8-16 at 12:38

 

phichit+chu: lookie

 

phichit+chu: losers.jpg

 

phichit+chu: terriblebf.jpg

 

phichit+chu: hahaha

 

seung-gillee: blackmail

 

phichit+chu: ofc!

 

yuuri_katsuki: you're a terrible person

 

phichit+chu: u love me all the same!

 

christophe-gc: that boy's gonna need a shit ton of roses shipped to china lmao

 

phichit+chu: ikr

 

phichit+chu: he's so whipped yet so oblivious

 

yuuri_katsuki: that sentence made n sense but ok

 

phichit+chu: and neither did that one mr grammar police

 

christophe-gc: hmu again when u have new tea. this chat will always be my fave fno.

 

phichit+chu: lmao ok. bye chrissy <3

 

christophe-gc: bye chuchu <3

 

yuuri_katsuki: you two are...close

 

phichit+chu: and ur quite close with vic vic arent u ;)

 

yuuri_katsuki: phichit

 

phichit+chu: yeah

 

yuuri_katsuki: we're engaged

 

phichit+chu: shit ur right

 

phichit+chu: gtg drink bleach

 

yuuri_katsuki: have fun at starbucks :)))

 

phichit+chu: u know me too well ;)

 

phichit+chu: bye!

 

seung-gillee: everyone is gone

 

seung-gillee: eradicated

 

seung-gillee: the revolution is won

 

seung-gillee: viva la seung-gil empire

 

phichit+chu: (oT-T)尸~~

 

 

Sent 1-8-16 at 15:16

 

phichit+chu: How about you go fuck yourself I didn’t ask for your opinion or impute so go do whatever the fuck you do somewhere the fuck else we didn’t go see this movie for the fact we are ddlg or kink related we went because I wanted to see the fucking movie I’m the daddy btw a 22 year old guy who fucking likes movies if they are good so go fuck your self because I’m planning on watching it again and guess what you can’t fucking stop me so you need to grow the fuck up this isn’t even inappropriate your just looking to start shit so move the fuck along you piece of fucking shit and guess what I carry a fucking pistol on me to guess you have a problem about that to so just go to your safe zone where you can play big and bad like you have any fucking clue how this world works and quit trying to tell someone how to live their life if you got a problem you can come find me my name is loveless bitch

 

christophe-gc: ;))))))))))

 

 

yuuri_katsuki left the chat

 

 

phichit+chu: [bye](https://media4.giphy.com/media/tF5CZSrC4SuB2/200_s.gif)


	32. "i kissed him?"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I updated! Finally!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if format is off i did this on my phone bc im too lazy to deal with my laptop

Sent 1-11-16 at 12:43

 

yuri-plisetsky: fuck fuck fuck

 

yuri-plisetsky: FUCK

 

v-nikiforov: ????

 

yuri-plisetsky: i just realized im on a plane

 

yuri-plisetsky: to almaty

 

yuri-plisetsky: to see otabek

 

v-nikiforov: I dont?

 

yuri-plisetsky: otabek. altin. almaty.

 

yuri-plisetsky: his house. his room. oh god.

 

v-nikiforov: ah...nervous to see the bf yurio?

 

yuri-plisetsky: that better stand for best friend

 

v-nikiforov: best friend you kiss, have sex with, l o v e

 

yuri-plisetsky: hes not my boyfriend

 

v-nikiforov: yet

 

yuri-plisetsky: yet

 

yuri-plisetsky: did i just say that

 

v-nikiforov: i knew you had a thing for him!

 

v-nikiforov: lol gotta text yuuri. He owes me

 

yuri-plisetsky: i hate you

 

v-nikiforov: you're still on a plane to almaty yura

 

v-nikiforov: do you want advice or not

 

yuri-plisetsky: ....

 

yuri-plisetsky: yes

 

v-nikiforov: great!

 

v-nikiforov: the first step is being subtle. Make a good first impression.

 

v-nikiforov: Then gently hit on him

 

yuri-plisetsky: ok but how can i trust you 

 

yuri-plisetsky: you aren't subtle at all

 

v-nikiforov: huh?

 

yuri-plisetsky: katsudon told me you showed up naked in the onsen

 

yuri-plisetsky: not subtle at all

 

v-nikiforov: ....

 

v-nikiforov: well it worked

 

yuri-plisetsky: ...fine

 

yuri-plisetsky: what else

 

v-nikiforov: ok!

 

v-nikiforov: next is initiating contact

 

v-nikiforov: it works trust me

 

yuri-plisetsky: i s2g 

 

yuri-plisetsky: ur advice sucks lol

 

yuri-plisetsky: b y e

 

v-nikiforov: wait!

 

v-nikiforov: i didnt even tell you about kissing him on the ice! Engagement at a church?!?

 

 

Sent 1-11-16 at 17:29

 

otabek-altin: Yuri

 

otabek-altin: Are you at the airport?

 

yuri-plisetsky: ye

 

yuri-plisetsky: I mean yes!

 

otabek-altin: Okay..

 

otabek-altin: I'm coming inside.

 

yuri-plisetsky: Okay!!! Cabt wait!!

 

yuri-plisetsky: *can't lol my hands r shaking!!!!

 

otabek-altin: Are you feeling okay?

 

 

Sent 1-11-16 at 17:32

 

yuri-plisetsky: VICTOR HE NOTICED HELP

 

v-nikiforov: so you do want my advice after all

 

v-nikiforov: stay calm yurio! 

 

v-nikiforov: its just otabek, your bfff forever

 

yuri-plisetsky: best friend forever forever forever forever

 

yuri-plisetsky: ok gr8 whats next

 

v-nikiforov: get in the car

 

v-nikiforov: make small talk

 

v-nikiforov: at his apartment you attack

 

yuri-plisetsky: attack?!??

 

v-nikiforov: with hugs and kisses ofc!

 

yuri-plisetsky: THE REASON IM IN THIS MESS IS BC YOU TOLD ME TO ACT LIKE YOU DO

 

yuri-plisetsky: HE THINKS IM SICK OR SOMETHING

 

v-nikiforov: oops

 

v-nikiforov: on the bright side at least you arent cold towards him

 

yuri-plisetsky: ONLY BECAUSE I ACTUALLY LOVE HIM UNLIKE YOU

 

yuri-plisetsky: shit

 

v-nikiforov: love huh?

 

v-nikiforov: im glad for you yurio!

 

v-nikiforov: good luck with ur future husband!!!

 

yuri-plisetsky: :/

 

 

Sent 1-11-16 at 17:36

 

yuri-plisetsky: im feeling gr8

 

yuri-plisetsky: where are you?

 

otabek-altin: I'm near the coffee shop.

 

otabek-altin: Wearing a black jacket

 

yuri-plisetsky: okay!

 

yuri-plisetsky: i see u!

 

 

Sent 1-11-16 at 22:33

 

yuri-plisetsky: victor

 

v-nikiforov: ya?

 

yuri-plisetsky: i

 

yuri-plisetsky: i kissed him?

 

v-nikiforov: Yay!!!!!!!!!!

 

yuri-plisetsky: on the cheek

 

v-nikiforov: Yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

yuri-plisetsky: he was surprised

 

v-nikiforov: Yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #canon

 

yuri-plisetsky: i ran victor

 

v-nikiforov: not yay

 

v-nikiforov: where are u

 

yuri-plisetsky: bathroom

 

yuri-plisetsky: hiding

 

v-nikiforov: you can't hide from all your problems yurio

 

v-nikiforov: that poor boy is probably so confused :(

 

v-nikiforov: you can't just kiss someone and run away!

 

yuri-plisetsky: ...youre right

 

yuri-plisetsky: i should talk to him shouldnt i

 

v-nikiforov: yep!

 

 

Sent 1-11-16 at 22:51

 

v-nikiforov: yurios getting some lol

 

v-nikiforov: they grow up so fast :')

 

yuuri_katsuki: hes like 15 can you not

 

yuuri_katsuki: dont encourage underage sex victor!

 

v-nikiforov: i meant kisses

 

yuuri_katsuki: ...oh

 

v-nikiforov: but on that note

 

v-nikiforov: ;)))))

 

yuuri_katsuki: ...

 

yuuri_katsuki: unless you're willing to miss an important interview and a flight I suggest you keep it in your pants

 

v-nikiforov: :/

 

v-nikiforov: cockblocked by my own fiance

 

v-nikiforov: betrayal

 

yuuri_katsuki: shut up and go to sleep

 

yuuri_katsuki: in your own bed

 

v-nikiforov: :'(

 

yuuri_katsuki: sleep Victor

 

v-nikiforov: fiiiiinnnneeeee

 

v-nikiforov: goodnight yuuri <3

 

yuuri_katsuki: ...goodnight victor

 

yuuri_katsuki: <3 

 

v-nikiforov: <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 

 

yuuri_katsuki: sleep

 

v-nikiforov: sir yes sir

 

v-nikiforov: night handsome ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's the otayuri as promised ;)))


	33. "shut up and hug me"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Im still alive :)))))

New Year New Thirst

 

Sent 1-12-16 at 09:55

 

phichit+chu: listen bitches i have a prop

 

phichit+chu: proposition

 

 

phichit+chu changed chat name to "fucc me papi"

 

 

phichit+chu: anyway

 

leo_dla: u want someone to f u?

 

phichit+chu: only seungie<3

 

leo_dli: :/

 

phichit+chu: what are u jealous de la Iglesia???? ;))

 

leo_dli: f off phichit

 

phichit+chu: if im not mistaken i was here first. You approached ME leo ;)

 

leo_dli: im leAving

 

phichit+chu: bYe

 

 

Sent 1-12-16 at 10:42

 

v-nikiforov: you have issues 

 

v-nikiforov: all of you

 

v-nikiforov: :)

 

phichit+chu: speak for urself mr "fly around the world with my dick out"

 

v-nikiforov: fair

 

+guanghongji+: phichit don't act like u haven't done that either

 

phichit+chu: im never denying nor confessing to anything 

 

+guanghongji+: :/

 

v-nikiforov: its apparent that good master Phichit here has a daddy kink!

 

v-nikiforov: the rumors cums out: does phichit chulanont is kinky?

 

phichit+chu: im neither denying nor confe

 

+guanghongji+: so its a yes

 

+guanghongji+: phichits a freak ngl

 

phichit+chu: shut up kid

 

+guanghongji+: well I'm 18 so technically I'm not a kid anymore :D

 

phichit+chu: buddha give me strength

 

+guanghongji+: lol loser!!!

 

v-nikiforov: yeah!! Lol loser!!1!

 

phichit+chu: ur both going to hell

 

+guanghongji+: according to those church ppl in the us im going there just for being gay and trans!! I get to go 3 times hell yeah

 

v-nikiforov: ooh!! I get to go 2 times!!!

 

v-nikiforov: come on @yuuri_katsuki lets go to hell together!<3

 

yuuri_katsuki: can't rn we're catching a plane in an hour

 

v-nikiforov: rats! I rlly wanted to go!!

 

phichit+chu: im rolling my eyes as i descend 

 

v-nikiforov: well have fun in hell phichit!! Send a postcard!! xoxo

 

 

phichit+chu left the chat

 

 

leo_dli: its quiet uptown :)))

 

v-nikiforov: ?

 

leo_dli: nvm 

 

v-nikiforov: r u going to hell too

 

leo_dli: nah im going to bed its late af

 

v-nikiforov: aw ok. Have fun sleeping

 

leo_dli: uh...ok.

 

v-nikiforov: :)

 

+guanghongji+: @leo_dli wait bae 

 

leo_dli: gn :D

 

+guanghongji+: night <3<3<3

 

v-nikiforov: last scene of all, that ends this strange eventful history, is second childishness and mere oblivion

 

v-nikiforov: sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything

 

yuuri_katsuki: shut up and hug me

 

v-nikiforov: the third act it is!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short ik but at least i did something for once


	34. yee

phichit+chu: how to delete life

yuri-plisetsky: easy

 

yuri-plisetsky deleted the chat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the end

**Author's Note:**

> hmu on my tumblr and twitter @halesiias


End file.
